Realization and Changes

Now that its been a few weeks since Steve and I broke up, I started thinking about the things I didn't like about him and realized he was a pretty shitty boyfriend. Despite what he might think, I'm actually pretty glad I don't have to be with someone so crazy and I won't have to deal with his psychotic sister and his parents.

I think the thing that made me sad the most was that we spent so much time together when we had days off and stuff, so now that I'm single I have to find things to do, either on my own or with friends and I decided to take a few classes (indoor climbing and yoga - will start soon) I didn't realize I lost so many friends while I was dating him because they just didn't like him... I think that's the thing I regret the most.

I did make the mistake of hooking up with him after the break up (Ashley don't kill me LOL) but I think it was because we were just lonely, I hope to god I'm not knocked up... lol.

I sort of realized he made tons of excuses not to do things with me. A few years ago when he applied for the RCMP they asked him what he did to de-stress himself, he didn't really have a way to relieve his stress (besides punching shit whenever he got mad) and they didn't really like his answer so they deferred him for two years. Since then.. he didn't really make an effort to go on dates with me but he seriously made an effort to go drinking with his buddies every chance he got. His excuse was "I need to de-stress" the same excuse whenever he played video games for hours or watching tv/movies. So he really didn't make an effort to go out on dates especially when I wanted to and he really wanted me to understand that he was sooo stressed out all the time and that's why he didn't want to go out for dinner or watch movies or do any activities with me... -__-' and then he says that he felt like we were more like friends with benefits even though HE was the one that made no fucking effort to go out or do anything with me... dodged a bullet there!

Not only that he has rage issues, all my friends even talked to me about it. One time he walked into the doorknob and it hurt him and he got so angry he started punching the door... I was like "WTF ARE YOU DOING?!" and he said "I'm mad at the door" .... yeah... lol, his coworkers talked to me about it once too but he doesn't seem to think that's a problem so... I hope he fixes this before he becomes a police officer. Knowing his buddies, they will vouch for him and not say anything but that's because they really don't know him that well. He really does behave differently around them.

I do worry about him being placed in a position of power and how his family will probably manipulate him as they do now. When his dad got in trouble with the law in Korea his mom pulled some strings to get him out of it, it wouldn't surprise me if he bailed out his family members if they got in trouble here otherwise he would be "selfish" for not thinking about his family as his mom and sister would say.

At one point we talked about getting married/having kids and I was pretty worried because his family values money above anything else and its pretty sad (especially his sister) I brought it up once and said that money really isn't the most important thing and Steve said to me "I hate to break it to you, but money does cause a lot of happiness, if you can't see that then you're blind" -__-' what I mean by this is that, they have to ALWAYS have all the new toys and gadgets, the name brand clothes just to show off and pretend they're rich. Not sure if I mentioned this but when his grandma died and instead of packing and heading off the the airport right away, his mom and Steve went shopping to buy name brand clothes to impress their cousins.... because that's so important! I feel bad for his future children and the generations that will come from his sister.

As for dating again... the ladies at work want me to date one of our coworkers who is also newly single.. But I really don't want to. He's a nice guy and all but I honestly don't think we'll get along or have much in common plus, I don't really want to date somebody in the same department as me because if we broke up - things would get so weird. Anyway, I'm not really thinking of dating someone else right now at least... it'll probably be another month or so before I start even thinking of dating... Unless its this super hot nurse at work LOL I told Steve I would leave him for this nurse HAHAHAH.

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Anyway, I can't remember if I mentioned this in a previous post or not but I'm moving back home. I literally live around the corner from Steve and I really don't want to live here lol. I walk past his house all the time when I go to work and I'm just like FML. He asked me if I was going to move back home and I didn't tell him anything - he doesn't need to know.

Honestly, I'm going home just to save money, I know its going to be hell because my mom is insane. I didn't even tell my parents yet that I'm single... so I'm just going to let it be for now because I can just imagine what my mom would say "I knew he would leave you for someone else" "he left you because you're crazy" shit like that... >.<

I also don't think I mentioned that I bought a car lol so going back home would help me save so much money. I promised myself I would get girlier this summer so let's see how that goes -___-' LOL

Desperation

Its been a while since I talked about Steve's family, I think... lol I haven't really read my blog posts in a while.

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Round 1

The past few months especially have been the weirdest. Steve's mom wanted to buy a house a few months ago, she freaked out because she thinks that its the only time she can get a house so she's been desperate trying to buy one in North Van.

When she was told that she can't get one because she doesn't make enough income she asked Steve's sister and him to be co-signers for the mortgage, it still wasn't enough and it didn't get approved.

So since it wasn't approved she is forcing them to move out of their current apartment, why? We don't really know why LOL we were like yeah you couldn't get a house - but it doesn't mean you have to move... its kind of illogical and an inconvenience for everyone that you live with.

They should really stop letting his mom make decisions for their family. She's too impulsive and she doesn't really think ahead about how it affects other people.

I'm kind of worried about Steve co-signing a mortgage with his mom and sister (I'm not the only one) because I kinda had a goal to get a place for us within like 5 years (like a townhouse or an apartment) but him co-signing a 15 year mortgage with 2 other people would be difficult for us to get a place one day.

