2017 So Far...

Its almost been a full month into the new year.

I'm finding most nights I'm staying up really really late, I go to bed at around 5 or 6AM. It really doesn't help when I have shifts at work that start at 6AM lol but I manage.

Its not that I'm preoccupied with a lot of thoughts, I'm not even thinking about Steve anymore so I'm going to rule that out, I haven't even talked to him in a long time.

Although, I've been thinking about someone else that I work with a lot lately lol. I see his name EVERYWHERE and I didn't know that it was such a common name.. even various variations of that name and yes I have a major crush on this guy LOL, the thing is I barely see him at work and rarely get to talk to him since its been so busy. Everyone keeps telling me to ask him out but I'm SO SHY! -___-' plus I don't even know if he's single or not so until I know I'm not going to do anything about it.

My best friend seems to think I'm going to end up with him, only because he does tarot cards and has said that he's popped up in my readings a lot recently, and I don't even know what to make of what he said anyway so I'll just let it all play out and see but I am keeping my options open.

But! I hope he's right! This guy is like the TOTAL OPPOSITE of Steve. He's so nice! and not cocky at all (at least not right off the bat like Steve was) their personalities are very different, I think he suits being a nurse very well, a great bedside manner and can be tough with patients who are problematic, which is why I was attracted to him while I was still dating Steve (Steve on the other hand would just treat people like he was more superior than him, which he still does)

Some of my friends have been telling me to try online dating. But I know its not for me, honestly, a majority of my friends have dated someone online and it never ends well, mainly because the guy they've been seeing is SUPER FUCKED UP in some way or my friends would go crazy and end up treating them like shit.... plus I'm not one to talk to some stranger over the internet and then meet them, I've got paranoia about that...

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We have a new girl at work that NOBODY LIKES. She's brand new and just came out of school but she's worked in a different department in the hospital for a number of years so she has racked up quite the seniority and people are worried that she'll get a full time position ahead of some people who have been working in the lab for a number of years.

She's not that bad, I mean, I'm sure I was just as bad when I first started BUT there's a difference between the two of us. When mistakes are made, she doesn't learn from them, not only that, she has a terrible bedside manner, so a lot of people get nervous when she has to poke them... we've also had numerous complaints from patients... I doubt she'll get fired, I highly highly doubt it. Maybe she'll get better? But its been a while and she hasn't gotten much better...

I also screwed up my back recently, no idea how that happened but I almost had a week and a half off of work to nurse it back to work.

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I have two long vacations coming up this year, one in April and one in December. Depending on school in December I really would like to go to Asia or something.

I've been itching to go somewhere for a while but the problem is I want someone to go with! Ashley is busy with working and school and most of my friends are broke and I've got no boyfriend to go with lol! I'll think about where I want to go in April.... if anywhere...

So far this year... is confusing LOL

Will update again at the end of next month!

Goodbye 2016

Everybody has been saying that 2016 has been a super shitty year.

For me, I would agree lol.

The beginning of 2016 was fine, I went to Hawaii again in February, moved out of the house away from my crazy parents, bought a car. Then Steve and I broke up in May after being in a relationship for nearly 6 years, lost basically most of our mutual friends (more about this later), got my drivers license lol after buying the car, moved back home, I got a permanent part time position at the hospital so no more random shifts as a casual, grew closer to some friends that I never expected to have and I supposedly have a random crush at work lol!

There's probably more in there somewhere but I just don't remember at this point lol.

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True Friends:

After the break up with Steve, there were some friends who I knew I would stop talking to, the question was: When?

The one that hurt me the most was Steve's friend whom he's known since high school, I actually went to his brothers wedding and was kind of close with his mom, whom is really sweet, anyway... Over the 5 years I knew this guy I was closer to him as a friend than Steve was (ironically his name is also Steve, we called him Steve 2), I helped him move (more than like 3 times!), gave him relationship advice, supported him when he was looking for work, we went out to eat numerous times just Steve 2 and I and we even shopping together when no one else would go with him. When Steve and I would fight before the official breakup he would always tell me things like "I'll never choose a side" "You'll always be my friend" but that was a big fat freakin lie lol.

When it came to the point where I chose to move back home, over the 5 years I knew him I never asked him for any kind of favour, I asked him to help me move home. I figured I helped this guy so many times over the years the least he could do was help me out this one time. But no. Steve told him some crap about me and he chose to pick a side. When he didn't reply to me I knew right away that he chose a side. He just blatantly ignored me and didn't even say anything to me afterwards. I was pretty offended. Steve doesn't even consider Steve 2 a close friend or anything.

Though, I guess I should've seen it coming. Bros before hoes right? There apparently is some "Korean Code" according to a friend of mine where they'll stick together no matter what. -___-'

At the end of the day here's what it comes down to: You shouldn't be friends with lying people, if they cheat on their partners what makes you think they won't betray you? (Steve of course not Steve 2, story on that another time)

All I can do is wish him the best, I blocked Steve 2 on instagram and on facebook and his phone number as well. There's nothing he could say to me at this point to make me think he's a good friend. Nor, is there anything that needs to be said on my end. The friendship was done the moment he chose to side with Steve and not say anything to me.

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Random Crush?

I can't remember when exactly my staff Christmas party was, I'm pretty sure it was in November. Anyway, I was the designated driver for a few coworkers of mine which sucked but I had to work the next day in the morning -__-' so I couldn't drink that much. I only had a rum and coke. Anyway, for like a month another coworker of mine and I couldn't figure out what to wear lol and were hoping to at least chat with some single guys from work lol.

One of the nurses who came to the party, rarely works at our hospital but works at a much bigger hospital most of the time, he just picks up shifts randomly. He's worked at our hospital for a long time so everybody knows him. He got SO DRUNK at this party which was hilarious but then he randomly comes up to me and my coworker and says: "So! Don't think this is weird or anything, I'm asking everybody... but, nobody brought their girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands or wives, so what's your excuse? Where's your boyfriend?" (he was directly asking me LOL) I told him I was single and he FREAKED OUT.

Later that night he questioned another coworker of mine that works at the same hospital as him now, about my current relationship status, how long I've been single for and if I'm into Asian guys LOL. Her response: "She's only dated an Asian guy for like nearly 6 years, I'm pretty sure she's done with them" lol! He didn't get her joke right away because he was so drunk.

Supposedly he has a friend who is into me... or he could be lying and talking about himself but I don't know!

