2017 So Far...

Its almost been a full month into the new year.

I'm finding most nights I'm staying up really really late, I go to bed at around 5 or 6AM. It really doesn't help when I have shifts at work that start at 6AM lol but I manage.

Its not that I'm preoccupied with a lot of thoughts, I'm not even thinking about Steve anymore so I'm going to rule that out, I haven't even talked to him in a long time.

Although, I've been thinking about someone else that I work with a lot lately lol. I see his name EVERYWHERE and I didn't know that it was such a common name.. even various variations of that name and yes I have a major crush on this guy LOL, the thing is I barely see him at work and rarely get to talk to him since its been so busy. Everyone keeps telling me to ask him out but I'm SO SHY! -___-' plus I don't even know if he's single or not so until I know I'm not going to do anything about it.

My best friend seems to think I'm going to end up with him, only because he does tarot cards and has said that he's popped up in my readings a lot recently, and I don't even know what to make of what he said anyway so I'll just let it all play out and see but I am keeping my options open.

But! I hope he's right! This guy is like the TOTAL OPPOSITE of Steve. He's so nice! and not cocky at all (at least not right off the bat like Steve was) their personalities are very different, I think he suits being a nurse very well, a great bedside manner and can be tough with patients who are problematic, which is why I was attracted to him while I was still dating Steve (Steve on the other hand would just treat people like he was more superior than him, which he still does)

Some of my friends have been telling me to try online dating. But I know its not for me, honestly, a majority of my friends have dated someone online and it never ends well, mainly because the guy they've been seeing is SUPER FUCKED UP in some way or my friends would go crazy and end up treating them like shit.... plus I'm not one to talk to some stranger over the internet and then meet them, I've got paranoia about that...

**********

We have a new girl at work that NOBODY LIKES. She's brand new and just came out of school but she's worked in a different department in the hospital for a number of years so she has racked up quite the seniority and people are worried that she'll get a full time position ahead of some people who have been working in the lab for a number of years.

She's not that bad, I mean, I'm sure I was just as bad when I first started BUT there's a difference between the two of us. When mistakes are made, she doesn't learn from them, not only that, she has a terrible bedside manner, so a lot of people get nervous when she has to poke them... we've also had numerous complaints from patients... I doubt she'll get fired, I highly highly doubt it. Maybe she'll get better? But its been a while and she hasn't gotten much better...

I also screwed up my back recently, no idea how that happened but I almost had a week and a half off of work to nurse it back to work.

**********

I have two long vacations coming up this year, one in April and one in December. Depending on school in December I really would like to go to Asia or something.

I've been itching to go somewhere for a while but the problem is I want someone to go with! Ashley is busy with working and school and most of my friends are broke and I've got no boyfriend to go with lol! I'll think about where I want to go in April.... if anywhere...

So far this year... is confusing LOL

Will update again at the end of next month!

Do You Believe in the Police?

I used to... not anymore.

No, I didn't do anything illegal.

I got the news last week that Steve has gotten into the RCMP. He goes to depot on Jan 9th? Around there.

Its not that I'm pissed off that he got in. I'm pissed off about the fact that he openly told them that he has sexually assaulted someone in his application package and again on the polygraph and yet they OMITTED his interview with a psychologist.

It makes me wonder who else has gotten in for doing something either similar or worse.

I'm still within the means to actually do something legally about him sexually assaulting me a few years ago and the thought has crossed my mind, but will I do it? I don't know yet.

He did the test, the MMPI, which is all True or False questions and then they just threw him into depot right away, I guess it helps when you have buddies who are in the police already, seriously. 3 buddies that he's worked with are working for the RCMP, Delta police and the Calgary police, it really makes your resume stand out. PLUS the fact that he's like the boss for the security team at the hospital.

You would think that an interview with a psychologist would at least assess the risk of him committing something like that again, especially if he is in a position of power working with potentially vulnerable people. But, he was drunk right? so its ok -__-'

There's tons of things he needs to work on but I guess that it doesn't matter, right?

There was a recent poll in Vancouver about whether or not the people trust the police or not that I read on the daily hive (Click here for the article)

Its people like him that are getting accepted into the RCMP that still have things to work on that are fucking it up for the rest of them.

I really want to move away now because it really freaks me out.

I have no faith in the police anymore honestly.
I can't take these guys seriously anymore and nor do my friends but who cares about our opinions right?

Moving On - At Least Trying To

Alright so after the break up I went on Tinder a few times, I gotta say it isn't my cup of tea. I'm pretty stubborn on the fact that you can't rush finding someone and that I would rather meet somebody the "natural way" but I'm not really looking for anything super serious right now at least and the guys I've chatted on there don't seem like they're looking for anything serious anyway (I'm not looking for hook ups or anything like that) I chatted with a few guys and even talked about meeting up with them but I thought it was too soon for that...

Gist of it basically

How I still feel even months after the break up. Despite what some people say, 9Gag can be quite insightful sometimes LOL and these memes totally related to how I felt and still feel.