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Round 2

We thought since they didn't get approved his mom would stop looking at houses and actually look for a place to rent but nope!

The house they went to look at most recently is actually near my house and its a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom place and its a fixer upper (unfinished basement, roof needs replacing, flooring needs to be replaced), they want to renovate it and then sell it within 2 years.

They went and put an offer on that house and its about $679,000 for the house and the offer they put it was about $630,000? something like that and the owner of the house is refusing the offer because I guess they think the house is worth more? (its not lol) so they said $670,000 take it or leave it.

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Final Round

So here is where it gets fucked up for me and my family. Instead of looking for a place to move into next month they were just looking at houses, why? Priorities? lol its like yeah you can put an offer on a house but you won't always be able to move into it right away. So Steve's mom wants to come back and live at our house (for 2-3 months) and the only person she asked was my mom. She didn't ask what me or my dad wants and the thing is our mom doesn't make household decisions like that.

Of course she would ask my mom because they get along and she knew my mom would say yes. I told Steve that NO WAY that I will let that happen it was just absolute hell when she lived here, the suite they used to live in isn't even available for them to rent so the only option is the tiny little room near the garage and it really isn't big enough for 2 people and a dog.

So I talked to Steve about how its definitely not going to work, I explained to him how last time his mom lived here the utility bills were so high and I said it wouldn't matter if she paid for it this time around because she's just too loud and inconsiderate and then adding his sister and the dog? its just not going to work. It'll work out for her but it'll stress the shit out of everyone else in the house.

I go on practicum soon and I don't want to be woken up at 5AM because she decided to call someone in Korea and put them on speaker phone so everyone can hear or us hearing her argue with his sister or Steve. Or hear Monet excessively barking.

Its just not going to work plain and simple, I explained it to him and he told his mom that it isn't going to work, her reaction? SUPER PISSED OFF she absolutely hates my dad even though I told Steve that it was mostly my decision. But you know, she should have said something months ago instead of last minute like she always does.

At the end of the day its like if she's making all these decisions for her family, why is it that she has to drag my family into it? I mean its not like me and Steve are fully committed (no ring on ma finger! lol) I'd probably be a little more ok with it if that were the case (probably not though LOL) and if our roles were reversed his mom would not help us in any way.

Plus it'd be beneficial for Steve to live away from his mom and sister. I don't know why they are so dependent on him... laziness? Probably.

At this point his mom is on her own agenda and because we're not doing what she wants, she's super pissed off and its time she deals with her problems like an adult. 

*UPDATE BONUS ROUND*

I knew Steve would pussy out about living in our house. His mom won't let him move out for the next 2-5 years because he has to help pay for the mortgage because they finally got a place in North Van (its a town house in East North Van)

All his friends are even like "WTF why are you getting a mortgage with your mom? Don't get one!" his answer? "I have no choice" ... REALLY! YOU CAN SAY NO, fucking idiot! he's too scared of his mom.

So if we got married and etc, then its really up to me to deal with the big expenses (like buying a property, etc) but he won't be allowed to live with me unless he is contributing to mortgage/rent cause wtf, really!

Short story time!

Late Merry Christmas to everyone! I hope you all had a good holiday and have fun partying tomorrow on new years eve!

I wanted to write this out while it is still fresh in my mind

Well its not really a story as it is just some stupid shit that really pissed me off lol

Last night I spent the night at Steve's place and his mom was at work and his sister was out having dinner with her friends.

Steve's sister took his mom's car cause she didn't want to bus home and she asked Steve to pick up their mom from work, he said no cause he has to work early in the morning (leaves at 6AM gets up at 5AM to get ready for work) and she gets off at like 11PM so he wanted some extra sleep. Plus his sister works in the morning too (by 9AM) so he figured by 11PM she'd be heading home. So she said fine I'll pick her up.

When his mom came home she was all super pissed off, she freaked the fuck out at him because his sister had to leave her friends to pick her up and then go back. She was like going opening and slamming drawers and doors, kept swearing and yelling about how he was selfish and only thought about himself and that he doesn't give a shit about the family.

I was like WHAT THE HELL, he does nothing but do shit FOR the family, your daughter DOES NOTHING!!! She only cares if his sister has a good time and looks good in front of her friends but doesn't give a shit about making him do everything and add on more stress.

I was like WTF, so your daughter parties with her friends and takes no responsibility to pick you up with YOUR car and you freak out at your son for not picking you up cause you wanted your daughter to have a good time with her friends... *slow claps*

That really pissed me off, its his sisters problem, shouldn't be his like wtf, if his mom had such a big ass problem with it she should have said something earlier, making it a huge problem is fucking stupid.

One day we get back from our trip from the states and she's already being extremely selfish

Jesus!

December Update

This is basically going to be a few months worth of updates since I don't post as much anymore. Now that I'm on Christmas break I finally have the time to sit down and write a proper post :)

WARNING: long post ahead, no pictures LOL

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School

I'm almost done school! Its taken up the majority of my time, I only see Steve like once a week lol since I have no time to do anything. I'm going to school to become a medical lab assistant and the past two months. I've been super tired probably due to blood loss LOL. Its been tough but I'm contemplating whether I should go back to school for another program my school offers, but I guess I will wait and see.