When we left, I wanted to thank the nurse who invited us lab folk to the party and Allan (drunk nurse) was sitting with her. He looked so frustrated lol and he turns to me and says: "Look, I have a friend, a really stupid friend, who thinks you're nice, cute and pretty but he's too shy to ask you out!" and then he started mumbling other stuff that I couldn't really make out (there was a point in the party where he was dancing and drinking a whole bottle of wine to himself)

Anyway, there is supposedly a guy named Alfred who's into me. BUT I'VE NEVER MET AN ALFRED AT WORK BEFORE. So I don't know if he told my coworker a random name or what but I have no idea who this guy is lol, she knows a guy named Alfred that's Asian and that has worked at our hospital but we don't know if this guy even works there still or not. Alternatively, it could be 2 other guys at work. All I know is, this guy is Asian and there are 2 Asian nurses I've worked with directly one is Anthony, he's pretty cute and he seems nice but I haven't directly talked to him before lol and then there's other Alan... who is so cute! I have like the biggest crush on this guy LOL, I'm really hoping its him but I'm too shy to talk to him more... Here's the thing... he also rarely works at our hospital, he works together with other Allan at the bigger hospital... here's to hoping its him! lol! That would totally make up for last year lol.

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He's leaving...

Steve goes off to depot for a few days. I'm still pissed off at the fact that the RCMP haven't given him a freaking psychological interview, seriously. There are a few things that seem so questionable that he put into his package that would seem like a big red flag for them... excessive force in a previous job, sexual assault... yeah...

Honestly, as much as I wanted him to get a job in policing, he's simply not ready still. He's still young, I would say give him a year or two to work on some things and mature and try to become more independent. He was literally gonna get a tattoo a few days ago, he was dead set on it, he wanted to get a tattoo before depot because after he's done the RCMP have to approve whatever he gets afterwards so... he went to the tattoo shop and they put the tracing thing on him to show him what it would look like on him and he paid a deposit. I seriously know him too well, he told his parents and he didn't end up getting it. His family is super conservative of course they would freak out. So in the end, he lost his $80 deposit because mom and dad said no LOL.

I just get a really bad feeling about him becoming a police officer... based on however many years I've had this blog, I hope some of you can get an idea of what kind of guy he is... and what kind of police officer he will be when he is done depot.

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2017 Plans?

For the past few years I think I wrote, get a drivers license lol. Now that I have that I'm thinking of something simpler... I think I would like to try to run in a marathon but! I would like to have a running buddy if possible lol and NONE of my friends exercise >.<

I have to big vacations in 2017, one in April and one in December and I'm hoping to go back to Asia this year... but I don't know yet.. depends on funds and who is available to come with me lol. Or! I could go to Hawaii again LOL I really miss it there T_T

Oh ya and I'm back at school again, I'm taking prerequisites to get into the nursing program and math starts next week.... I HATE MATH SO MUCH! I really hope I pass...

Anyways, I hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Years!

Moving On - At Least Trying To

Alright so after the break up I went on Tinder a few times, I gotta say it isn't my cup of tea. I'm pretty stubborn on the fact that you can't rush finding someone and that I would rather meet somebody the "natural way" but I'm not really looking for anything super serious right now at least and the guys I've chatted on there don't seem like they're looking for anything serious anyway (I'm not looking for hook ups or anything like that) I chatted with a few guys and even talked about meeting up with them but I thought it was too soon for that...

Gist of it basically

How I still feel even months after the break up. Despite what some people say, 9Gag can be quite insightful sometimes LOL and these memes totally related to how I felt and still feel.

I felt so lonely for 6 years even when he was laying beside me

When most of my friends told me they didn't like him and I told him about it he got so upset about it and called them "cunts" and "bitches" and he would basically make me choose between them or him. At the time I was living with him so wtf was I supposed to do? Plus they didn't like little things he did like ask me to pay for stuff when we went to go eat out together, or call me fat and ugly in front of them... WOW why the fuck did I date him for so long? Lol I'm glad they're still here for me after all this time :) but according to him "it's just a fucking joke"

And so, he basically isolated me most of the time and I didn't realize it until we broke up. When I hung out with friends he would always keep tabs on me and shit and soon enough I just had a handful of friends I could count on but that was dwindling as well... Things definitely changed when I went to work and made new friends. I guess because he didn't know them he couldn't keep tabs on me in a way, but would constantly offer to pick me up/drop me off even though I live close by but the thing is - I wasn't doing anything shady, I was upfront and honest but I guess I couldn't say the same for him.

And yes he did break up with me for another girl as I mentioned before in the previous post and he's chasing after her. Although, friends who work with him have told me she has a "friends with benefits" relationship with some other guy but otherwise, if he wasn't around Steve and her would hook up, they first told me she wasn't interested but apparently that changed. Most girls like the chase, it gives them confidence knowing that some guy likes them, so I think she'll give in eventually if she hasn't already, it sort of happened to a friend of mine. She wasn't looking to date this guy and was creeped out by him, eventually she agreed to go on a date with him to get it over with and tell him no but then she ended up dating him for like 5 years LOL.

I have no idea wtf he's been telling her, but apparently he told her that I think he broke up with me because Steve and her were dating. Which I KNOW is not true. Because he barely had the time to do things for his parents let alone have time to secretly date someone else. So I'm like 100% sure he's told her other shit about either himself or me that is not true at all. Our mutual friend told me that he's been saying weird things to "match" her so it seems like they're compatible so our friend is like ... wtf, she said its hilarious and awkward because he's trying too hard and it makes some situations awkward.

Even now we hang out and still talk here and there but he's keeping it secret from all his co-workers because he's scared that they'll tell her and she'll lose interest or something. I told him - "what's the point in being friends still if you want to keep it a secret? Its obvious you don't want to be friends then"

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I randomly decided to give Tinder another go.. a lot of my friends have been meeting really nice guys lately... so why not? I'm actually talking to somebody right now (His name is Danny). We've been talking non-stop for almost a week now, we haven't met up yet and I don't really plan on doing it any time soon... He seems like a nice guy, a little weird which isn't always a bad thing LOL (doesn't eat veggies... that's weird to me but works out like crazy lol) The ironic thing is... he plays roller hockey... in the same league that Steve plays in... in the same division..

A friend of mine who does tarot card readings (quite accurately most of the time) told me, the next guy I meet, if Steve and him run into each other, they're going to fight... and at the time I didn't meet Danny so I was like, there's no way that they'll meet but then after a while we were talking and then it suddenly clicked. I don't even know if I'm going to date him or not so we'll have to wait and see.

Plus many months ago he told me I'd get with a guy who was a student who was also a professional? Not sure how that works but I found out that he is a student, not really sure what he is studying (I didn't feel like grilling him at the moment)

We shall see how this progresses.... I'll have to meet Danny in person to see how we click.

No More Drama Please...

The other day, I found out that Steve's been hanging out with this girl that works at the same hospital as him, like a lot and on a one on one basis.

Maybe I'm crazy but it occurred to me that he probably dumped me because of her. When we went to Hawaii back in July he made it his mission to find her some spam, teriyaki spam or something. We went to like 5 ABC store's (the popular convenience store there besides 7-eleven) but couldn't find it.

