Goodbye 2016

Everybody has been saying that 2016 has been a super shitty year.

For me, I would agree lol.

The beginning of 2016 was fine, I went to Hawaii again in February, moved out of the house away from my crazy parents, bought a car. Then Steve and I broke up in May after being in a relationship for nearly 6 years, lost basically most of our mutual friends (more about this later), got my drivers license lol after buying the car, moved back home, I got a permanent part time position at the hospital so no more random shifts as a casual, grew closer to some friends that I never expected to have and I supposedly have a random crush at work lol!

There's probably more in there somewhere but I just don't remember at this point lol.

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True Friends:

After the break up with Steve, there were some friends who I knew I would stop talking to, the question was: When?

The one that hurt me the most was Steve's friend whom he's known since high school, I actually went to his brothers wedding and was kind of close with his mom, whom is really sweet, anyway... Over the 5 years I knew this guy I was closer to him as a friend than Steve was (ironically his name is also Steve, we called him Steve 2), I helped him move (more than like 3 times!), gave him relationship advice, supported him when he was looking for work, we went out to eat numerous times just Steve 2 and I and we even shopping together when no one else would go with him. When Steve and I would fight before the official breakup he would always tell me things like "I'll never choose a side" "You'll always be my friend" but that was a big fat freakin lie lol.

When it came to the point where I chose to move back home, over the 5 years I knew him I never asked him for any kind of favour, I asked him to help me move home. I figured I helped this guy so many times over the years the least he could do was help me out this one time. But no. Steve told him some crap about me and he chose to pick a side. When he didn't reply to me I knew right away that he chose a side. He just blatantly ignored me and didn't even say anything to me afterwards. I was pretty offended. Steve doesn't even consider Steve 2 a close friend or anything.

Though, I guess I should've seen it coming. Bros before hoes right? There apparently is some "Korean Code" according to a friend of mine where they'll stick together no matter what. -___-'

At the end of the day here's what it comes down to: You shouldn't be friends with lying people, if they cheat on their partners what makes you think they won't betray you? (Steve of course not Steve 2, story on that another time)

All I can do is wish him the best, I blocked Steve 2 on instagram and on facebook and his phone number as well. There's nothing he could say to me at this point to make me think he's a good friend. Nor, is there anything that needs to be said on my end. The friendship was done the moment he chose to side with Steve and not say anything to me.

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Random Crush?

I can't remember when exactly my staff Christmas party was, I'm pretty sure it was in November. Anyway, I was the designated driver for a few coworkers of mine which sucked but I had to work the next day in the morning -__-' so I couldn't drink that much. I only had a rum and coke. Anyway, for like a month another coworker of mine and I couldn't figure out what to wear lol and were hoping to at least chat with some single guys from work lol.

One of the nurses who came to the party, rarely works at our hospital but works at a much bigger hospital most of the time, he just picks up shifts randomly. He's worked at our hospital for a long time so everybody knows him. He got SO DRUNK at this party which was hilarious but then he randomly comes up to me and my coworker and says: "So! Don't think this is weird or anything, I'm asking everybody... but, nobody brought their girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands or wives, so what's your excuse? Where's your boyfriend?" (he was directly asking me LOL) I told him I was single and he FREAKED OUT.

Later that night he questioned another coworker of mine that works at the same hospital as him now, about my current relationship status, how long I've been single for and if I'm into Asian guys LOL. Her response: "She's only dated an Asian guy for like nearly 6 years, I'm pretty sure she's done with them" lol! He didn't get her joke right away because he was so drunk.

Supposedly he has a friend who is into me... or he could be lying and talking about himself but I don't know!