Yesterday we had our final for microbiology which was almost cancelled because this random alarm went off lol but we ended up doing the written exam (it was a procedural final and a written final) we did do the procedural but it was quicker than normal because of the alarm.

I made some good friends from the class but I have a feeling I will lose touch of some of them super quick after we graduate. Two for sure I know I will try to keep my friendship with but others... who knows.

Just two more months of school and then I'm done! :)

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Family

Next week we go to Ashleys!! WOOO but I'm so broke, like really broke that I'm not even sure if I should go or not ahahahah, but if I get a job after I graduate I won't be able to see Ashley or her husband until.. who knows?

I have a feeling my dad feels sad because none of his daughters will be home for the holidays but its not like we ever celebrated christmas to begin with. 

My mom is getting crazier by the day and I have a feeling she actually has to kill someone with the car until she gets her license taken away or for her case to be taken seriously because her driving is fucking insane. I cringe every time I get in the car and watch her drive >.<

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Steve and his family

Oh boy... this one might be a long one lol

Let's see where to start, Steve's mom didn't get some work for a few weeks and in between that time I swear to god she went absolutely insane. She kept getting pissed off at Steve for not doing shit for her (like pay bills, buy groceries, get gas for her car) she got pissed off to the point where she would slam doors and freak the fuck out and he would get super pissed, then I would get pissed. 

I told him: "she's got no excuse not to do any of those things, you're (steve) working full time and she's not working right now and she's at home all the time. She has all the time in the world to do that shit, why is she making you do it? Not only that you have a sister who is a secretary who can do all of those things, why doesn't she ask her to do it, why does it always have to be you? She's not stupid as far as I know, just being lazy"

He was like yeah wtf, I guess he never looked at it from my point of view but he freaked out at her and said all the shit I said and she's backed off for a bit but I know its not going to last. The thing is he allows her to do all of that by enabling her, he'll do stuff to shut her up but it doesn't teach her any thing. It really makes me wonder what he will do in the future when he moves out and she has to do all that stuff for herself. She'll probably just bribe him with money to do it for her - that's my guess.

His sister started working as a executive secretary at a hotel in Vancouver. It makes me wonder how her work ethic is because when she's at home, she's super lazy, she doesn't want to do anything, she even gets his mom to drive her to and from the work place where she could bus easily there. Plus when she goes out drinking with her friends she gets their mom to pick her up all the way from downtown but when Steve needs a lift when he's been drinking he has to take a bus home because they both are too lazy to go pick him up.. wtf!

Steve's mom freaked out at Steve for playing video games and said to him "you don't give a shit about the family, all you care about is yourself" (because he plays video games LOL) and it made me wonder what role she thinks his sister is playing in the family. But she probably gets to get away with things like this because she's a girl and I know his mom likes to emphasize gender roles "you're my son you're supposed to do things for me" that bullshit.

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Got a few posts being edited so stay tuned for those! (Beauty and some makeup posts!)

Steve's Sisters BF

So earlier in the summer I finally met Steve's sister's boyfriend.

Steve's mom told me she absolutely hates him lol and that she's worried that she'd marry him because he didn't finish his education so he could help out at his mom's restaurant. Its not that she hates him as a person its that she wants to know he will have a more stable career in the future.

Which is understandable I guess but she could try to like him? I automatically felt bad for this dude because I never met him, and I've been in his shoes (maybe I still am in his shoes) where his mom wants them to break up lol.

His family owns a Korean restaurant and its pretty popular according to Steve's sister so his family is pretty wealthy and I guess he wants to expand on that in the future but who knows.

So he went to Korea in the summer and on the way back he had a layover in Vancouver for 12 hours and we all decided to have lunch together and Steve's sister was going to spend the rest of the day with him showing the city and going out to eat and etc.

When I first saw him right off the bat my gaydar went off LOL. He had feminine features but I guess its a common trait most FOB Korean guys have lol. Let's just say he likes to dress well - jewellery on both hands (rings and bracelets and watches), pierced ears, and interesting clothing choices. Let's just say, he enjoys the finer things in life. He gave Steve a limited edition Lacoste T-shirt that was like $300 apparently and some other expensive crap lol (buying friendship? Maybe, he is trying to impress her older brother lol) But I think you get the picture on what type of clothes he likes (hint: expensive)

So I gave him the benefit of the doubt when I first met him. Automatically when he came he SUCKED UP real hard to Steve's mom and to Steve but when it came to me, he absolutely didn't even bother trying to talk to me or anything. It was my first time meeting him so I asked him:
"how was your flight?" - Ignored
"Are you tired from your trip?" Ignored
"What do you want to see in Vancouver?" -Ignored

So I was like fuck this shit. Automatically I hated him and I still do well maybe not hate, I just dislike him a lot lol. I get that you're trying to impress Steve's family and shit but you know you don't have to be a fucking asshole lol.

What really sealed the deal was when we dropped him off at the airport, Steve's mom didn't come with us since she had to go to work but he hugged Steve's sister good bye, shook Steve's hand and didn't say a word to me or anything, no wave - just nothing. Maybe he's got a problem with non-Korean people? but who knows. First impressions are pretty important in my book and well he just isn't worth knowing now.