I felt so lonely for 6 years even when he was laying beside me

When most of my friends told me they didn't like him and I told him about it he got so upset about it and called them "cunts" and "bitches" and he would basically make me choose between them or him. At the time I was living with him so wtf was I supposed to do? Plus they didn't like little things he did like ask me to pay for stuff when we went to go eat out together, or call me fat and ugly in front of them... WOW why the fuck did I date him for so long? Lol I'm glad they're still here for me after all this time :) but according to him "it's just a fucking joke"

And so, he basically isolated me most of the time and I didn't realize it until we broke up. When I hung out with friends he would always keep tabs on me and shit and soon enough I just had a handful of friends I could count on but that was dwindling as well... Things definitely changed when I went to work and made new friends. I guess because he didn't know them he couldn't keep tabs on me in a way, but would constantly offer to pick me up/drop me off even though I live close by but the thing is - I wasn't doing anything shady, I was upfront and honest but I guess I couldn't say the same for him.

And yes he did break up with me for another girl as I mentioned before in the previous post and he's chasing after her. Although, friends who work with him have told me she has a "friends with benefits" relationship with some other guy but otherwise, if he wasn't around Steve and her would hook up, they first told me she wasn't interested but apparently that changed. Most girls like the chase, it gives them confidence knowing that some guy likes them, so I think she'll give in eventually if she hasn't already, it sort of happened to a friend of mine. She wasn't looking to date this guy and was creeped out by him, eventually she agreed to go on a date with him to get it over with and tell him no but then she ended up dating him for like 5 years LOL.

I have no idea wtf he's been telling her, but apparently he told her that I think he broke up with me because Steve and her were dating. Which I KNOW is not true. Because he barely had the time to do things for his parents let alone have time to secretly date someone else. So I'm like 100% sure he's told her other shit about either himself or me that is not true at all. Our mutual friend told me that he's been saying weird things to "match" her so it seems like they're compatible so our friend is like ... wtf, she said its hilarious and awkward because he's trying too hard and it makes some situations awkward.

Even now we hang out and still talk here and there but he's keeping it secret from all his co-workers because he's scared that they'll tell her and she'll lose interest or something. I told him - "what's the point in being friends still if you want to keep it a secret? Its obvious you don't want to be friends then"

**********

I randomly decided to give Tinder another go.. a lot of my friends have been meeting really nice guys lately... so why not? I'm actually talking to somebody right now (His name is Danny). We've been talking non-stop for almost a week now, we haven't met up yet and I don't really plan on doing it any time soon... He seems like a nice guy, a little weird which isn't always a bad thing LOL (doesn't eat veggies... that's weird to me but works out like crazy lol) The ironic thing is... he plays roller hockey... in the same league that Steve plays in... in the same division..

A friend of mine who does tarot card readings (quite accurately most of the time) told me, the next guy I meet, if Steve and him run into each other, they're going to fight... and at the time I didn't meet Danny so I was like, there's no way that they'll meet but then after a while we were talking and then it suddenly clicked. I don't even know if I'm going to date him or not so we'll have to wait and see.

Plus many months ago he told me I'd get with a guy who was a student who was also a professional? Not sure how that works but I found out that he is a student, not really sure what he is studying (I didn't feel like grilling him at the moment)

We shall see how this progresses.... I'll have to meet Danny in person to see how we click.

No More Drama Please...

The other day, I found out that Steve's been hanging out with this girl that works at the same hospital as him, like a lot and on a one on one basis.

Maybe I'm crazy but it occurred to me that he probably dumped me because of her. When we went to Hawaii back in July he made it his mission to find her some spam, teriyaki spam or something. We went to like 5 ABC store's (the popular convenience store there besides 7-eleven) but couldn't find it.

The second time we went to Hawaii he made sure he would come home with spam for her so we literally drove 15-20 minutes out of our way and went to the walmart, just to buy her spam - nothing else. He didn't buy anything else for his friends, he bought coffee for his coworkers but that's it. Nothing for his "close friends" but he just had to buy spam for this girl. Then a few weeks before we broke up he was helping her plan a trip to Korea with her friends (which btw I didn't have an issue with, he seems to think I went on a jealous tirade - I just said "you're the wrong person to plan the trip with since you just wanted to watch tv the whole time") and soon when she came back from her trip he broke up with me and started hanging out with her outside of work.

Even though we broke up, we would message each other here and there and we would have small chats and he would give me driving lessons too. When I tried to coordinate driving practice with him he would tell me, on many occasions, "I'm going to go see a movie with the hospital crew tonight" or "I'm going to a dinner thing with the hospital crew tonight at ___ time so I have to be home by ____" This went on a lot early post break up, up until now. But, it turns out he wasn't hanging out with his coworkers, he was having dinner with her, or going to see movies with her.

It was confirmed when a friend of his saw him at metrotown mall with her shopping/watching a movie and he told me.

and with that, I was SUPER PISSED OFF.

Months before we broke up, I would ask him "let's go see this movie" or "let's go out to dinner" or "let's go bowling" basically any activity I would ask him to do he would say things like "I'm broke we can't go" or "I'm tired I don't want to go" things along those lines. But then suddenly when he's single he suddenly had money to burn? I had to pay for EVERYTHING whenever we went out, that was the only way I could get him to go out with me his excuse for that was "you make more than me"

His friend said to me when I told them why I was pissed off "WTF, he works tons of overtime, how is it that he had no money suddenly?"

