No More Drama Please...

The other day, I found out that Steve's been hanging out with this girl that works at the same hospital as him, like a lot and on a one on one basis.

Maybe I'm crazy but it occurred to me that he probably dumped me because of her. When we went to Hawaii back in July he made it his mission to find her some spam, teriyaki spam or something. We went to like 5 ABC store's (the popular convenience store there besides 7-eleven) but couldn't find it.

The second time we went to Hawaii he made sure he would come home with spam for her so we literally drove 15-20 minutes out of our way and went to the walmart, just to buy her spam - nothing else. He didn't buy anything else for his friends, he bought coffee for his coworkers but that's it. Nothing for his "close friends" but he just had to buy spam for this girl. Then a few weeks before we broke up he was helping her plan a trip to Korea with her friends (which btw I didn't have an issue with, he seems to think I went on a jealous tirade - I just said "you're the wrong person to plan the trip with since you just wanted to watch tv the whole time") and soon when she came back from her trip he broke up with me and started hanging out with her outside of work.

Even though we broke up, we would message each other here and there and we would have small chats and he would give me driving lessons too. When I tried to coordinate driving practice with him he would tell me, on many occasions, "I'm going to go see a movie with the hospital crew tonight" or "I'm going to a dinner thing with the hospital crew tonight at ___ time so I have to be home by ____" This went on a lot early post break up, up until now. But, it turns out he wasn't hanging out with his coworkers, he was having dinner with her, or going to see movies with her.

It was confirmed when a friend of his saw him at metrotown mall with her shopping/watching a movie and he told me.

and with that, I was SUPER PISSED OFF.

Months before we broke up, I would ask him "let's go see this movie" or "let's go out to dinner" or "let's go bowling" basically any activity I would ask him to do he would say things like "I'm broke we can't go" or "I'm tired I don't want to go" things along those lines. But then suddenly when he's single he suddenly had money to burn? I had to pay for EVERYTHING whenever we went out, that was the only way I could get him to go out with me his excuse for that was "you make more than me"

His friend said to me when I told them why I was pissed off "WTF, he works tons of overtime, how is it that he had no money suddenly?"

So I was super pissed off that he would make excuses not to hang out with his girlfriend at the time and then suddenly he's no longer broke and he's out there spending time/money with her trying to impress her and he also bought a new car to impress her too, he keeps telling people "I was interested in getting a hybrid" that kind of thing but even if he didn't split the car payment with his dad it would still save him tons of money -__-'

Anyway the point of this is he didn't bother to work on our relationship.

He was set on breaking up with me months beforehand and that's why he didn't tell me about his feelings and pushed me away on purpose, and didn't want to spend any time with me.

He strung me along for months because he knew that I would spend money on shit for him because I knew he was broke and he waited until he felt that it was the right time.

**********

I know who this girl is of course since the security guards know her and stuff. I decided I would tell Steve my feelings. I told him that it made sense now - all the things he said to me when he broke up with me "you can find a better guy that will treat you better" and how easy it was for him to say those things and remain emotionless as he told me all these things. Because he had already found someone else he was interested in.

I also told him that I knew about the girl and how pissed off I was that he made excuses not to go out with me because of time/money/energy but would go out of his way to hang out with her. He wanted a "good break up" just in case things didn't work out with her and he would try to get back together with me.

He said that their relationship is like my relationship with my best friend. Which pissed me off. We've been best friends for over 10 years, we know each others secrets and everything. I DIDN'T NEED TO LIE OR HIDE when I was hanging out with him (he's gay, so there was no jealousy there) not only that how are you guys such good friends if you guys NEVER hung out outside of work on a one on one or even with a group while we were dating?

but what pissed me off the most was that he would still lie to me post break up about hanging out with her. Its like ok, you're single, you're free to hang out with anyone you want. If you're gonna go hang out with a girl go ahead but don't lie to me and say that you're hanging out with your friends/coworkers because why are you trying to hide it? Its seriously obvious you're into this girl just say the truth.

I told him don't bother replying because I'm not gonna hear his excuse and blocked him on Kakaotalk right away. That was like a day ago lol.

**********

What I wrote after he sent me some email

So then this evening.. halfway through my shift I get an email from him with the title "read this plz." goddamn he still writes like a 14 year old on MSN messenger lol. Here is my reply:

"This doesn't matter anymore.

I did not bother reading your email because there is nothing left more to say.

Please don't contact me again."

Anyway, he wrote a really long email, it was basically an essay and.. he's done this in the past. He would just make it seem like everything was my fault, I do own up to my faults, everybody has them but he honestly blamed the whole break up shit all on me. EVERYTHING according to him was MY fault.

Even when he cheated on me he would say that I had trust issues and shit (WELL NO SHIT) he never tried to mend it or even acknowledge what he did was wrong essentially he thought just because we didn't break up he didn't do anything wrong. He basically thought forgive and forget. So of course to this day I still have trust issues with him and with that....