When we left, I wanted to thank the nurse who invited us lab folk to the party and Allan (drunk nurse) was sitting with her. He looked so frustrated lol and he turns to me and says: "Look, I have a friend, a really stupid friend, who thinks you're nice, cute and pretty but he's too shy to ask you out!" and then he started mumbling other stuff that I couldn't really make out (there was a point in the party where he was dancing and drinking a whole bottle of wine to himself)

Anyway, there is supposedly a guy named Alfred who's into me. BUT I'VE NEVER MET AN ALFRED AT WORK BEFORE. So I don't know if he told my coworker a random name or what but I have no idea who this guy is lol, she knows a guy named Alfred that's Asian and that has worked at our hospital but we don't know if this guy even works there still or not. Alternatively, it could be 2 other guys at work. All I know is, this guy is Asian and there are 2 Asian nurses I've worked with directly one is Anthony, he's pretty cute and he seems nice but I haven't directly talked to him before lol and then there's other Alan... who is so cute! I have like the biggest crush on this guy LOL, I'm really hoping its him but I'm too shy to talk to him more... Here's the thing... he also rarely works at our hospital, he works together with other Allan at the bigger hospital... here's to hoping its him! lol! That would totally make up for last year lol.

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He's leaving...

Steve goes off to depot for a few days. I'm still pissed off at the fact that the RCMP haven't given him a freaking psychological interview, seriously. There are a few things that seem so questionable that he put into his package that would seem like a big red flag for them... excessive force in a previous job, sexual assault... yeah...

Honestly, as much as I wanted him to get a job in policing, he's simply not ready still. He's still young, I would say give him a year or two to work on some things and mature and try to become more independent. He was literally gonna get a tattoo a few days ago, he was dead set on it, he wanted to get a tattoo before depot because after he's done the RCMP have to approve whatever he gets afterwards so... he went to the tattoo shop and they put the tracing thing on him to show him what it would look like on him and he paid a deposit. I seriously know him too well, he told his parents and he didn't end up getting it. His family is super conservative of course they would freak out. So in the end, he lost his $80 deposit because mom and dad said no LOL.

I just get a really bad feeling about him becoming a police officer... based on however many years I've had this blog, I hope some of you can get an idea of what kind of guy he is... and what kind of police officer he will be when he is done depot.

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2017 Plans?

For the past few years I think I wrote, get a drivers license lol. Now that I have that I'm thinking of something simpler... I think I would like to try to run in a marathon but! I would like to have a running buddy if possible lol and NONE of my friends exercise >.<

I have to big vacations in 2017, one in April and one in December and I'm hoping to go back to Asia this year... but I don't know yet.. depends on funds and who is available to come with me lol. Or! I could go to Hawaii again LOL I really miss it there T_T

Oh ya and I'm back at school again, I'm taking prerequisites to get into the nursing program and math starts next week.... I HATE MATH SO MUCH! I really hope I pass...

Anyways, I hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Years!

Do You Believe in the Police?

I used to... not anymore.

No, I didn't do anything illegal.

I got the news last week that Steve has gotten into the RCMP. He goes to depot on Jan 9th? Around there.

Its not that I'm pissed off that he got in. I'm pissed off about the fact that he openly told them that he has sexually assaulted someone in his application package and again on the polygraph and yet they OMITTED his interview with a psychologist.

It makes me wonder who else has gotten in for doing something either similar or worse.

I'm still within the means to actually do something legally about him sexually assaulting me a few years ago and the thought has crossed my mind, but will I do it? I don't know yet.

He did the test, the MMPI, which is all True or False questions and then they just threw him into depot right away, I guess it helps when you have buddies who are in the police already, seriously. 3 buddies that he's worked with are working for the RCMP, Delta police and the Calgary police, it really makes your resume stand out. PLUS the fact that he's like the boss for the security team at the hospital.

You would think that an interview with a psychologist would at least assess the risk of him committing something like that again, especially if he is in a position of power working with potentially vulnerable people. But, he was drunk right? so its ok -__-'

There's tons of things he needs to work on but I guess that it doesn't matter, right?

There was a recent poll in Vancouver about whether or not the people trust the police or not that I read on the daily hive (Click here for the article)

Its people like him that are getting accepted into the RCMP that still have things to work on that are fucking it up for the rest of them.

I really want to move away now because it really freaks me out.