The second time we went to Hawaii he made sure he would come home with spam for her so we literally drove 15-20 minutes out of our way and went to the walmart, just to buy her spam - nothing else. He didn't buy anything else for his friends, he bought coffee for his coworkers but that's it. Nothing for his "close friends" but he just had to buy spam for this girl. Then a few weeks before we broke up he was helping her plan a trip to Korea with her friends (which btw I didn't have an issue with, he seems to think I went on a jealous tirade - I just said "you're the wrong person to plan the trip with since you just wanted to watch tv the whole time") and soon when she came back from her trip he broke up with me and started hanging out with her outside of work.

Even though we broke up, we would message each other here and there and we would have small chats and he would give me driving lessons too. When I tried to coordinate driving practice with him he would tell me, on many occasions, "I'm going to go see a movie with the hospital crew tonight" or "I'm going to a dinner thing with the hospital crew tonight at ___ time so I have to be home by ____" This went on a lot early post break up, up until now. But, it turns out he wasn't hanging out with his coworkers, he was having dinner with her, or going to see movies with her.

It was confirmed when a friend of his saw him at metrotown mall with her shopping/watching a movie and he told me.

and with that, I was SUPER PISSED OFF.

Months before we broke up, I would ask him "let's go see this movie" or "let's go out to dinner" or "let's go bowling" basically any activity I would ask him to do he would say things like "I'm broke we can't go" or "I'm tired I don't want to go" things along those lines. But then suddenly when he's single he suddenly had money to burn? I had to pay for EVERYTHING whenever we went out, that was the only way I could get him to go out with me his excuse for that was "you make more than me"

His friend said to me when I told them why I was pissed off "WTF, he works tons of overtime, how is it that he had no money suddenly?"

So I was super pissed off that he would make excuses not to hang out with his girlfriend at the time and then suddenly he's no longer broke and he's out there spending time/money with her trying to impress her and he also bought a new car to impress her too, he keeps telling people "I was interested in getting a hybrid" that kind of thing but even if he didn't split the car payment with his dad it would still save him tons of money -__-'

Anyway the point of this is he didn't bother to work on our relationship.

He was set on breaking up with me months beforehand and that's why he didn't tell me about his feelings and pushed me away on purpose, and didn't want to spend any time with me.

He strung me along for months because he knew that I would spend money on shit for him because I knew he was broke and he waited until he felt that it was the right time.

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I know who this girl is of course since the security guards know her and stuff. I decided I would tell Steve my feelings. I told him that it made sense now - all the things he said to me when he broke up with me "you can find a better guy that will treat you better" and how easy it was for him to say those things and remain emotionless as he told me all these things. Because he had already found someone else he was interested in.

I also told him that I knew about the girl and how pissed off I was that he made excuses not to go out with me because of time/money/energy but would go out of his way to hang out with her. He wanted a "good break up" just in case things didn't work out with her and he would try to get back together with me.

He said that their relationship is like my relationship with my best friend. Which pissed me off. We've been best friends for over 10 years, we know each others secrets and everything. I DIDN'T NEED TO LIE OR HIDE when I was hanging out with him (he's gay, so there was no jealousy there) not only that how are you guys such good friends if you guys NEVER hung out outside of work on a one on one or even with a group while we were dating?

but what pissed me off the most was that he would still lie to me post break up about hanging out with her. Its like ok, you're single, you're free to hang out with anyone you want. If you're gonna go hang out with a girl go ahead but don't lie to me and say that you're hanging out with your friends/coworkers because why are you trying to hide it? Its seriously obvious you're into this girl just say the truth.

I told him don't bother replying because I'm not gonna hear his excuse and blocked him on Kakaotalk right away. That was like a day ago lol.

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What I wrote after he sent me some email

So then this evening.. halfway through my shift I get an email from him with the title "read this plz." goddamn he still writes like a 14 year old on MSN messenger lol. Here is my reply:

"This doesn't matter anymore.

I did not bother reading your email because there is nothing left more to say.

Please don't contact me again."

Anyway, he wrote a really long email, it was basically an essay and.. he's done this in the past. He would just make it seem like everything was my fault, I do own up to my faults, everybody has them but he honestly blamed the whole break up shit all on me. EVERYTHING according to him was MY fault.

Even when he cheated on me he would say that I had trust issues and shit (WELL NO SHIT) he never tried to mend it or even acknowledge what he did was wrong essentially he thought just because we didn't break up he didn't do anything wrong. He basically thought forgive and forget. So of course to this day I still have trust issues with him and with that....

I didn't read it.

I'm not going to read his essay on our relationship, I was there too, I lived it and we went through this before, I don't want the drama, I don't want to hear the lies and the blame going all on me. There's no reason to bring up reasons why you wanted to break up. It doesn't excuse someone who claims to still care about you to keep lying to you. That's how I see it because we're done, why are you still lying?

So I didn't want to write out a long explanation on why I didn't read it, I just put it as blunt and concise as possible.

I just wanted to make it clear that it doesn't matter what he says, there's really no reason for us to talk anymore because what's said has been said and that I don't want to talk/see him again.

I don't think he's crazy enough to show up at my place and want to talk..

Realization and Changes

Now that its been a few weeks since Steve and I broke up, I started thinking about the things I didn't like about him and realized he was a pretty shitty boyfriend. Despite what he might think, I'm actually pretty glad I don't have to be with someone so crazy and I won't have to deal with his psychotic sister and his parents.

I think the thing that made me sad the most was that we spent so much time together when we had days off and stuff, so now that I'm single I have to find things to do, either on my own or with friends and I decided to take a few classes (indoor climbing and yoga - will start soon) I didn't realize I lost so many friends while I was dating him because they just didn't like him... I think that's the thing I regret the most.

I did make the mistake of hooking up with him after the break up (Ashley don't kill me LOL) but I think it was because we were just lonely, I hope to god I'm not knocked up... lol.

I sort of realized he made tons of excuses not to do things with me. A few years ago when he applied for the RCMP they asked him what he did to de-stress himself, he didn't really have a way to relieve his stress (besides punching shit whenever he got mad) and they didn't really like his answer so they deferred him for two years. Since then.. he didn't really make an effort to go on dates with me but he seriously made an effort to go drinking with his buddies every chance he got. His excuse was "I need to de-stress" the same excuse whenever he played video games for hours or watching tv/movies. So he really didn't make an effort to go out on dates especially when I wanted to and he really wanted me to understand that he was sooo stressed out all the time and that's why he didn't want to go out for dinner or watch movies or do any activities with me... -__-' and then he says that he felt like we were more like friends with benefits even though HE was the one that made no fucking effort to go out or do anything with me... dodged a bullet there!