So I was super pissed off that he would make excuses not to hang out with his girlfriend at the time and then suddenly he's no longer broke and he's out there spending time/money with her trying to impress her and he also bought a new car to impress her too, he keeps telling people "I was interested in getting a hybrid" that kind of thing but even if he didn't split the car payment with his dad it would still save him tons of money -__-'

Anyway the point of this is he didn't bother to work on our relationship.

He was set on breaking up with me months beforehand and that's why he didn't tell me about his feelings and pushed me away on purpose, and didn't want to spend any time with me.

He strung me along for months because he knew that I would spend money on shit for him because I knew he was broke and he waited until he felt that it was the right time.

**********

I know who this girl is of course since the security guards know her and stuff. I decided I would tell Steve my feelings. I told him that it made sense now - all the things he said to me when he broke up with me "you can find a better guy that will treat you better" and how easy it was for him to say those things and remain emotionless as he told me all these things. Because he had already found someone else he was interested in.

I also told him that I knew about the girl and how pissed off I was that he made excuses not to go out with me because of time/money/energy but would go out of his way to hang out with her. He wanted a "good break up" just in case things didn't work out with her and he would try to get back together with me.

He said that their relationship is like my relationship with my best friend. Which pissed me off. We've been best friends for over 10 years, we know each others secrets and everything. I DIDN'T NEED TO LIE OR HIDE when I was hanging out with him (he's gay, so there was no jealousy there) not only that how are you guys such good friends if you guys NEVER hung out outside of work on a one on one or even with a group while we were dating?

but what pissed me off the most was that he would still lie to me post break up about hanging out with her. Its like ok, you're single, you're free to hang out with anyone you want. If you're gonna go hang out with a girl go ahead but don't lie to me and say that you're hanging out with your friends/coworkers because why are you trying to hide it? Its seriously obvious you're into this girl just say the truth.

I told him don't bother replying because I'm not gonna hear his excuse and blocked him on Kakaotalk right away. That was like a day ago lol.

**********

What I wrote after he sent me some email

So then this evening.. halfway through my shift I get an email from him with the title "read this plz." goddamn he still writes like a 14 year old on MSN messenger lol. Here is my reply:

"This doesn't matter anymore.

I did not bother reading your email because there is nothing left more to say.

Please don't contact me again."

Anyway, he wrote a really long email, it was basically an essay and.. he's done this in the past. He would just make it seem like everything was my fault, I do own up to my faults, everybody has them but he honestly blamed the whole break up shit all on me. EVERYTHING according to him was MY fault.

Even when he cheated on me he would say that I had trust issues and shit (WELL NO SHIT) he never tried to mend it or even acknowledge what he did was wrong essentially he thought just because we didn't break up he didn't do anything wrong. He basically thought forgive and forget. So of course to this day I still have trust issues with him and with that....

I didn't read it.

I'm not going to read his essay on our relationship, I was there too, I lived it and we went through this before, I don't want the drama, I don't want to hear the lies and the blame going all on me. There's no reason to bring up reasons why you wanted to break up. It doesn't excuse someone who claims to still care about you to keep lying to you. That's how I see it because we're done, why are you still lying?

So I didn't want to write out a long explanation on why I didn't read it, I just put it as blunt and concise as possible.

I just wanted to make it clear that it doesn't matter what he says, there's really no reason for us to talk anymore because what's said has been said and that I don't want to talk/see him again.

I don't think he's crazy enough to show up at my place and want to talk..

My Car - and Some Weird Things

So I mentioned in a previous post that I bought a car.

The thing is, I don't technically have a license LOL. Some of you might be like uh.. wtf?
I was planning on buying a car right away anyway after I got my license, I might as well learn to drive the one I buy plus I would feel better fucking up my own car than a loaner one from a school or from a friend.

What did I get?

a 2012 Kia Optima Hybrid

I really like it, its fully loaded and great on gas which is one of the main things I was looking for. I'm probably not gonna be driving it to many places except for like metrotown and to my sisters place every now and then. Plus the size is great for me.

You wanna know something fucked up?

After I bought the car like a month later... STEVE BOUGHT THE EXACT SAME CAR.

Ok he bought a 2016 Kia optima hybrid not a 2012 like mine but WTF WHY?!

I honestly don't get why he bought the exact same car as me, he wanted a goddamn truck!

Not only that when we were together he kept bitching about how he didn't have a car available when he needed it because he had to share it with his dad and how they needed a 4th car but instead of keeping the corolla they traded it in and bought this car... so it doesn't really make sense or ease the situation regarding having a car available at all times...

Some of my friends were like that's really strange.. and they expected him to get a Jeep or a truck instead because he's been telling them he wanted one but then he changed his mind last minute and was like "I want to save money on gas" ... I honestly know that's not the reason, he's always buying expensive things to try to impress other people, which is kind of crazy... After being together for nearly 6 years you know when somebody is lying.

He did it to impress a girl. Plus it was probably really easy to influence his parents.