I have no faith in the police anymore honestly.
I can't take these guys seriously anymore and nor do my friends but who cares about our opinions right?

Realization and Changes

Now that its been a few weeks since Steve and I broke up, I started thinking about the things I didn't like about him and realized he was a pretty shitty boyfriend. Despite what he might think, I'm actually pretty glad I don't have to be with someone so crazy and I won't have to deal with his psychotic sister and his parents.

I think the thing that made me sad the most was that we spent so much time together when we had days off and stuff, so now that I'm single I have to find things to do, either on my own or with friends and I decided to take a few classes (indoor climbing and yoga - will start soon) I didn't realize I lost so many friends while I was dating him because they just didn't like him... I think that's the thing I regret the most.

I did make the mistake of hooking up with him after the break up (Ashley don't kill me LOL) but I think it was because we were just lonely, I hope to god I'm not knocked up... lol.

I sort of realized he made tons of excuses not to do things with me. A few years ago when he applied for the RCMP they asked him what he did to de-stress himself, he didn't really have a way to relieve his stress (besides punching shit whenever he got mad) and they didn't really like his answer so they deferred him for two years. Since then.. he didn't really make an effort to go on dates with me but he seriously made an effort to go drinking with his buddies every chance he got. His excuse was "I need to de-stress" the same excuse whenever he played video games for hours or watching tv/movies. So he really didn't make an effort to go out on dates especially when I wanted to and he really wanted me to understand that he was sooo stressed out all the time and that's why he didn't want to go out for dinner or watch movies or do any activities with me... -__-' and then he says that he felt like we were more like friends with benefits even though HE was the one that made no fucking effort to go out or do anything with me... dodged a bullet there!

Not only that he has rage issues, all my friends even talked to me about it. One time he walked into the doorknob and it hurt him and he got so angry he started punching the door... I was like "WTF ARE YOU DOING?!" and he said "I'm mad at the door" .... yeah... lol, his coworkers talked to me about it once too but he doesn't seem to think that's a problem so... I hope he fixes this before he becomes a police officer. Knowing his buddies, they will vouch for him and not say anything but that's because they really don't know him that well. He really does behave differently around them.

I do worry about him being placed in a position of power and how his family will probably manipulate him as they do now. When his dad got in trouble with the law in Korea his mom pulled some strings to get him out of it, it wouldn't surprise me if he bailed out his family members if they got in trouble here otherwise he would be "selfish" for not thinking about his family as his mom and sister would say.

At one point we talked about getting married/having kids and I was pretty worried because his family values money above anything else and its pretty sad (especially his sister) I brought it up once and said that money really isn't the most important thing and Steve said to me "I hate to break it to you, but money does cause a lot of happiness, if you can't see that then you're blind" -__-' what I mean by this is that, they have to ALWAYS have all the new toys and gadgets, the name brand clothes just to show off and pretend they're rich. Not sure if I mentioned this but when his grandma died and instead of packing and heading off the the airport right away, his mom and Steve went shopping to buy name brand clothes to impress their cousins.... because that's so important! I feel bad for his future children and the generations that will come from his sister.

As for dating again... the ladies at work want me to date one of our coworkers who is also newly single.. But I really don't want to. He's a nice guy and all but I honestly don't think we'll get along or have much in common plus, I don't really want to date somebody in the same department as me because if we broke up - things would get so weird. Anyway, I'm not really thinking of dating someone else right now at least... it'll probably be another month or so before I start even thinking of dating... Unless its this super hot nurse at work LOL I told Steve I would leave him for this nurse HAHAHAH.

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Anyway, I can't remember if I mentioned this in a previous post or not but I'm moving back home. I literally live around the corner from Steve and I really don't want to live here lol. I walk past his house all the time when I go to work and I'm just like FML. He asked me if I was going to move back home and I didn't tell him anything - he doesn't need to know.