Not only that he has rage issues, all my friends even talked to me about it. One time he walked into the doorknob and it hurt him and he got so angry he started punching the door... I was like "WTF ARE YOU DOING?!" and he said "I'm mad at the door" .... yeah... lol, his coworkers talked to me about it once too but he doesn't seem to think that's a problem so... I hope he fixes this before he becomes a police officer. Knowing his buddies, they will vouch for him and not say anything but that's because they really don't know him that well. He really does behave differently around them.

I do worry about him being placed in a position of power and how his family will probably manipulate him as they do now. When his dad got in trouble with the law in Korea his mom pulled some strings to get him out of it, it wouldn't surprise me if he bailed out his family members if they got in trouble here otherwise he would be "selfish" for not thinking about his family as his mom and sister would say.

At one point we talked about getting married/having kids and I was pretty worried because his family values money above anything else and its pretty sad (especially his sister) I brought it up once and said that money really isn't the most important thing and Steve said to me "I hate to break it to you, but money does cause a lot of happiness, if you can't see that then you're blind" -__-' what I mean by this is that, they have to ALWAYS have all the new toys and gadgets, the name brand clothes just to show off and pretend they're rich. Not sure if I mentioned this but when his grandma died and instead of packing and heading off the the airport right away, his mom and Steve went shopping to buy name brand clothes to impress their cousins.... because that's so important! I feel bad for his future children and the generations that will come from his sister.

As for dating again... the ladies at work want me to date one of our coworkers who is also newly single.. But I really don't want to. He's a nice guy and all but I honestly don't think we'll get along or have much in common plus, I don't really want to date somebody in the same department as me because if we broke up - things would get so weird. Anyway, I'm not really thinking of dating someone else right now at least... it'll probably be another month or so before I start even thinking of dating... Unless its this super hot nurse at work LOL I told Steve I would leave him for this nurse HAHAHAH.

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Anyway, I can't remember if I mentioned this in a previous post or not but I'm moving back home. I literally live around the corner from Steve and I really don't want to live here lol. I walk past his house all the time when I go to work and I'm just like FML. He asked me if I was going to move back home and I didn't tell him anything - he doesn't need to know.

Honestly, I'm going home just to save money, I know its going to be hell because my mom is insane. I didn't even tell my parents yet that I'm single... so I'm just going to let it be for now because I can just imagine what my mom would say "I knew he would leave you for someone else" "he left you because you're crazy" shit like that... >.<

I also don't think I mentioned that I bought a car lol so going back home would help me save so much money. I promised myself I would get girlier this summer so let's see how that goes -___-' LOL

Broken Up

Not the feeling the best at the moment, but I'm writing this post anyway... One day I'll probably look back and regret writing this LOL but I'll just have to deal with it for now.

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What Happened

So Steve and I dated for almost 6 years.

He broke up with me a few days ago, said that he couldn't see me getting along with his sister, which is true but - its not like I tried to resolve things and he didn't to help any of that, his reason? "I just don't like conflict" is what he said and that just pissed me off so much because those are obviously things that we could have resolved and we could have been on good terms but her not even trying didn't help either.

The main part was, he just lost feelings for me. Thought of me more as a friend than a girlfriend. He said the past few months it felt more like a friends with benefits relationship more than anything else and that he doesn't want to start a marriage with that kind of feeling.

Thing is he never mentioned ANY of it to me and that's one of the things that bugs me so much. Why didn't he? He should have said something right when he started feeling this way. But, I think its what he wanted anyway. I think he wanted to wait till he barely had any feelings left and then break things off.

When he told me all these things he was so expressionless and machine like. He honestly looked like he didn't care. He said that its hard for him too but I don't really believe him at all. Its just a feeling I get.

He kept saying things like "I haven't treated you very well, you deserve a guy that treats you well and makes you happy" A lot of my friends suspect he was interested in someone else and I do think he is interested in someone else... I have a few suspicions, He says he's not interested in someone.. but... he's the kind of guy that doesn't let feelings get to him so I'm sure he'll be trying to move in on someone else quickly.

I told him I don't even want another guy, We both like the same things and have the same hobbies. Now I can't see any of his friends/co-workers anymore even though I liked hanging out with them. I don't think I can find a guy like him again but who knows maybe I will.

He said we met when we were young and now that we're older we're much different people and he just doesn't feel the same way anymore. Which makes it hurt so much more because I don't feel like that with him.

I thought to myself a while back "we're kind of lucky that we were together for so long and I still love him so much" but that's what I thought and still feel, but I wasn't ever in his thoughts.

 I guess it was inevitable anyway, because I look back on the posts I wrote about him and his family and it wasn't the greatest history but since then, things have gotten better with his parents at least. His sister on the other hand - I feel like she seriously lacks some part human emotion so she just seems so... robotic in a way?

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What I Wanted This Summer

Well, I wanted our families to hang out more for one which he didn't know about and make some kind of amendment with his sister. He told me last year before his dad came that he wanted to spend the year hanging out with him and his family so they could get closer, since his dad hasn't lived with them in like 12 years or something. So I gave him the space, he said he regrets that.

I also had tons of plans this summer for us to do things but... they're not gonna happen anymore.

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How we Met

Back when Future Shop existed in North Vancouver and it was my first day. I remember meeting him. I was immediately drawn to him and knew I wanted to date him. He was my first real boyfriend (which makes it worse I guess) and I was like wow! this is the first time a guy I like likes me back!

Eventually, he started reciprocating his feelings back to me, back in the night market. We went with a group of friends but split up, just the two of us and basically just held hands there lol, its childish I know but we were young. 

Eventually what it took was me going out with one of our co-workers that basically brought us together. I went on one date with the other guy and the next day at work, Steve came in and sat down in my department. I asked him "do you like me or something?" and he responded "Do you like me?!" lol and I said "yeah, you're alright" and he was like "alright we're dating then" LOL and then we went on our first date that night.

Then since that summer we were basically inseparable. Things of course changed when his mom came back for a little while and told him he had to move out of the place they owned and he moved down to an apartment by himself on 4th st, then I basically moved in with him lol. Spent every night there with him, only going home when his mom/sister came to visit.

Then he quit going to school and his parents didn't want to pay for the apartment anymore and he couldn't afford it so my parents thought it would be a good idea to take him in. So he moved into our house, for a few years. His mom came eventually and had to study to get a job here which made things between us obviously start dissolving.

When his sister finished school and came back to Vancouver, they moved out. Then we had that huge fight last year and our whole relationship hasn't been the same since.

**********

What Hurts the Most

I seriously was ready to settle down with him. Since he told me he wanted to break up I haven't really eaten that much (no appetite for some reason, I try to but I'll have a few bites of something and just quit) I haven't slept much (just a few hours a night) and I've been randomly crying.