I'm starting to think he's getting weirder and weirder.. its a little alarming actually, but its not my problem anymore.

Rant over, here's some car stuff I bought LOL.

 Terrible air fresheners

I honestly didn't know that the face shop made these car perfumed sticks. It smelled nice yeah but it barely worked and lasted like 2 weeks until it died. I went out and got a bath and body works one, its alright but I'm not a huge fan of the scents.

Deodorizing charcoal bag and Seat belt protector

I'm always paranoid that if I got into a car accident that involved speed my head would get chopped off because of the seatbelt, so I got those Kia seat belt covers.

The charcoal bag supposedly absorbs moisture and bacteria? I left it in my car and I'm really not sure if it does anything or not lol but it had good reviews so I'll leave it for now lol.

Realization and Changes

Now that its been a few weeks since Steve and I broke up, I started thinking about the things I didn't like about him and realized he was a pretty shitty boyfriend. Despite what he might think, I'm actually pretty glad I don't have to be with someone so crazy and I won't have to deal with his psychotic sister and his parents.

I think the thing that made me sad the most was that we spent so much time together when we had days off and stuff, so now that I'm single I have to find things to do, either on my own or with friends and I decided to take a few classes (indoor climbing and yoga - will start soon) I didn't realize I lost so many friends while I was dating him because they just didn't like him... I think that's the thing I regret the most.

I did make the mistake of hooking up with him after the break up (Ashley don't kill me LOL) but I think it was because we were just lonely, I hope to god I'm not knocked up... lol.

I sort of realized he made tons of excuses not to do things with me. A few years ago when he applied for the RCMP they asked him what he did to de-stress himself, he didn't really have a way to relieve his stress (besides punching shit whenever he got mad) and they didn't really like his answer so they deferred him for two years. Since then.. he didn't really make an effort to go on dates with me but he seriously made an effort to go drinking with his buddies every chance he got. His excuse was "I need to de-stress" the same excuse whenever he played video games for hours or watching tv/movies. So he really didn't make an effort to go out on dates especially when I wanted to and he really wanted me to understand that he was sooo stressed out all the time and that's why he didn't want to go out for dinner or watch movies or do any activities with me... -__-' and then he says that he felt like we were more like friends with benefits even though HE was the one that made no fucking effort to go out or do anything with me... dodged a bullet there!

Not only that he has rage issues, all my friends even talked to me about it. One time he walked into the doorknob and it hurt him and he got so angry he started punching the door... I was like "WTF ARE YOU DOING?!" and he said "I'm mad at the door" .... yeah... lol, his coworkers talked to me about it once too but he doesn't seem to think that's a problem so... I hope he fixes this before he becomes a police officer. Knowing his buddies, they will vouch for him and not say anything but that's because they really don't know him that well. He really does behave differently around them.

I do worry about him being placed in a position of power and how his family will probably manipulate him as they do now. When his dad got in trouble with the law in Korea his mom pulled some strings to get him out of it, it wouldn't surprise me if he bailed out his family members if they got in trouble here otherwise he would be "selfish" for not thinking about his family as his mom and sister would say.

At one point we talked about getting married/having kids and I was pretty worried because his family values money above anything else and its pretty sad (especially his sister) I brought it up once and said that money really isn't the most important thing and Steve said to me "I hate to break it to you, but money does cause a lot of happiness, if you can't see that then you're blind" -__-' what I mean by this is that, they have to ALWAYS have all the new toys and gadgets, the name brand clothes just to show off and pretend they're rich. Not sure if I mentioned this but when his grandma died and instead of packing and heading off the the airport right away, his mom and Steve went shopping to buy name brand clothes to impress their cousins.... because that's so important! I feel bad for his future children and the generations that will come from his sister.

As for dating again... the ladies at work want me to date one of our coworkers who is also newly single.. But I really don't want to. He's a nice guy and all but I honestly don't think we'll get along or have much in common plus, I don't really want to date somebody in the same department as me because if we broke up - things would get so weird. Anyway, I'm not really thinking of dating someone else right now at least... it'll probably be another month or so before I start even thinking of dating... Unless its this super hot nurse at work LOL I told Steve I would leave him for this nurse HAHAHAH.

**********

Anyway, I can't remember if I mentioned this in a previous post or not but I'm moving back home. I literally live around the corner from Steve and I really don't want to live here lol. I walk past his house all the time when I go to work and I'm just like FML. He asked me if I was going to move back home and I didn't tell him anything - he doesn't need to know.

Honestly, I'm going home just to save money, I know its going to be hell because my mom is insane. I didn't even tell my parents yet that I'm single... so I'm just going to let it be for now because I can just imagine what my mom would say "I knew he would leave you for someone else" "he left you because you're crazy" shit like that... >.<

I also don't think I mentioned that I bought a car lol so going back home would help me save so much money. I promised myself I would get girlier this summer so let's see how that goes -___-' LOL

Broken Up

Not the feeling the best at the moment, but I'm writing this post anyway... One day I'll probably look back and regret writing this LOL but I'll just have to deal with it for now.

**********

What Happened

So Steve and I dated for almost 6 years.