I learned nothing about this guy except a few things: likes to kiss ass, rude, cares about money and status, might be gay. Me and Steve had a good laugh when I told him that I thought he was gay at first, I said "maybe he's one of those guys who marries a woman but then comes out of the closet like 30 years down the road, don't be surprised if it happens" he agreed LOL

But I didn't really tell him about what I really thought about this guy and I really could've influenced his relationship with Steve and Steve's mom in a beneficial way but I'm going to tell Steve what I really think about him.

I already get the impression from Steve that he doesn't like this guy so I guess it won't really change much anyways.

September Updates

So... I started school last month, which is a huge reason why I've been neglecting this blog >.<

I started school at a private college (which is a reason why I started in August) and nearly didn't get in, the program I'm in is a 6 month program to be a medical laboratory assistant.

I chose to stop my other schooling because well, it was just taking WAY too long and I just can't stand being at home any more. I seriously think that if I stay here for another 3 years I will commit suicide and honestly this is a great stepping stone into something else if I choose to upgrade later on.

So far the school is great, I've made lots of friends and I found out that I'm the weirdo of the class LOL. This month though is probably gonna be one of the toughest months for the program, we're learning lots of medical terminology and anatomy and physiology (which we haven't started yet) and basically there's a test every day so my brain is fried at the moment lol.

So there goes the summer lol.

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I had a discussion with Steve about the future and I told him that I will most likely abandon my parents, probably right after I get a job, hopefully after this program.

I feel like our relationship is beyond rebuild/repair, only because they're not willing to admit the mistakes they made and continue to make and them believing that everyone else is the problem besides themselves.

I told him that I do worry about if/or when the time came when we got married or had kids and I honestly don't want them to be a part of it. I'd worry about my mom causing a scene at my wedding and her spreading lies to Steve's family (like she tried to in the past) or call me a slut while I'm walking down the aisle in Vietnamese so she can snicker with her friends, like at Ashley's wedding.

Or if we had kids I would not want either of my parents to be around them. I can't trust my mom around any kids, she has no sense of right or wrong, even when she drives she almost hits people with the car and she blames them for "getting too close." It's just not happening with my kids, I'm not willing to take the risk and Steve understands (or so he says lol) I know his mom is not going to understand, she can't understand that kids can hate their parents.

My parents can't understand that either, both my parents and Steve's mom share the same mentality about it. Basically (I'm sure I've said this somewhere in a previous post) they believe that Money=Love the more you spend the more you love your kids, it doesn't matter if you're abusive or neglectful, in their eyes they think they're great parents, and sadly its something my parents and Steve's mom share.

I don't hate my entire family, just my parents, they're just not supportive or anything. I see how successful our cousins are and its because their parents actually tried to help them be successful in the future.

(had a tough morning lol its why I'm about them)

So that's that, moving on.

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I'm hoping to make at least 1 post per weekend, I have tons of stuff to talk about and share but SCHOOL! lol. I have an exam on Monday but I gotta get some motivation to post stuff lol or at least pre-write some posts so I can just update this blog lol.

If you're wondering what's happening with Steve and his crazy family, That needs its own post LOL. Honestly there's a lot of weird shit and a lot of shit to talk about lol.

So again, so sorry about the neglect!

I'm also thinking of renaming this blog, only because I kinda feel like Style Pop is kind of irrelevant to what I'm doing now lol, maybe I'll just move over to a new blog :)

Thanks for the read!

Over It

As most of you know, I love to bitch about my shitty parents.

I've really just had enough, they don't listen to reason and think they're the greatest thing ever and just put me down all the fucking time and I'm just done and over it.

I had the mentality of "when my parents get old I'll take care of them because they paid for my education and stuff" but FUCK THAT, they really think they can treat their kids like pieces of shit and then get rewarded for it when they get old just because they paid for education (only college nothing else).

They gave us NO LIFE SKILLS WHATSOEVER they just thought the government and the schools will handle it all. We don't know how to swim, ride a bike, drive a car or anything! I learned how to fucking cook in grade 11! Through a cooking program my school offered. At least Steve's shitty parents gave all of that to them but not our parents, I'm fucking learning how to drive like 10 years after Steve got his license.

Then my mom goes on to say "all of your cousins are better than you because they know how to do drive and do all these things and YOU DON'T" I'm like WTF, MAYBE ITS BECAUSE THEIR PARENTS LOVED THEM AND WANTED THEM TO SUCCEED IN LIFE. Seriously any time my mom had the funds to put us in a extra curricular class or program or anything that can help us boost our education or life skills she'd spend it all at the casino and my piece of shit dad didn't care he was just like "well as long as I'm feeding you, you'll be successful" What an idiot.

I feel so robbed out of my childhood and my life, all of my friends have supportive parents who pushed them into great careers and its given them great life skills and their parents supported them throughout their school careers and work lives and mine are just fucking crazy and abusive (mentally).