I went to work 2 days after the break up and just burst into tears in the lunch room and would tear up in the hallways when I was alone. It was fine when it was busy but when things in the Emergency Room would quiet down and I would be alone in the mini lab, he would creep into my mind and I would think about him and start crying. I would say all the staff knew how much he meant to me because I spoke about him all the time. When the staff asked me about my puffy eyes I told some of the nurses I yawned or had allergies. But I thought it would be a good idea to take some days off.

Now - I know its still the beginning of the break up but.. whenever I close my eyes before I try to sleep I see his face and wish he was beside me. 

I think about him all day long and wonder what he's doing and I can't just call him up randomly and be like "what's up?" because that makes it so much harder, hearing his voice and then I start tearing up again.

Night time is especially worse, just because its much quieter and there's less distractions and I wish he was here so I could hug him or touch his face or something. 

But that's not realistic anymore.

With the little amount of sleep I do manage to get, I dream about us going out and doing things together and just hanging out and then I wake up and face the reality of him not being there for me anymore.

I asked if we could try again... but he said his gut feeling tells him that its not going to work, even if its for a few more months his feelings wouldn't change and he doesn't want to waste time for either of us and if he regrets it later on, he said he'll just have to live with it forever :(

He says he would still like to be friends. Which I know in my heart will not work out.

I wonder if I will love the next guy I date as much... I'm not sure... and at this moment it wouldn't be fair to the next guy either so we'll just have to wait and see.

Steve's Psycho Sister

HOLY FUCK

Never in my life have I ever been talked to the way Steve's sister has to me tonight.

She just went off on me for no fucking reason like in the most disrespectful, cocky way EVER. I seriously feel like I was being talked to by a 14 year old girl.

I always gave her the benefit of the doubt whenever my friends would tell me that they think that she's a bitch (I thought well, they don't really hang out with her so they don't really know her) but they totally proved me wrong tonight.

**********

Steve and I went to the Auto Show in Vancouver earlier (honestly the first real date we've had a in a long time) and afterwards we went out to dinner with our friends and went back to Steve's house. Steve was too tired to drop me off at my house (he worked the morning shift 7AM - 3PM) So we went back to his place.

 Best ramen I've had in a long long time and some macarons

Japanese Parfait

It was a great date, we haven't been out in so long so it was nice to go out and just hang out with our friends.

Then we went to his place and we tried settle in and then his sister just starts freaking out in Korean at Steve, I got no idea wtf is going on. Then she comes into his room and looks at me and says to me in the most cocky/bitch voice I've ever heard and says to me:

"Amanda let me ask you something, like, why are you here? and Don't say its because Steve wants you here"

I'm kind of like wtf? never been a problem before so why the hell is this coming up now? and Steve does want me here so what am I supposed to say? I didn't know they had such a problem with it cause they never said anything. So I was pretty taken aback so I said "So?" LOL like wtf am I supposed to say? It totally caught me off guard.

They're all pissed off that I come over to hang out/sleep with Steve and I don't pay their fucking rent and that I don't say Hi to his mom or sister when I come over (I'll say Hi if they're not sleeping or not doing something so wtf) Anyway here is how the conversation went:

Sister: Amanda let me ask you something, like, why are you here? And don't say its because Steve wants you here

Me: So?

Sister: Don't just say so, why are you here? you're here like every day --> (I'm not though lol)

Me: Does that really matter?

Sister: Yes it does, You come here and do nothing

Me: Well when Steve needs help I come over to help him

Sister: Well that's great you're a good girlfriend but that doesn't explain why you're here and by the way I'd appreciate it if you would stop calling my dog, dog, she has a name, its Monet.

Me: She's a freaking dog! (lol IS THIS REALLY THE ISSUE? - She doesn't even take care of the dog, she only puts food in the damn bowl and doesn't even walk her or anything. Hell I walk that dog more than she does)

Me: I only come here when Steve wants me to help him with something

Sister: Well it'd be nice if you would come in and say hi to me or my mom, its his mother have some respect.

Me: I don't want to interrupt you guys when you're doing something

Sister: Don't you have any manners? (Hypocrite)

Me: I do, obviously you're the one that doesn't have any

Then I got really pissed off when she started saying that I have no manners when she's the one that came into his room and just started saying it the way she did. Had she actually came in with a polite tone and was just like "hey just to let you know, we'd appreciate it if you would stay home more often" instead of going the route that she went, I would've been more understanding.

Fucking hell anyway, I ended up calling her a bitch and a cunt LOL but she was definitely acting like one so yeah.

So! His sister - I've never really written a full on long post on her. So let's talk about it:

His sister went to McGill University in Montreal and when I told my friend a long time ago when I first started dating Steve about him he asked me if his sister was Lucifer (name changed, but its actually close to her real name lol) I said yes, he said "oh I don't like her, I used to tutor them in english when they first came to Canada and she was a bitch" I thought to myself well she was like 10 or something when they met and its been like 8/9 years, people can change within that time but boy did he prove me wrong!

Fast forward to now, Obviously things didn't change and she didn't mature. She speaks in the most condescending way, a lot even to waitresses and my friends. I'm actually surprised she has a boyfriend (not surprised she doesn't have many friends) but then again she's only using him to get expensive gifts, when I asked her if she thinks they'll get married she said no. So I was kind of like why string him along then? Just cause you want expensive gifts? Cut him loose so he can go and find a nice girl he can go and settle down with. I really don't get where she gets this cocky/arrogant attitude from (probably his mom)

I hung out with Steve and two of my friends at the Lonsdale Quay once and she wanted to be driven home, so she came to meet us there and the moment she came and started talking they hated her LOL cause she was so arrogant and rude. If her home life translated to her work life she would be fired so fast, unless her boss is a douche too lol.

Anyway she's one of those self entitled princess types, whatever she wants she basically gets, she's always been daddy's girl. Whenever she posts things on Instagram its always prissy things and she doesn't really live well within her means, spends money on useless crap just so she can look rich. I really hope she gets some bad karma for being the way she is.

Its funny how people think that if they go to church it makes them a good person and therefore they can treat everyone else like crap.

**********

Well I asked Steve to drop me off cause I didn't want to deal with that bullshit but then later on he came to pick me up so we could talk. We went to Mcdonalds and asked me what my expectations were from his family, honestly? I don't have any lol I don't expect them to do anything for me but of course they have expectations from me.

What are my expectations in a relationship though? I don't really care for family economics to me marriage isn't "the joining of 2 families" as Steve's mom thinks it is. To me its the joining of two life partners who want to be happy and want to experience life together. In his family they really emphasize old fashion ideals above love and happiness.

So where is this relationship going? Well, we'll just have to see tomorrow shall we?

Desperation

Its been a while since I talked about Steve's family, I think... lol I haven't really read my blog posts in a while.

**********

Round 1

The past few months especially have been the weirdest. Steve's mom wanted to buy a house a few months ago, she freaked out because she thinks that its the only time she can get a house so she's been desperate trying to buy one in North Van.