He broke up with me a few days ago, said that he couldn't see me getting along with his sister, which is true but - its not like I tried to resolve things and he didn't to help any of that, his reason? "I just don't like conflict" is what he said and that just pissed me off so much because those are obviously things that we could have resolved and we could have been on good terms but her not even trying didn't help either.

The main part was, he just lost feelings for me. Thought of me more as a friend than a girlfriend. He said the past few months it felt more like a friends with benefits relationship more than anything else and that he doesn't want to start a marriage with that kind of feeling.

Thing is he never mentioned ANY of it to me and that's one of the things that bugs me so much. Why didn't he? He should have said something right when he started feeling this way. But, I think its what he wanted anyway. I think he wanted to wait till he barely had any feelings left and then break things off.

When he told me all these things he was so expressionless and machine like. He honestly looked like he didn't care. He said that its hard for him too but I don't really believe him at all. Its just a feeling I get.

He kept saying things like "I haven't treated you very well, you deserve a guy that treats you well and makes you happy" A lot of my friends suspect he was interested in someone else and I do think he is interested in someone else... I have a few suspicions, He says he's not interested in someone.. but... he's the kind of guy that doesn't let feelings get to him so I'm sure he'll be trying to move in on someone else quickly.

I told him I don't even want another guy, We both like the same things and have the same hobbies. Now I can't see any of his friends/co-workers anymore even though I liked hanging out with them. I don't think I can find a guy like him again but who knows maybe I will.

He said we met when we were young and now that we're older we're much different people and he just doesn't feel the same way anymore. Which makes it hurt so much more because I don't feel like that with him.

I thought to myself a while back "we're kind of lucky that we were together for so long and I still love him so much" but that's what I thought and still feel, but I wasn't ever in his thoughts.

 I guess it was inevitable anyway, because I look back on the posts I wrote about him and his family and it wasn't the greatest history but since then, things have gotten better with his parents at least. His sister on the other hand - I feel like she seriously lacks some part human emotion so she just seems so... robotic in a way?

**********

What I Wanted This Summer

Well, I wanted our families to hang out more for one which he didn't know about and make some kind of amendment with his sister. He told me last year before his dad came that he wanted to spend the year hanging out with him and his family so they could get closer, since his dad hasn't lived with them in like 12 years or something. So I gave him the space, he said he regrets that.

I also had tons of plans this summer for us to do things but... they're not gonna happen anymore.

**********

How we Met

Back when Future Shop existed in North Vancouver and it was my first day. I remember meeting him. I was immediately drawn to him and knew I wanted to date him. He was my first real boyfriend (which makes it worse I guess) and I was like wow! this is the first time a guy I like likes me back!

Eventually, he started reciprocating his feelings back to me, back in the night market. We went with a group of friends but split up, just the two of us and basically just held hands there lol, its childish I know but we were young. 

Eventually what it took was me going out with one of our co-workers that basically brought us together. I went on one date with the other guy and the next day at work, Steve came in and sat down in my department. I asked him "do you like me or something?" and he responded "Do you like me?!" lol and I said "yeah, you're alright" and he was like "alright we're dating then" LOL and then we went on our first date that night.

Then since that summer we were basically inseparable. Things of course changed when his mom came back for a little while and told him he had to move out of the place they owned and he moved down to an apartment by himself on 4th st, then I basically moved in with him lol. Spent every night there with him, only going home when his mom/sister came to visit.

Then he quit going to school and his parents didn't want to pay for the apartment anymore and he couldn't afford it so my parents thought it would be a good idea to take him in. So he moved into our house, for a few years. His mom came eventually and had to study to get a job here which made things between us obviously start dissolving.

When his sister finished school and came back to Vancouver, they moved out. Then we had that huge fight last year and our whole relationship hasn't been the same since.

**********

What Hurts the Most

I seriously was ready to settle down with him. Since he told me he wanted to break up I haven't really eaten that much (no appetite for some reason, I try to but I'll have a few bites of something and just quit) I haven't slept much (just a few hours a night) and I've been randomly crying.

I went to work 2 days after the break up and just burst into tears in the lunch room and would tear up in the hallways when I was alone. It was fine when it was busy but when things in the Emergency Room would quiet down and I would be alone in the mini lab, he would creep into my mind and I would think about him and start crying. I would say all the staff knew how much he meant to me because I spoke about him all the time. When the staff asked me about my puffy eyes I told some of the nurses I yawned or had allergies. But I thought it would be a good idea to take some days off.

Now - I know its still the beginning of the break up but.. whenever I close my eyes before I try to sleep I see his face and wish he was beside me. 

I think about him all day long and wonder what he's doing and I can't just call him up randomly and be like "what's up?" because that makes it so much harder, hearing his voice and then I start tearing up again.

Night time is especially worse, just because its much quieter and there's less distractions and I wish he was here so I could hug him or touch his face or something. 

But that's not realistic anymore.

With the little amount of sleep I do manage to get, I dream about us going out and doing things together and just hanging out and then I wake up and face the reality of him not being there for me anymore.

I asked if we could try again... but he said his gut feeling tells him that its not going to work, even if its for a few more months his feelings wouldn't change and he doesn't want to waste time for either of us and if he regrets it later on, he said he'll just have to live with it forever :(

He says he would still like to be friends. Which I know in my heart will not work out.