They're going to get the consequences of treating people like shit, their ultimate karma, loneliness but I guess they still have each other until one of them dies, I really will not ever forgive them for doing these things to me and Ashley, why should I? They''ll think they're right still because "they had us." I guess its the Asian mentality of "I had you so I'm right and you're wrong because I'm older than you" that bullshit.

I've wished death on my parents for many many years and now I just hope that it comes before I finish school so I can at least have some peace of mind instead of being a hermit at home and not talk to anyone that comes in the house.

I'm just going to try my best to graduate and get my ass out of this house for good and never see them ever again. My cousins, aunts, uncles can guilt trip me all they want about how I should take care of them because they "took care" of me and my sister but fuck that.

I am not rewarding abusers and nobody ever should if their parents treat them like shit.

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Happy Birthday Ashley!

Sweet Asian haircuts

Yaaay! its Ashley's birthday today!

So much has happened this year! 

Ashley competed in her first show, learned how to drive and more! 

Hopefully next year will be even more awesome (well yeah cause Sailormoon comes out in a few months lol)

And I get to hang out with her in a few days :D

See you soon Ash!

P.S Ashley doesn't have a weird birth mark on her neck its just some random dirt stuck on this photo lol

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Here we go again!

So we've been going back and forth about going to the states. I got the Ok from Steve on Friday about us going today and then this morning his fucking mom decides (last minute) that she wants a bunch of shit done and she's so fucking stupid she can't do it her fucking self so she has to make Steve do it. And of course the little puppet is doing what it is told and he wants to leave early to deal with his mom's stupid bullshit.

She knew full well that we are leaving today, she could have mentioned this shit yesterday, or the day before. Nope, she has to spring it up last minute because I guess her little mind processed the fact that she was going to be alone for a few days and she couldn't handle that.

I mentioned in August that his mom was getting pissed off because I wanted to visit my sister and since she wanted to go shopping in the states we might as well go for a visit, she absolutely, unequivocally knew that I won't be able to see her until December and Steve promised me that we would come down now.

Steve and I argued through text messages about why we have to come back early for the simple errands she can do herself and he told me "you won't understand because its a cultural thing" HOW IS IT A CULTURAL THING? EVEN MY KOREAN FRIENDS AT SCHOOL TOLD ME THIS IS ABNORMAL!!!!! and I understand full well your mom is incapable of doing anything beneficial for your family now, its official. Its no wonder why his fathers side of the family absolutely hates her, she contributes nothing but reaps the rewards.

She leaves to Korea on Thursday (hope she gets murdered) and the plan was to stay at Ashley's place till Wednesday morning, like fuck we literally see his mom everyday, Steve does everything for her everyday, HE DID HER FUCKING HOMEWORK FOR HER YESTERDAY! And he went to the store to get a duplicate receipt for her laptop that she lost and did her fucking banking, while she did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

How does she expect to care for geriatric patients when she can't even figure out youtube? or google?

Her view on homosexuality is absolutely horrid. She is extremely uneducated when it comes to homosexuality and sex. She said to me "Do all gay people have HIV?" "They're all mentally retarded right?" "they must have a mental condition" "does his dick not work?" "if you have anal sex you automatically get HIV right?" I was absolutely shocked when I heard these words spoken out of her mouth, she seriously flipped out when she found out Anderson Cooper was gay. When she told me all this I told Steve "your mom is absolutely ignorant when it comes to sex and homosexuality and we need to educate her" and he said to me "all Koreans think like that so whatever leave her alone" (<--WRONG!) and then she asks me to ask my homosexual friend's mom to help her get a job when she graduates, umm no fuck you, he owes you nothing especially after basically saying that he's mentally retarded.

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Every week since she started school its "amanda can you edit this for me?" or "can you write this for me?" and "can you read this and tell me what it means?" and she knows that I go to school full time for ACTUAL CREDITS THAT COUNT FOR SOMETHING not for some stupid program that finishes in 4 months with a practicum that is full of people who don't speak or write english well. Grades don't matter in this class she's taking, they're passing this girl that has failed every single exam that should be getting 20% So yeah I don't think it really matters if I edit her crap or not. If I don't do it, Steve ends up doing it.

So basically its like why even go to school if your not willing to do the work? She paid Steve $100 to do her 6 page project on elder abuse and I'm guessing that she didn't learn anything about that. She's like "I got an A" on random projects we did and its like no you didn't we did lol.

Basically we're leaving a day early now, which is fine I wanted to leave on Wednesday (the more time we can spend away from her the better) but a day early is better than nothing and really its not like Steve likes his mom at all, he even told me that. They don't get along, they barely talk to each other unless she wants him to do/give her something and they pretty much have nothing in common besides the fact that they are related. But he insists that he's the son and he has to do these things because its the Korean way and my friends at school (who are Korean) counter-argued that and said that they are the eldest sons and even their mothers don't do these things.

I have a feeling plans will change again real soon, will keep this updated as things progress throughout the day.

I hope to god Karma gets her.

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and.. Christmas Is Ruined Again

Last year Steve's mom randomly decided that she wanted to come to Canada last minute while we were in the US visiting my sister for Christmas. So we had to leave early to basically open the fucking door for her because she didn't bother to give us a heads up.