When she was told that she can't get one because she doesn't make enough income she asked Steve's sister and him to be co-signers for the mortgage, it still wasn't enough and it didn't get approved.

So since it wasn't approved she is forcing them to move out of their current apartment, why? We don't really know why LOL we were like yeah you couldn't get a house - but it doesn't mean you have to move... its kind of illogical and an inconvenience for everyone that you live with.

They should really stop letting his mom make decisions for their family. She's too impulsive and she doesn't really think ahead about how it affects other people.

I'm kind of worried about Steve co-signing a mortgage with his mom and sister (I'm not the only one) because I kinda had a goal to get a place for us within like 5 years (like a townhouse or an apartment) but him co-signing a 15 year mortgage with 2 other people would be difficult for us to get a place one day.

**********

Round 2

We thought since they didn't get approved his mom would stop looking at houses and actually look for a place to rent but nope!

The house they went to look at most recently is actually near my house and its a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom place and its a fixer upper (unfinished basement, roof needs replacing, flooring needs to be replaced), they want to renovate it and then sell it within 2 years.

They went and put an offer on that house and its about $679,000 for the house and the offer they put it was about $630,000? something like that and the owner of the house is refusing the offer because I guess they think the house is worth more? (its not lol) so they said $670,000 take it or leave it.

**********

Final Round

So here is where it gets fucked up for me and my family. Instead of looking for a place to move into next month they were just looking at houses, why? Priorities? lol its like yeah you can put an offer on a house but you won't always be able to move into it right away. So Steve's mom wants to come back and live at our house (for 2-3 months) and the only person she asked was my mom. She didn't ask what me or my dad wants and the thing is our mom doesn't make household decisions like that.

Of course she would ask my mom because they get along and she knew my mom would say yes. I told Steve that NO WAY that I will let that happen it was just absolute hell when she lived here, the suite they used to live in isn't even available for them to rent so the only option is the tiny little room near the garage and it really isn't big enough for 2 people and a dog.

So I talked to Steve about how its definitely not going to work, I explained to him how last time his mom lived here the utility bills were so high and I said it wouldn't matter if she paid for it this time around because she's just too loud and inconsiderate and then adding his sister and the dog? its just not going to work. It'll work out for her but it'll stress the shit out of everyone else in the house.

I go on practicum soon and I don't want to be woken up at 5AM because she decided to call someone in Korea and put them on speaker phone so everyone can hear or us hearing her argue with his sister or Steve. Or hear Monet excessively barking.

Its just not going to work plain and simple, I explained it to him and he told his mom that it isn't going to work, her reaction? SUPER PISSED OFF she absolutely hates my dad even though I told Steve that it was mostly my decision. But you know, she should have said something months ago instead of last minute like she always does.

At the end of the day its like if she's making all these decisions for her family, why is it that she has to drag my family into it? I mean its not like me and Steve are fully committed (no ring on ma finger! lol) I'd probably be a little more ok with it if that were the case (probably not though LOL) and if our roles were reversed his mom would not help us in any way.

Plus it'd be beneficial for Steve to live away from his mom and sister. I don't know why they are so dependent on him... laziness? Probably.

At this point his mom is on her own agenda and because we're not doing what she wants, she's super pissed off and its time she deals with her problems like an adult. 

*UPDATE BONUS ROUND*

I knew Steve would pussy out about living in our house. His mom won't let him move out for the next 2-5 years because he has to help pay for the mortgage because they finally got a place in North Van (its a town house in East North Van)

All his friends are even like "WTF why are you getting a mortgage with your mom? Don't get one!" his answer? "I have no choice" ... REALLY! YOU CAN SAY NO, fucking idiot! he's too scared of his mom.

So if we got married and etc, then its really up to me to deal with the big expenses (like buying a property, etc) but he won't be allowed to live with me unless he is contributing to mortgage/rent cause wtf, really!

Steve's Sisters BF

So earlier in the summer I finally met Steve's sister's boyfriend.

Steve's mom told me she absolutely hates him lol and that she's worried that she'd marry him because he didn't finish his education so he could help out at his mom's restaurant. Its not that she hates him as a person its that she wants to know he will have a more stable career in the future.

Which is understandable I guess but she could try to like him? I automatically felt bad for this dude because I never met him, and I've been in his shoes (maybe I still am in his shoes) where his mom wants them to break up lol.

His family owns a Korean restaurant and its pretty popular according to Steve's sister so his family is pretty wealthy and I guess he wants to expand on that in the future but who knows.

So he went to Korea in the summer and on the way back he had a layover in Vancouver for 12 hours and we all decided to have lunch together and Steve's sister was going to spend the rest of the day with him showing the city and going out to eat and etc.

When I first saw him right off the bat my gaydar went off LOL. He had feminine features but I guess its a common trait most FOB Korean guys have lol. Let's just say he likes to dress well - jewellery on both hands (rings and bracelets and watches), pierced ears, and interesting clothing choices. Let's just say, he enjoys the finer things in life. He gave Steve a limited edition Lacoste T-shirt that was like $300 apparently and some other expensive crap lol (buying friendship? Maybe, he is trying to impress her older brother lol) But I think you get the picture on what type of clothes he likes (hint: expensive)

So I gave him the benefit of the doubt when I first met him. Automatically when he came he SUCKED UP real hard to Steve's mom and to Steve but when it came to me, he absolutely didn't even bother trying to talk to me or anything. It was my first time meeting him so I asked him:
"how was your flight?" - Ignored
"Are you tired from your trip?" Ignored
"What do you want to see in Vancouver?" -Ignored

So I was like fuck this shit. Automatically I hated him and I still do well maybe not hate, I just dislike him a lot lol. I get that you're trying to impress Steve's family and shit but you know you don't have to be a fucking asshole lol.

What really sealed the deal was when we dropped him off at the airport, Steve's mom didn't come with us since she had to go to work but he hugged Steve's sister good bye, shook Steve's hand and didn't say a word to me or anything, no wave - just nothing. Maybe he's got a problem with non-Korean people? but who knows. First impressions are pretty important in my book and well he just isn't worth knowing now.

I learned nothing about this guy except a few things: likes to kiss ass, rude, cares about money and status, might be gay. Me and Steve had a good laugh when I told him that I thought he was gay at first, I said "maybe he's one of those guys who marries a woman but then comes out of the closet like 30 years down the road, don't be surprised if it happens" he agreed LOL

But I didn't really tell him about what I really thought about this guy and I really could've influenced his relationship with Steve and Steve's mom in a beneficial way but I'm going to tell Steve what I really think about him.

I already get the impression from Steve that he doesn't like this guy so I guess it won't really change much anyways.