Honestly, I'm going home just to save money, I know its going to be hell because my mom is insane. I didn't even tell my parents yet that I'm single... so I'm just going to let it be for now because I can just imagine what my mom would say "I knew he would leave you for someone else" "he left you because you're crazy" shit like that... >.<

I also don't think I mentioned that I bought a car lol so going back home would help me save so much money. I promised myself I would get girlier this summer so let's see how that goes -___-' LOL

Whore ~ lol

Holy crap I am super pissed off.

Steve's mom is such a fucking bitch and so is Steve. We went to the states this past weekend because Steve's mom wanted to steal ideas from popular American restaurants so she can recreate them at her own when she has one. I asked Steve if it was ok to go meet Ashley for a bit since I probably won't see her in the next few months since I have to go to school and he doesn't want to go visit her at Christmas because he wants to spend time with his stupid family and he said ok we can go.

We get up early (wanted to leave by 6:30AM) and she takes forever to get ready (obviously cause she's a prissy bitch) but we end up leaving at 7:30AM because she was taking her sweet ass time. We beat the line up because we went into the duty free to buy water (who knew that worked?) and we got to the premium outlet by 10AM. I thought to myself wow we're making pretty good time! We'll probably get to Ashley's by 11:30AM or 12PM. It took her 4 HOURS to buy two pairs of pants and a shirt, she also bought a Burberry jacket for like $600 but returned it because they have no money. Hmm priorities lol at least she has enough sense to return it.

Apparently his mom thought that I was just going to go Ashley's just to say hi and hang out for like 30 minutes and that we'd be on our way. Umm no, I told you the day before that I wanted to spend time with my sister because I probably won't see her till after Christmas. Then she says "ok we're going to go out for lunch for one hour and when we come back we have to go home" I was like WTF and Steve was no help either, obviously he'd side with his mom because he's whipped and can't start an argument with mom or else the apocalypse will happen if she doesn't get her way. So when we actually got to her place she wasn't fucking home, I figured something like that would happen, I didn't really expect her to sit around and wait for us.

So naturally I was pissed off that they both ganged up on me when I told them in advance that I wanted to spend more than one hour of my time with my sister and because I was pissed off Steve got pissed off and was like "don't feel that way" I'm like fuck off how am I supposed to feel? You're the one who told me that we could go see her and when your stupid dumbass mom decides to spend 4 hours shopping for nothing then that's your fault and you should pay the price instead of someone else.

How the fuck can a family be like this? I am at the end of the rope, I can't fucking handle this drama anymore. They're going to say I'm insane because I want to break up with him for being a selfish narcissist with a Oedipus complex (well its more like his mom is in love with him than he is in love with her) Plus he got a date for his polygraph test with the RCMP. They both just can't understand the term "sharing" the original plan was for her to steal ideas from other restaurants not go shopping at the outlet. Obviously I have no choice in the decisions that they make (which are dumb selfish ones). I still can't believe in the "you must obey anyone older than you" rule, times have changed and its time you learned that the world doesn't revolve around you because your "older" I could wrap my head around the idea if she was you know, more humble and sweet instead of being spoiled and selfish.

I just hope the day will come where their family runs out of money and she has to learn how to live by herself instead of relying on someone else. It bugs me that she wants to go to school and then open a restaurant right after, seems so random and someone else can use that seat int he class. she can't stand the fact that she'll have a manager if she works as a care aide. Hope that she cuts the umbilical cord off of Steve too which probably won't happen because she's a bitch and would just freak the fuck out if he ever had his own life without her.

He always says that when he becomes a cop he won't live with his mom but GET REAL she's going to fucking make up a sob story about how the family is poor and not making money and that he's the bread winner in the family and has to take care of his mom that is aging and that she can't work for a very long time or her body will hurt and that his dad's business is failing or some shit. His sister is piece of work too, miniature version of his mom only with education, its only a matter of time before she gets on their moms level.

I know if he'll eventually become an RCMP officer but he'll eventually fuck it up by helping his mom (or Koreans) out in situations where he shouldn't or his rage/temper will get the best of him and he'll do something stupid without thinking it through that could jeopardize his job. You know what his parents said to him once? Basically its ok to arrest everyone else except Korean people because "they are our kind" its like fuck you, you really want a police officer with parents who instill this type of thought in their kids? ummm no.