THIS YEAR! We planned on going SINCE! They didn't let me go see my sister in July but then Steve's mom decides basically that her car broke down so that means that Steve has to pay for it, not her. So whatever he's getting from his paycheck (right before we were supposed to leave) is going into HER bank account ... yeah.. so now he's like "I can't afford to go now" and I'm like FUCK! WTF! because his dad gives his mom money and I'm very aware of how much money she has in her bank account but she's not willing to touch it so its kind of like wtf. She doesn't want us to visit for like 2 days wtf, you live with us! WE SEE YOU EVERY FUCKING DAY!

So now I have tons of packages sitting at Ashley's house waiting to be picked up and some I've been waiting for like almost a fucking month! >.< and I really want to get them and I really don't want to ask them to bring it up (I'm not going to, I really want to fucking go visit them) and its probably not going to be until the end of my fucking semester to go visit!

Grarrgh! Seriously year after year and this is the second time they did this to me, even if it isn't intentional but I think its selfish to ask your son to pay for your car when you have lots of money.

Fuck this family!

*UPDATE* Yeah Steve called his dad and he'll be paying for his mom's car so we can actually go down and visit! Yay!

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASHLEY!!

YAAAY its Ashley's birthday!!!

Its a good thing Ashley was born too! Otherwise if it was just me I would kill myself since I would have to deal with our parents LOL (even thought she was born first hahahaha)

Monet (The stupid Pom we have) decided to leave a gift behind for Ashley by peeing all over our bed and letting it soak through! GRAAARGH STUPID DOG I KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

As punishment I put her in the crate and put her in the spare room we have >.< She knew what she was doing was bad too because she ran like hell when I came into the room!

Anyways Ashley, Happy birthday! I will see you soooooooon!

If you are interested in Checking out her blog click on the banner on the left that says Hey Jukie or just CLICK HERE :P

P.S bring Trixie to Canada when you come up and visit LOL

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The Self Righteous Parent

Everyone deals with people like this
There's no reasoning with that person because they just either don't believe you or they have such strong beliefs of their own that their perception of the situation is so warped that their way of thinking is not straight on and doesn't make sense

Steve's mom has been here since the 26th of December (as I've mentioned before) and she's caused so many fucking problems already. I don't know if she has a mental issue or she's just fucking inconsiderate (probably both) but something is definitely not right there.

For two days now she's been freaking out at him for failing his cbsa exam (border services) and not getting a job (this was like a year ago) and he is still going to school. She keeps ridiculing him for not staying in university and said to him if he doesn't get the job he's going for in February then he has to quit school in Canada and live in Korea, wtf.

"Everyone else has kids who have finished university and are looking for jobs what are you doing? wasting your time with your friends"

Its not like he isn't trying to get a job I mean he's a student at JIBC, he's also applying for jobs and works part-time. Its not that he's fucking lazy I think he is entitled a few days off, especially on his birthday (it was his birthday on new years day).

I have to say, if you don't get a job it doesn't mean you have to move halfway across the world to study english (he's fucking fluent lol) and compared to Canada, Korea is probably not the best place to study english, probably engrish.

Plus you don't move someone halfway across the world because they didn't get a job, maybe if they were addicted to drugs and you want them to go to rehab and not have access to the environment they were in wtf lol.

"I'm your parent and you should do what I say"

Every time a friend of mine tells me that their parent has said this I get angry. Just because you are a parent doesn't mean you are a good one. Anybody can be a parent (for example a 12 year old girl that got accidentally pregnant) but not everyone is a good parent.

To me Steve's mom has the maturity of a 15 year old girl, and if she doesn't get what she wants she calls daddy (aka Steve's dad lol) She was never ready to have kids and still isn't.

I have to be honest, Steve isn't the best human in the world lol, his parents have warped his mind a little bit but he is slowly adapting to the culture here but I know some things in his mind will never change or will slowly change. If you don't adapt to the world then you will be the outcast

"I'm your parent so you have to give me money and I have to live with you when I am old"

I'm serious about this: If your parent ever tells you that you owe them something (money, making you let them live with you) then they are pieces of shit. I'm fucking serious, you don't owe them ANYTHING. If your parent only had you to take care of them when they're older what does that say? basically they had you for their own selfish needs. Its not a right/obligation to have kids, just because you can it doesn't always mean you should.

Somebody told me: In Korea, before you get married you have to live with your husbands parents for a month or two so their mom can teach you how to be a good housewife. Because the man has to take care of the family by providing the money.

So I blame his mom for his faults LOL

I told Steve if his mom continues to say these things then I'm going to have to ask her to leave and not come back to the house and if she refuses then I'll call the cops. At this point and time Steve is ok with that.

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Back Home

Oh god that was the longest car ride of my whole entire life.
My mom is so fucking psycho, I have no idea what the fuck is going on in that mind of hers but I think its happening in my dad's as well.

I haven't been home in almost like two weeks and my mom is going on about how my cousin Tiffany is so much better than me and how she's so good to her mother. I'm like she's only good to her mother because her mother doesn't shit talk about her daughter behind her back nor does she belittle her in front of other people. Plus she has had a way better upbringing unlike mine, I'm sure if our home situations switched I would actually love my parents.