Money and Relationships

I wish Steve was more aware of what he does and says around people instead of blaming them when I point out some of his issues.

We went out for dinner last night with my good friend and her boyfriend from college at a Chinese restaurant. We went to the bank beforehand because I told him "Its a Chinese restaurant its probably cash only, you should take out some cash" and he says to me "Why would they have cash only? Most places accept debit/credit so I'm not taking out cash" so in my head I was like this is going to be complicated later.

Generally when I go out with my friends I like to take out cash if its an Asian restaurant (for some reason most of them here accept cash only) and its better to pay in cash if its a group of people because its easier to figure out who paid for what.

Anyways, we ordered a few dishes to share amongst ourselves and when the bill came it was $60 including tip it was about $66 so I put down $20, my friend and her boyfriend put down $40 and Steve just sat there and was like "do they accept debit/credit?" I was like "seriously? this is why you take out cash" and then he asks "Does this place accept American dollars?" >.< !!!!!!!!!!! yes because most family run restaurants accept foreign currency ...

So my friend and her boyfriend ended up having to pay the difference because I only took out $20 and put down all the change I could and we all left awkwardly. I did scold him in the car on the way home he said he'll pay the whole thing next time but I doubt he will and then he got SUPER defensive and said "if she would just check her phone when you asked if it was cash only we wouldn't have this problem!!" even so I wish he would just take responsibility or even thank them for the meal but that wasn't the only issue.

At some point in the dinner he said "I can hit my girlfriend whenever I want (he doesn't) but I choose not to" and we were all like silent and awkward because he wants to be a police officer and its something you probably don't want to say out loud in a public place, even if it was a joke. When I brought this up today he said "they're just closed minded" -___-'

Financially this isn't the first time something like this has happened with the same friend. We went out for dim sum once and the bill was $50 my friend only had a $50 bill and didn't want to use her credit card. I gave my friend $20 and Steve took the $50 and paid with his credit card, the whole amount so basically he didn't pay for any of the food and she was like wtf and said that she's never seen him pay for anything.

Most of the time when we go out with his friends one of his friends pays for him because he says he's totally broke, which isn't the case. He's just saving money for stupid shit LOL. I talked to his friend about that today and he said that he knows that he has no money and one day he'll pay him back -__-' does he really think that his girlfriend who lives with him doesn't know him at all? Then he said "the person who is most financially stable should pay" -___-' !!!!!!! Ok I must be dealing with really inconsiderate people. Even if you make more money doesn't mean you should pay for people who  make less money than you... if you choose to go out you should pay for yourself, its not the responsibility of others!

Argh its just giving me a headache and I know that when Steve gets home he's going to rage and break something and he'll blame it on others instead of taking responsibility. A lot of people don't like his cocky attitude (I can't blame them)

Don't get me wrong I like that he's confident (most of the time) but when he's around certain people it just triggers his douchebag side. The problem is talking to him about certain issues because he doesn't like to talk about serious topics.

So tell me, how would you go about this issue?

Poop.

*update* Now that I think more about it I wish my friend would have handled this situation better than she did. I mean she could have said something then and there (he did ask if there was an atm but they said nothing) instead of staring at him all awkwardly or even given us a heads up on this place being cash only since we've never been to this place before. I'm not sure what I want to do but Steve is still oblivious to people's feelings and he should town down his cocky attitude when its someone sensitive. So far its ended on bad terms since neither of them want to see each other ever again :(

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Whore ~ lol

Holy crap I am super pissed off.

Steve's mom is such a fucking bitch and so is Steve. We went to the states this past weekend because Steve's mom wanted to steal ideas from popular American restaurants so she can recreate them at her own when she has one. I asked Steve if it was ok to go meet Ashley for a bit since I probably won't see her in the next few months since I have to go to school and he doesn't want to go visit her at Christmas because he wants to spend time with his stupid family and he said ok we can go.

We get up early (wanted to leave by 6:30AM) and she takes forever to get ready (obviously cause she's a prissy bitch) but we end up leaving at 7:30AM because she was taking her sweet ass time. We beat the line up because we went into the duty free to buy water (who knew that worked?) and we got to the premium outlet by 10AM. I thought to myself wow we're making pretty good time! We'll probably get to Ashley's by 11:30AM or 12PM. It took her 4 HOURS to buy two pairs of pants and a shirt, she also bought a Burberry jacket for like $600 but returned it because they have no money. Hmm priorities lol at least she has enough sense to return it.

Apparently his mom thought that I was just going to go Ashley's just to say hi and hang out for like 30 minutes and that we'd be on our way. Umm no, I told you the day before that I wanted to spend time with my sister because I probably won't see her till after Christmas. Then she says "ok we're going to go out for lunch for one hour and when we come back we have to go home" I was like WTF and Steve was no help either, obviously he'd side with his mom because he's whipped and can't start an argument with mom or else the apocalypse will happen if she doesn't get her way. So when we actually got to her place she wasn't fucking home, I figured something like that would happen, I didn't really expect her to sit around and wait for us.

So naturally I was pissed off that they both ganged up on me when I told them in advance that I wanted to spend more than one hour of my time with my sister and because I was pissed off Steve got pissed off and was like "don't feel that way" I'm like fuck off how am I supposed to feel? You're the one who told me that we could go see her and when your stupid dumbass mom decides to spend 4 hours shopping for nothing then that's your fault and you should pay the price instead of someone else.

How the fuck can a family be like this? I am at the end of the rope, I can't fucking handle this drama anymore. They're going to say I'm insane because I want to break up with him for being a selfish narcissist with a Oedipus complex (well its more like his mom is in love with him than he is in love with her) Plus he got a date for his polygraph test with the RCMP. They both just can't understand the term "sharing" the original plan was for her to steal ideas from other restaurants not go shopping at the outlet. Obviously I have no choice in the decisions that they make (which are dumb selfish ones). I still can't believe in the "you must obey anyone older than you" rule, times have changed and its time you learned that the world doesn't revolve around you because your "older" I could wrap my head around the idea if she was you know, more humble and sweet instead of being spoiled and selfish.

I just hope the day will come where their family runs out of money and she has to learn how to live by herself instead of relying on someone else. It bugs me that she wants to go to school and then open a restaurant right after, seems so random and someone else can use that seat int he class. she can't stand the fact that she'll have a manager if she works as a care aide. Hope that she cuts the umbilical cord off of Steve too which probably won't happen because she's a bitch and would just freak the fuck out if he ever had his own life without her.

He always says that when he becomes a cop he won't live with his mom but GET REAL she's going to fucking make up a sob story about how the family is poor and not making money and that he's the bread winner in the family and has to take care of his mom that is aging and that she can't work for a very long time or her body will hurt and that his dad's business is failing or some shit. His sister is piece of work too, miniature version of his mom only with education, its only a matter of time before she gets on their moms level.