I wonder if I will love the next guy I date as much... I'm not sure... and at this moment it wouldn't be fair to the next guy either so we'll just have to wait and see.

Steve's Psycho Sister

HOLY FUCK

Never in my life have I ever been talked to the way Steve's sister has to me tonight.

She just went off on me for no fucking reason like in the most disrespectful, cocky way EVER. I seriously feel like I was being talked to by a 14 year old girl.

I always gave her the benefit of the doubt whenever my friends would tell me that they think that she's a bitch (I thought well, they don't really hang out with her so they don't really know her) but they totally proved me wrong tonight.

**********

Steve and I went to the Auto Show in Vancouver earlier (honestly the first real date we've had a in a long time) and afterwards we went out to dinner with our friends and went back to Steve's house. Steve was too tired to drop me off at my house (he worked the morning shift 7AM - 3PM) So we went back to his place.

 Best ramen I've had in a long long time and some macarons

Japanese Parfait

It was a great date, we haven't been out in so long so it was nice to go out and just hang out with our friends.

Then we went to his place and we tried settle in and then his sister just starts freaking out in Korean at Steve, I got no idea wtf is going on. Then she comes into his room and looks at me and says to me in the most cocky/bitch voice I've ever heard and says to me:

"Amanda let me ask you something, like, why are you here? and Don't say its because Steve wants you here"

I'm kind of like wtf? never been a problem before so why the hell is this coming up now? and Steve does want me here so what am I supposed to say? I didn't know they had such a problem with it cause they never said anything. So I was pretty taken aback so I said "So?" LOL like wtf am I supposed to say? It totally caught me off guard.

They're all pissed off that I come over to hang out/sleep with Steve and I don't pay their fucking rent and that I don't say Hi to his mom or sister when I come over (I'll say Hi if they're not sleeping or not doing something so wtf) Anyway here is how the conversation went:

Sister: Amanda let me ask you something, like, why are you here? And don't say its because Steve wants you here

Me: So?

Sister: Don't just say so, why are you here? you're here like every day --> (I'm not though lol)

Me: Does that really matter?

Sister: Yes it does, You come here and do nothing

Me: Well when Steve needs help I come over to help him

Sister: Well that's great you're a good girlfriend but that doesn't explain why you're here and by the way I'd appreciate it if you would stop calling my dog, dog, she has a name, its Monet.

Me: She's a freaking dog! (lol IS THIS REALLY THE ISSUE? - She doesn't even take care of the dog, she only puts food in the damn bowl and doesn't even walk her or anything. Hell I walk that dog more than she does)

Me: I only come here when Steve wants me to help him with something

Sister: Well it'd be nice if you would come in and say hi to me or my mom, its his mother have some respect.

Me: I don't want to interrupt you guys when you're doing something

Sister: Don't you have any manners? (Hypocrite)

Me: I do, obviously you're the one that doesn't have any

Then I got really pissed off when she started saying that I have no manners when she's the one that came into his room and just started saying it the way she did. Had she actually came in with a polite tone and was just like "hey just to let you know, we'd appreciate it if you would stay home more often" instead of going the route that she went, I would've been more understanding.

Fucking hell anyway, I ended up calling her a bitch and a cunt LOL but she was definitely acting like one so yeah.

So! His sister - I've never really written a full on long post on her. So let's talk about it:

His sister went to McGill University in Montreal and when I told my friend a long time ago when I first started dating Steve about him he asked me if his sister was Lucifer (name changed, but its actually close to her real name lol) I said yes, he said "oh I don't like her, I used to tutor them in english when they first came to Canada and she was a bitch" I thought to myself well she was like 10 or something when they met and its been like 8/9 years, people can change within that time but boy did he prove me wrong!

Fast forward to now, Obviously things didn't change and she didn't mature. She speaks in the most condescending way, a lot even to waitresses and my friends. I'm actually surprised she has a boyfriend (not surprised she doesn't have many friends) but then again she's only using him to get expensive gifts, when I asked her if she thinks they'll get married she said no. So I was kind of like why string him along then? Just cause you want expensive gifts? Cut him loose so he can go and find a nice girl he can go and settle down with. I really don't get where she gets this cocky/arrogant attitude from (probably his mom)

I hung out with Steve and two of my friends at the Lonsdale Quay once and she wanted to be driven home, so she came to meet us there and the moment she came and started talking they hated her LOL cause she was so arrogant and rude. If her home life translated to her work life she would be fired so fast, unless her boss is a douche too lol.

Anyway she's one of those self entitled princess types, whatever she wants she basically gets, she's always been daddy's girl. Whenever she posts things on Instagram its always prissy things and she doesn't really live well within her means, spends money on useless crap just so she can look rich. I really hope she gets some bad karma for being the way she is.

Its funny how people think that if they go to church it makes them a good person and therefore they can treat everyone else like crap.

**********

Well I asked Steve to drop me off cause I didn't want to deal with that bullshit but then later on he came to pick me up so we could talk. We went to Mcdonalds and asked me what my expectations were from his family, honestly? I don't have any lol I don't expect them to do anything for me but of course they have expectations from me.