I didn't read it.

I'm not going to read his essay on our relationship, I was there too, I lived it and we went through this before, I don't want the drama, I don't want to hear the lies and the blame going all on me. There's no reason to bring up reasons why you wanted to break up. It doesn't excuse someone who claims to still care about you to keep lying to you. That's how I see it because we're done, why are you still lying?

So I didn't want to write out a long explanation on why I didn't read it, I just put it as blunt and concise as possible.

I just wanted to make it clear that it doesn't matter what he says, there's really no reason for us to talk anymore because what's said has been said and that I don't want to talk/see him again.

I don't think he's crazy enough to show up at my place and want to talk..

Money and Relationships

I wish Steve was more aware of what he does and says around people instead of blaming them when I point out some of his issues.

We went out for dinner last night with my good friend and her boyfriend from college at a Chinese restaurant. We went to the bank beforehand because I told him "Its a Chinese restaurant its probably cash only, you should take out some cash" and he says to me "Why would they have cash only? Most places accept debit/credit so I'm not taking out cash" so in my head I was like this is going to be complicated later.

Generally when I go out with my friends I like to take out cash if its an Asian restaurant (for some reason most of them here accept cash only) and its better to pay in cash if its a group of people because its easier to figure out who paid for what.

Anyways, we ordered a few dishes to share amongst ourselves and when the bill came it was $60 including tip it was about $66 so I put down $20, my friend and her boyfriend put down $40 and Steve just sat there and was like "do they accept debit/credit?" I was like "seriously? this is why you take out cash" and then he asks "Does this place accept American dollars?" >.< !!!!!!!!!!! yes because most family run restaurants accept foreign currency ...

So my friend and her boyfriend ended up having to pay the difference because I only took out $20 and put down all the change I could and we all left awkwardly. I did scold him in the car on the way home he said he'll pay the whole thing next time but I doubt he will and then he got SUPER defensive and said "if she would just check her phone when you asked if it was cash only we wouldn't have this problem!!" even so I wish he would just take responsibility or even thank them for the meal but that wasn't the only issue.

At some point in the dinner he said "I can hit my girlfriend whenever I want (he doesn't) but I choose not to" and we were all like silent and awkward because he wants to be a police officer and its something you probably don't want to say out loud in a public place, even if it was a joke. When I brought this up today he said "they're just closed minded" -___-'

Financially this isn't the first time something like this has happened with the same friend. We went out for dim sum once and the bill was $50 my friend only had a $50 bill and didn't want to use her credit card. I gave my friend $20 and Steve took the $50 and paid with his credit card, the whole amount so basically he didn't pay for any of the food and she was like wtf and said that she's never seen him pay for anything.

Most of the time when we go out with his friends one of his friends pays for him because he says he's totally broke, which isn't the case. He's just saving money for stupid shit LOL. I talked to his friend about that today and he said that he knows that he has no money and one day he'll pay him back -__-' does he really think that his girlfriend who lives with him doesn't know him at all? Then he said "the person who is most financially stable should pay" -___-' !!!!!!! Ok I must be dealing with really inconsiderate people. Even if you make more money doesn't mean you should pay for people who  make less money than you... if you choose to go out you should pay for yourself, its not the responsibility of others!

Argh its just giving me a headache and I know that when Steve gets home he's going to rage and break something and he'll blame it on others instead of taking responsibility. A lot of people don't like his cocky attitude (I can't blame them)

Don't get me wrong I like that he's confident (most of the time) but when he's around certain people it just triggers his douchebag side. The problem is talking to him about certain issues because he doesn't like to talk about serious topics.

So tell me, how would you go about this issue?

Poop.

*update* Now that I think more about it I wish my friend would have handled this situation better than she did. I mean she could have said something then and there (he did ask if there was an atm but they said nothing) instead of staring at him all awkwardly or even given us a heads up on this place being cash only since we've never been to this place before. I'm not sure what I want to do but Steve is still oblivious to people's feelings and he should town down his cocky attitude when its someone sensitive. So far its ended on bad terms since neither of them want to see each other ever again :(

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Monster Clitoris

Sorry no photos! :P

So I was chatting with my boyfriend about sex moves today in the car. Very romantic.
I said something about one thing he does when we have sex and he said to me
"You have a small clitoris so its hard" LOL TMI???

I started thinking it can't be THAT small and blurted out
"WHAT KIND OF MONSTER CLITORIS'S DID YOUR EX GIRLFRIENDS HAVE AH??
he said "They were pretty big and long" what the heck.. is that normal?

My friend and I have a long running joke that my boyfriend is secretly gay because he's kind of feminine not like gay but how fobby Korean guys are, such as style and skinship between friends so I said to him "So they were men!?" Steve: "No wtf! they were just weird maybe its a Korean girl thing."

I enjoy these random sex chats hahaha

Do you have a nice awkward conversation with your loved ones too?
Feel free to share in the comments!