I know if he'll eventually become an RCMP officer but he'll eventually fuck it up by helping his mom (or Koreans) out in situations where he shouldn't or his rage/temper will get the best of him and he'll do something stupid without thinking it through that could jeopardize his job. You know what his parents said to him once? Basically its ok to arrest everyone else except Korean people because "they are our kind" its like fuck you, you really want a police officer with parents who instill this type of thought in their kids? ummm no.

Talk about a shitty wife too, his mom blew like $5000 on the dog and she tells her daughter to not tell her husband and she doesn't tell him at all that she blew that much. Obviously he'd be upset, I would be too if my wife spent $5000 and DIDN'T TELL ME, not only that she told Steve the same thing. They keep SO MANY secrets from his dad if I were Korean I would tell him EVERYTHING. I feel bad for his dad, has to be married to a bitch wife and sends her money and she lies to him what she's spending it on.

RANT OVER.
I hope Karma super gets this family.

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Date Night Ruined

Steve and I haven't been out in ages for a date. Sure we go out and eat but the purpose is for sustenance not to be social and its usually take out or us eating out for 30 minutes. Sundays used to be our hang out day but lately he has been making plans with his school friends or working and we haven't had much time together.

I knew he had this Sunday off of work but then he randomly tells me he's going to some shooting range with some Korean people and then bowling with his classmates afterwards and I was kind of pissed off because its been like a few months since we actually went on a date.

I know he's moving out soon so I want to spend some time with him. I mean we live together and what not but we don't really hang out at home, we're in different rooms doing different things. The only time we hang out at home is if I ask him if he's hungry or when we're sleeping. So he promised me today that we would go out.

We went to the mall to grab dinner, a movie and look around and then he tells me about all these things he's got planned with other people this sunday and I ask him when the next time we're actually going to spend time together is, he says "well.. I'm not sure I'm busy with work and school stuff..." and I'm kind of like "... this seems ridiculous! I just want to spend some time with you before you move out because your mom is going to hoard all of your time and never let you see me." He just changed the subject and didn't answer me (He went to look at the stupid Ipod nano).

So I kept my distance with him tonight. If he doesn't want to make an effort why should I? I even told him that he just didn't say anything. I knew he was pissed off because he kept making a fist with his hand and I was like why are you pissed off? is this you trying? because its not working (in my head of course he'd probably punch me out if I said this out loud)

I don't understand why he can't just be honest with me its way better than being silent and making me even more confused.

Plus he fell asleep in the movie theatre!
what the hell! also Looper was a good movie, go watch it.

I'm at the end of my rope.
I guess it's just hard to let go.

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Midterms/Relationship rant

Very wordy post.

BRAIN EXPLOSION!
I totally procrastinated and am studying last minute for my exam.
I've crammed in 2 chapters of biology into my head already and I have 2 more to go and I feel so confused! I should become religious and stop believing in science because its just too much :P

*****

Last night I was studying really hard and was getting pissed off because the house was so messy. Steve came home from school and as soon as he did he just went onto his computer to play games. He has a midterm tomorrow (mine is today) so I asked him to clean the dishes because I was studying. It took him 6.5 hours to finally get up and wash them (he was playing sudden attack and an mmorpg with his friends during that time) at 2AM he gets up and does it. He knows if he doesn't do them I will eventually but I yelled at him lol.

I really don't ask for much around the house except take out the garbage because its heavy. In the past 6 months he's washed dishes 3 times so I'm kind of like wtf get up and clean! I have a midterm worth 30% of my mark!

Its no wonder his mom wants him to move out and become more "independent" (aka live with her so he can do all the errands for her)

 *****

It just blows my mind on how selfish some people can be. I usually buy the groceries and cook and clean and he does nothing (drive?) lol When I get overwhelmed I ask him to clean, it just takes a century for him to do it.  Its no wonder because he's used to his mom and sister doing all the housework.

His mom thinks that its the other way around and that he does everything and I just hang out... wtf. I remember when she came to visit last time and she got super pissed off at me because I turned off the lights she wasn't using in various rooms and it was like 10AM and she tells him that I have rage issues and that a normal person doesn't get as angry as much as I do.

I do things for a reason, I don't purposely go piss off people for no reason unless they piss me off first. Like the light thing, its 10AM!! who needs to turn on ALL the lights in the house when its nice and sunny out, what a waste of energy! open the curtain! she said that I had to consult her first before turning them off. Just who's house is this? your visiting! be considerate!

Plus the whole living situation thing, His mom is making him move out because she says she wants more control in the house and that when she stays here that she has no control and that my parents boss her around (err.. my mom just asks you if you want to go swim and my dad works all day) and that she says that Steve eats really unhealthy food because we have cans of soup (we don't eat them everyday wtf, we only bought them because they are cheaper in the states) Plus she's making him move right beside her best friend's place, convenient place for her right?

She says to me "You guys can date but marriage is not an option nor is living together 
(where was this a year ago when your son moved into our house? should've said something then!),
 your not Korean, you don't know Korean culture, You don't speak Korean. Marriage is about the joining of two families how are you going to do that if you don't understand Korean culture?" WTF then she bitched at me about not hanging out with his cousins when I was in Korea. Ok.. I hung out with them a few times and its my vacation too not just his. When my cousins were here Steve never hung out with mine, so fuck you!

Steve doesn't speak Cantonese and my parents don't give a shit. I grew up in Canada! I'm so freaking whitewashed! why do I have to put all the effort in to "become Korean" Shouldn't it be a mutual effort?

Seriously considering dating someone else if he doesn't do anything, who's mom does this? you would think she would be grateful because he pays like NO RENT and SHE STAYS FOR FREE.

I know his dad is unemployed right now and that she doesn't work so wtf. Go ahead and go out and pay $950+ for rent plus utilities lol. I know its eventually going to get to the point where his dad runs out of money and tells steve to quit school and work so he can pay the rent just like last time.

They're just excuses because they want full control of the kids. They want him to have a wife that will obey his family. In their family his parents happiness comes before their children's which apparently is normal for Koreans? according to his friend.

I remember chatting with his sister a few weeks ago and their mom wanted her to get rid of Facebook because their mom's friends daughter was engaged to this guy but he broke it off because his family found out that she had a previous relationship that was posted on Facebook. WTF who cares?! and that their mom wants her to break up with her boyfriend because he studies art again wtf! who cares? they don't mind when he buys her expensive things!

At the end of the day his parents just want to look good in front of other people. Its funny because they don't tell anyone his dad is unemployed and that her son lives with his girlfriend its better to be honest than lie to your "Friends."

Korean people is this normal?!
I heard from some of his friends this is really abnormal.
comment comment because I have no idea what to do/say anymore to get through to him!

rant rant rant rant...!
I'm so gonna bomb this exam!

PRIDE!!!