Talk about a shitty wife too, his mom blew like $5000 on the dog and she tells her daughter to not tell her husband and she doesn't tell him at all that she blew that much. Obviously he'd be upset, I would be too if my wife spent $5000 and DIDN'T TELL ME, not only that she told Steve the same thing. They keep SO MANY secrets from his dad if I were Korean I would tell him EVERYTHING. I feel bad for his dad, has to be married to a bitch wife and sends her money and she lies to him what she's spending it on.

RANT OVER.
I hope Karma super gets this family.

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Our Mom

I don’t think I’ve ever written a whole post about my mom. I’ve mentioned her in the past but I haven’t dedicated a full post on her.

Many of my close friends know the hatred I have for her and my dad. People that meet them for the first time always think “oh your mom is so nice, I have no idea what you are talking about” or “you’re wrong your parents are such nice people” and it always pisses me off. I mean you meet them what a few times? And you think that you already know the person? Come on seriously, you are talking to their children, people who have lived with them for a majority of their lives and people aren’t going to tell you straight up that they’re crazy.

Think of it this way a pervert isn’t going to fucking tell you they want to touch your goodies right? You shouldn’t expect a crazy person to do the same. My mom likes to manipulate people, why? Sympathy. I have no idea why she wants sympathy, I guess so she can do whatever she wants and they’ll be like “oh just let her do whatever she feels like, she’s had a hard life” -___- really? no fuck off Lol.

The other night I had some wine with Steve and his mom and she says to me “Your parents told me about when she was in a car accident and that she was in a coma for three years” WTF SERIOUSLY. That’s a big fucking lie, my mom was in a car accident that’s it, no injuries sustained only the car was damaged, that’s it. Why the hell do they have to tell people this bullshit? I would’ve told Steve that my mom had been in a coma and that would explain her craziness and he knows that, or at least I hope he does. I seriously can’t believe that Steve’s mom would believe all of her fucking lies, she’s so dumb.

I think Ashley’s mother in law used to think she was normal, at least when they first met but that quickly changed after she took her for a visit at the doctors office. I think they had planned to go have lunch or a coffee together but my mom had to go to the optometrist first.

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Ok before I go on I have to explain. My mom likes to pretend to be super retarded when she goes to the doctor. I always knew this, I think Ashley’s always known this but not other people. She will pretend not to know a word of English and pretend that we (her daughters) are her care aides, wtf. Plus for some reason she has a cane and she uses it only at the doctors, she thinks that if she has enough disabilities then the government will give her more money that she can use at the casino instead of medicine -___-' She also does this thing with her hands where she pretends she can’t open them. The doctor told us he did a x-ray and had specialists look at her hand and found nothing wrong and they couldn’t figure out why her hand couldn’t open -___-‘ wtf.

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At the end of her appointment she walked out and the office assistant says to my mom “you have to pay the bill” she looks at Ashley’s mother in law and says “me no speak English” like she wanted her to pay and she says “lily, you know English perfectly fine, pay the bill” and she responds “me no know” and starts drooling… and every second that they are there she gets more and more messed up! WTF! Now it seems they only talk when she needs a dog sitter and asks my mom to take care of him.

My parents seem to think that Ashley’s husband and his mom owe them a huge favor because she’s getting re-married and they met because of them. -____-' they’re probably going to expect money.

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Let’s begin with our childhood LOL. I swear I need my own Dr. Phil episode. Ahh memories.

I am utterly surprised that we were never taken away by the government when we were kids. I don’t know how many times I thought about running away but I always knew I wouldn’t get really far until I got caught.

Our mom used to like locking us outside when we did bad things

and not let us in until night time

(Ashley's the older one and I'm the baby... still have a big forehead... lol)

At school I never ate anything, the teachers would have to bring Ashley down from her class during lunch to watch me eat because I refused to eat. Why? Our mom would pack our lunch and what was in it usually was two pieces of bread with butter in it… or moldy sandwiches, yum. I remember confiding into my grade 1 & 2 teacher about how my parents would hit usand they just stuck me with a counselor who didn’t do shit. The good days were when our dad would cook us food, I guess he is less evil than our mom lol.