What are my expectations in a relationship though? I don't really care for family economics to me marriage isn't "the joining of 2 families" as Steve's mom thinks it is. To me its the joining of two life partners who want to be happy and want to experience life together. In his family they really emphasize old fashion ideals above love and happiness.

So where is this relationship going? Well, we'll just have to see tomorrow shall we?

Desperation

Its been a while since I talked about Steve's family, I think... lol I haven't really read my blog posts in a while.

**********

Round 1

The past few months especially have been the weirdest. Steve's mom wanted to buy a house a few months ago, she freaked out because she thinks that its the only time she can get a house so she's been desperate trying to buy one in North Van.

When she was told that she can't get one because she doesn't make enough income she asked Steve's sister and him to be co-signers for the mortgage, it still wasn't enough and it didn't get approved.

So since it wasn't approved she is forcing them to move out of their current apartment, why? We don't really know why LOL we were like yeah you couldn't get a house - but it doesn't mean you have to move... its kind of illogical and an inconvenience for everyone that you live with.

They should really stop letting his mom make decisions for their family. She's too impulsive and she doesn't really think ahead about how it affects other people.

I'm kind of worried about Steve co-signing a mortgage with his mom and sister (I'm not the only one) because I kinda had a goal to get a place for us within like 5 years (like a townhouse or an apartment) but him co-signing a 15 year mortgage with 2 other people would be difficult for us to get a place one day.

**********

Round 2

We thought since they didn't get approved his mom would stop looking at houses and actually look for a place to rent but nope!

The house they went to look at most recently is actually near my house and its a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom place and its a fixer upper (unfinished basement, roof needs replacing, flooring needs to be replaced), they want to renovate it and then sell it within 2 years.

They went and put an offer on that house and its about $679,000 for the house and the offer they put it was about $630,000? something like that and the owner of the house is refusing the offer because I guess they think the house is worth more? (its not lol) so they said $670,000 take it or leave it.

**********

Final Round

So here is where it gets fucked up for me and my family. Instead of looking for a place to move into next month they were just looking at houses, why? Priorities? lol its like yeah you can put an offer on a house but you won't always be able to move into it right away. So Steve's mom wants to come back and live at our house (for 2-3 months) and the only person she asked was my mom. She didn't ask what me or my dad wants and the thing is our mom doesn't make household decisions like that.

Of course she would ask my mom because they get along and she knew my mom would say yes. I told Steve that NO WAY that I will let that happen it was just absolute hell when she lived here, the suite they used to live in isn't even available for them to rent so the only option is the tiny little room near the garage and it really isn't big enough for 2 people and a dog.

So I talked to Steve about how its definitely not going to work, I explained to him how last time his mom lived here the utility bills were so high and I said it wouldn't matter if she paid for it this time around because she's just too loud and inconsiderate and then adding his sister and the dog? its just not going to work. It'll work out for her but it'll stress the shit out of everyone else in the house.

I go on practicum soon and I don't want to be woken up at 5AM because she decided to call someone in Korea and put them on speaker phone so everyone can hear or us hearing her argue with his sister or Steve. Or hear Monet excessively barking.

Its just not going to work plain and simple, I explained it to him and he told his mom that it isn't going to work, her reaction? SUPER PISSED OFF she absolutely hates my dad even though I told Steve that it was mostly my decision. But you know, she should have said something months ago instead of last minute like she always does.

At the end of the day its like if she's making all these decisions for her family, why is it that she has to drag my family into it? I mean its not like me and Steve are fully committed (no ring on ma finger! lol) I'd probably be a little more ok with it if that were the case (probably not though LOL) and if our roles were reversed his mom would not help us in any way.

Plus it'd be beneficial for Steve to live away from his mom and sister. I don't know why they are so dependent on him... laziness? Probably.

At this point his mom is on her own agenda and because we're not doing what she wants, she's super pissed off and its time she deals with her problems like an adult. 

*UPDATE BONUS ROUND*

I knew Steve would pussy out about living in our house. His mom won't let him move out for the next 2-5 years because he has to help pay for the mortgage because they finally got a place in North Van (its a town house in East North Van)

All his friends are even like "WTF why are you getting a mortgage with your mom? Don't get one!" his answer? "I have no choice" ... REALLY! YOU CAN SAY NO, fucking idiot! he's too scared of his mom.

So if we got married and etc, then its really up to me to deal with the big expenses (like buying a property, etc) but he won't be allowed to live with me unless he is contributing to mortgage/rent cause wtf, really!

What the hell?!

One of the more frustrating mornings I've had in a while... I think I wrote a past blog post in the past about how Steve and his mom are finally moving out, well.. They told me two months ago that they would be moving out at the end of March, now its April and they told me again that they'd be moving out at the end of April and NOW they're telling me they're going to be moving out at the end of May... THE HELL!!!!!!!

WTF I basically have another renter ready for next month (they know this) and then a week before the new tenant (technically she's a previous tenant) has to move in, she wants to sign a lease for 1 year, Steve tells me they can't move out till the end of next month because well his stupid mom not only took too long to find an apartment, she applied for the apartment they wanted perhaps too late, so now they might have to find a new place.