If my mom was home all day to cook and clean for me and help me do homework and teach me things I would probably love her. Unlike mine who would leave me and Ashley in the car for a few hours in a parking lot casino to gamble, steal my lucky red pocket money I would get during Chinese New Year or start calling me a slut at 10 years old for going to my friends birthday/slumber party because she didn't want to waste money buying them a birthday gift. My dad thinks she's still a good mom, I said no and he got mad at me and said I don't know what I'm talking about, if your adult child tells you your mom is fucked up maybe you should listen to them instead of doing whatever is convenient for you.

I really do resent my cousins. They were just given so much compared to me and my sister I find it really unfair, I really do not believe in god if he would give children to such despicable people. My dad is not much better I guess they do rub off on each other, he should've divorced my mom years ago but he said to me "if we had divorced you guys would be messed up because you wouldn't have two parents" O_O BLARGHARGHGHHGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It pisses me off when people say to me "you should be nice to your mom/treat your mom better" and I'm like yeah yeah... but I feel like they have no fucking right to say that. Its easy to tell people to do that because you don't have to fucking deal with it. Your not the one living with someone who would break into your room and steal money or stuff and destroy your expensive clothes. Its easier just to say shit but if you don't have experience first hand about what I'm talking about then I'm not going to fucking listen to you.

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In other news I have to go back to the states again soon because me and Ashley are going to Hawaii :D I'm excited to go but not excited to at the same time because I'm so body conscious I have low self esteem because I've gained weight >.< *sigh* have to start to work out, no bikini photos! LOL

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Soon to Seattle

I know I haven't been posting up stuff regarding skincare/clothes and stuff but I'll probably be buying tons of random stuff from the States so I should be doing a huge post on it soon. I haven't bought anything yet, if anyone has any suggestions I'd be happy to hear them, I'll probably just go to Target and find stuff that I can't buy in Canada.

**********

The funeral is tomorrow and I leave on Tuesday and I can't wait. The first few days were ok.. my mom was being psycho and shit talking about me to my aunt who was like wtf... and she told her she wanted to see her husbands dead body which we were all like WTF you have no right, so inappropriate.

My cousins all mentioned someone called dai dai, apparently its a ghost spirit that lives in my mom's body... wtf lol. Later on my aunt pulled me aside and said to me "I know a lot of people don't believe in dai dai because it sounds really retarded but you know a lot of people who "meet" dai dai will believe" I don't know man, I'm really skeptical about this lol I do believe in ghosts and spirits and stuff but this just sounds so farfetched. My mom lies and manipulates people all the time so why should I believe this?

My two cousins from Denmark arrived yesterday and my oldest cousin brought his wife and baby. His brother is really really weird, I hope in a sarcastic way or he's totally into incest... O_O LOL. He told me he hates his brothers wife but I actually think she's funny and their baby is sooo cute!!!

ADORABLE!!

All of my aunts neighbors keep bringing food over as well as my cousins friends. I can tell their family is quite loved by the community. My mom was like "wow people here are so nice, why would they bring food here? they're so nice" I was kind of like really? wtf lol I told her not to expect that when she dies because many people know her as the psychotic Chinese woman lol plus she just terrorizes people instead of being nice to them. My aunt hasn't been eating much or sleeping much, she keeps saying she's not eating because she has to watch her diabetes and that she's taking sleeping pills.

They freaking made me share a room with my mom and I was so pissed off because I don't want her touching my shit and she fucking snores so loud. I actually made a video lol I'll post it later but here's a photo of her sleeping in the car.

She wore so much padding and a fanny pack to the airport >.<

I think out of all my cousins I'm the outcast because none of my aunts talk to my mom. I have them on facebook and stuff but we don't really talk. We even witnessed my mom beating up a pomegranate yesterday. We all agreed my mom is the craziest out of all the sisters and then the one in France LOL.

She stabbed a straw into it after she beat it up to drink the juice lol

 I haven't really done much since I've been here. I think my dad fucking tricked me into going with my stupid mom. I'm going to freak out at him when I get home and be like you douchebag!!

I think if I want to see my cousins again I'd rather see them one on one than with my mom because she is too insane. Colorado is a nice state, when it sunny its quite warm. I just don't like it when its windy and things are just too spread out for me. It reminds me of Edmonton here lol because its so flat and dry. I really need to get my hair cut, the ends are soooo dry and I have so many split ends. I think I'll get a hair cut in Seattle, probably nothing fancy just a trim.

*sigh* I'm really tired and I have to shower because there are 15 people in the house and I don't want to rush tomorrow. My mom's having a weird conversation about when people die they go into their/their spouses wombs and get reborn -___-' wtf lol

Off to Seattle in two days, I can't wait :D

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Pre-Vacation Prep

Meeeoooow

Preparations are under way for my unexpected visit to the US tomorrow.

I really did not want to meet my cousins as adults this way but I am going to their father's funeral T_T it was a really unexpected tragedy and happened sudden so I want to be there at least to say hello and offer my support. But I would've preferred to have went by myself than with my mom.

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I don't think I've mentioned this before but my mom is a psychopath... lol. She doesn't think like a normal person. She's really manipulative and a compulsive liar. Plus she has gambling issues and dementia but we'll get into that later LOL (true story).