There were a few times when our mom was supposed to pick us up from school but totally forgot and after a few hours of waiting we just ended up walking home, who lets their 8 year old daughters walk home from school?

In Kindergarten I cut my stomach open on a sharp corner of a desk we had in our bedroom because I was trying to climb it lol. Instead of taking me to get stitches or proper bandages, my mom finds some napkins and tape -___-‘ wtf. When I went to school the next day I kept holding my stomach because it hurt and I didn’t want it to fall out. Eventually there came a time when they took us to the gym to let us run around and they noticed that I kept holding onto my stomach and they asked me to move my hand and this huge bloody taped up napkin fell out of my dress LOL. They freaked out but I guess they thought I did it at school, they went to put proper bandages on me, I still have a scar.

My favorite story of our childhood was when our mom got arrested at Wal-mart. She took me and Ashley “shopping” after school one night and Ashley had her backpack. We went into Wal-mart and my mom put on a pair of jeans over her pants and told us to look out and stuffed a whole bunch of shirts/sweaters into Ashley’s backpack. We walked out of the store and there was a store not that far away and my mom was like “oh, look at these sweaters” Ashley took one out to compare and two people approached us and asked her to go with them. I kept telling my mom to just give back the stuff. Eventually they took us to some interrogation room in the Wal-Mart and called the cops.

The cops came, they asked my mom some questions and then eventually they took us to the police station. I was like 8? or younger and I was so embarrassed walking out of that store with the cops and then getting into the back of their car. Then they took us to go talk to our dad which probably was really embarrassing for him too because he was working and his co-workers were probably like wtf is happening?

Then we went to the station and I think they took a photo but I remember seeing them fingerprint her. Then they let us go home. That night I remember my mom sitting on my bed when we were trying to go to sleep and she said “your mom is going to go to jail and its Ashley’s fault because she took the sweater out of the bag and they saw” and I was like what the hell? when you think about it its like WTF YOU BLAMED YOUR LITTLE CHILD ON THE ACTIONS THAT YOU DID? REALLY?! WHAT GOOD PARENTING SKILLS!

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Now our relationship with our mom is basically non-existent, I personally don’t care. I only care when she tries to manipulate Steve or my friends. I don’t bring anyone over anymore. I have one friend that’s a pretty big guy and whenever he used to come over my mom would tell me to make him move furniture around for her and I’m like fuck off, he’s not here to help you move shit, you can pay him and do it or fucking hire someone leave my fucking friends alone. Then she’ll just try to move the crap herself and then start screaming “HELP ME, OH MY GOD SO HEAVY! OW OW OW OW” and my friend knows she’s being like this on purpose so he’ll end up doing it because she’s a fucking bitch and won’t stop screaming.

Ashley doesn’t talk to our parents anymore, she’s lucky she can do that. If I were out of school and financially stable I would leave right now and never look back.

She’s still verbally abusive. She always tells people how I’m really dumb, how I’m ugly and how I’m useless and says that “____ kid is so smart and talented, you don’t know how to do anything” So I basically hate all of her friends because they always talk down to me so I have no fucking respect for them.

People always say there’s two sides to every story but I don’t really think there is an excuse for anyone to treat their children like this. If you can't love them or support them THEN DON'T HAVE THEM!

I told Steve if we got married my parents aren’t aloud to come to our wedding and he says he’s ok with it but I have a feeling his mom will object and I’ll tell him that either my mom goes and I don’t or I go and she doesn’t lol, I think it’s a pretty fair trade.

I wrote something on Facebook like last year about how my mom stole money off my table by breaking into my room and my aunt called to yell at her and what my mom did was freak out and smash dishes -___-' so I am going to assume the same would happen if anyone in my family read my blog.

There are tons of other stories, which I may or may not post we will see.

How do your parents compare to mine?

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