We had to get my mom a new passport to go to the funeral (in Colorado) My stupid parents don't know how to fill out the freaking form so I had to do it and it turns out my dad gave me the wrong form. Its that time of year where everyone is traveling so they decide to renew or get their passport last minute >.< so there's a huge line up.

I had to wait about 40 minutes for the pre-screening passport form line three times! because my dad gave me the wrong form. Then I got Steve to fill out the right form at home and get my mom's ID's and signature and bring it back because I didn't want to go home and then come back. You know when you sign a government document and there's a box for you to sign and there's a grey space that says "void if written in grey area" my mom had to sign that fucking paper like 10 times because she's fucking stupid and kept signing in there!

Anyways I waited in the line the second time for 40 minutes (again) and then they told me for express pick up my mom would have to be there. I was so pissed off they could've told me that the first time and when I told my mom that we'd have to go on the Tuesday to the passport office she was all pissed off "you did it wrong on purpose because you don't want me to be happy" so stupid wtf!! You think I wanted to wait 2 hours in the fucking line and waste my time on purpose just to make you unhappy? ridiculous!

Then on Tuesday we went downtown to the passport office. I told her which direction to drive and when we got close I told her to look out for a parking space. What does she do? drive as slow as possible downtown with traffic behind her and when we were supposed to stop at a red light she keeps driving and almost kills 5 people until I yelled for her to stop. It went like this:

Me: STOP STOP STOP STOP!!!!
Mom: Shut your mouth, you want me to fucking get into a car accident?
Me: You will get into a car accident if you don't fucking stop at a red light!
Mom: You don't fucking know anything

Good job Canadian Government for giving back her drivers license you really did a huge favor to the public instead of giving her a fucking memory test maybe you should've given her a standard driving test wtf.

Anyways we found a parkade downtown to park in. My mom likes to pretend that she's handicapped when she goes to the doctor and acts super retarded because she thinks the government will give her money, instead they gave her a handicapped parking thing. So we were looking for a space and then she goes "Oh there's a space" and points to the only handicapped space that can only fit a small sedan (we have a fucking venza) I told her no because the car is way too big and if she did park there it would block anyone that wants to park in the parkade or anyone that wants to leave it, then she freaked out. Bleh.

At the passport office she tried to budge the line and told the security officer "my leg hurts, I can't stand for very long" *rolls eyes* then she starts bitching to me about how I should've gotten her passport done earlier. I told her "this is the last time I'm helping you with anything" fuck.

We finally get to the counter and the guy asks me the general questions like when are your travel dates, who is this for, etc etc... I'm answering them and my mom goes "my sister just die I need go US very fast" and then I told the guy we would prefer express service if she qualifies and then my mom goes "Shut your mouth, don't fucking say anything" the guy then is like WTF because he totally understood her (she said it in chinese) lol, bipolar much?

Anyways we got everything done and on the way out of the parking lot we had to pay and then my mom freaked out because she thought it was too expensive. It was $13, its expensive because its downtown (I paid).  She freaked out at the guy and said that because the parking lot attendant was of Indian decent he purposely overcharged us... blah and then she started swearing at him and she demanded that I give her the receipt so she can sue him. DA FUCK. I am not looking forward with traveling with her.

I wished that instead of my uncle passing my mom would've went instead. But as my friend says "evil never dies"

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Well I've never been to Colorado before so it will be an interesting experience, I think I will purposely make it so I don't sit with my mom on the plane LOL.

In about 3 weeks (give or take?) I will have a real vacation to Hawaii with Ashley :D Should be interesting since I've never actually traveled anywhere with my sister lol. I was trying to lose weight for the past few months and then I abruptly got off the pill and then gained tons back, WTF!!

I really didn't expect this trip either, I feel really bad about it.

Bleh this post is really lacking any photos, I'm just going to put random photos of food up. hahaha.

 Me and my friend found this place randomly downtown.

I think its called the noodle bar? or something..

we were heading to Japadog and walked past this place and was like

"oh we haven't been there before, and there's lots of people"

This is their seafood curry noodle in soup LOL I have no idea what its called but I know it had the word seafood in it. It has fish cakes in it, 

was pretty good but I was so full already so I couldn't finish it.

 I think from now on I'm just going to order two sides because that's what my friend did.

This is eggplant with soy sauce and peanut butter sauce.

I'm not a huge fan of eggplant, this was alright but I wouldn't order it because of the eggplant lol.

Spicy wontons! so gooood

Deep fried chicken balls with sugar cane.

THESE WERE SO GOOOOOOOOD!!! lol they were surprisingly light

and they had huge flavor O_O

 so much food for two people, I thought we would share the noodles and then my friend goes

"oh yeah I forgot to tell you I hate curry" da fuck lol

 The wait staff brought him the wrong dessert lol

 Random shots of the restaurant

The front had tons of people, I guess cause lunch time was ending people started to leave

Sigh there's still much to do at home >.<

I have to:
- Do the dishes Steve sucks and won't clean

- Do the laundry

- Go to the bank

- Pack

blarghalakdsjfaowiehfawo;

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