He basically told me "as soon as we get approved we'll be moving right away" they wanted to move out as soon as possible and tell us last minute.. like what the hell, in other apartment buildings you have to tell the landlord or management like a month in advance that you are moving out and you want to let us know when YOU get approved? I don't fucking think so, you had 3 months to find a place, you even flew your sister back to Vancouver to help find an apartment and now your telling us to wait another month?

You wouldn't do this to another landlord so why would you do this to your girlfriend's family?

Back Story:

Steve needed to move into our house cause well at the time he was working full time and he rented a suite that was like $1000 a month but his parents paid for it because he was basically a babysitter for their furniture LOL but they didn't want to pay for it. His wage wasn't that high so he couldn't afford to live there without his parents support.

I told my dad about his situation and one of our tenants in our smaller suite was moving out so he offered that to him FREE OF CHARGE. Steve was like oh that's great cause well he could save money and stuff. Then maybe 6 months later the tenant in the bigger suite moved out and my dad offered that to him for $700 a month cause we were renting that space out for more than that and my parents figured we wanted more privacy.

Then like a year later his mom decides she wants to abandon his dad and come live in Canada for some reason... and since she's lived here its been chaotic. She does whatever the hell she wants whenever she wants and doesn't even care who its disrupting.

So why are they moving? They say its cause when his sister comes back from Montreal they'll need a bigger place which is partially the reason why. The other reason is because apparently its too embarrassing to live at our house, I even talked about this with his friend who told me its some sort of "pride bullshit" <-- his words not mine lol. He says that she's too embarrassed to tell her friends that she rents the basement suite of his girlfriends house so she's been hiding it for like 2 years.

So yeah now that she's working she wants to move out.

**********

So now I have to email the girl back and basically be like well you can't move in till June now cause these assholes can't get their shit together and want to take advantage of my parents.

I seriously am babysitting them, ever since Steve basically moved in here, we should have raised the rent on them when his stupid ass mom decided she wanted to become Canadian and abandon his dad in Korea.

Frankly I can't wait till they move out, they're probably one of the worst tenants we've ever had and we've had fucking drug dealers live in our house LOL but at least they dealt with their affairs quietly and didn't have to drag my parents into their mess and didn't inconvenience them.

Boys and girls this is why you never rent to your boyfriend who has an idiot mom because:

-They paid rent late nearly EVERY month, the longest that they went without paying rent was 2 weeks and I had to remind them like every day

-They brought Monet into the house and didn't even bother asking my parents about her and didn't pay a pet deposit because according to his mom "your mom loves dogs so its ok" <-- NO FUCK YOU, ITS NOT YOUR HOUSE!

-Monet was not house trained or anything (constant barking, peeing and shitting everywhere in the suite)

-Loud as fuck every day, my dad can hear them all the way upstairs on the other side of the house (we have an odd long house)

-They basically destroyed the kitchen sink

So now we might basically lose a tenant for a year, a really nice tenant who's quiet for these idiots who can't figure their shit out.

At some point they wanted me to look at the application for they had to fill out for the apartment and BOY DID THEY LIE OR WHAT! LOL they didn't even bother putting my parents or my information down for the current landlord in case they need references and they wonder why the apartment management company won't call them back, its like well you gave them a shitty application and now your harassing them on the phone, would you rent a suite out to you?

This morning I had to fucking push them to find a new place cause you know what? They were supposed to move out TWO MONTHS AGO why should I constantly put a better tenant on hold so the shitty one can stay longer? I don't want to babysit them anymore..

Why do I have such bad Karma?

Don't Forget To:

Follow me on Twitter!

Email me at StylePop101@gmail.com for future posts!

Check out my Instagram @StylePop101

"Know Your Place"

So Steve went for an interview today and I'm super pissed off lol

He woke up at 6AM to get coffee and breakfast and his mom fucking gets up too to lecture him about how he needs to take care of her when he starts his career, oh no apparently he's not allowed to have control over his life. His dad told him that if he gets this job he will buy him a brand new car (apparently they have money now? wtf? send his mom back!) and he chose an American car and his mom got pissed off because they decided that she shouldn't get one till later and she said that Steve should "know his place" -___-' really?

Apparently being a parent will make you automatically smarter... time to poop out a baby to bring up my IQ lol.

Talk about jealousy, she said "you're a student you shouldn't get an expensive car" (like $25,000, they bought him that lancer which was $30,000 when he was in high school) she's super pissed off that she doesn't get to have a new car now and according to her he needs to save all the money he makes when he starts his career and I mean ALL his money. She wants to keep their joint bank account so that she can take control of his money and she says to him "oh I don't want to spend your money I just want to help you save it" umm.. wtf I have a savings account where I'm not allowed to touch the money unless I call them and it takes them 24 hours to move the money and I'm sure I can put on more restrictions if I want to.

Anyways he did well in his interview and then his mom was freaking out at church boasting about it etc etc.. its kind of funny because before she was pretty embarrassed telling people about him or hardly talked about him and for the past few years his parents have been hardcore pushing sciences/business programs onto him

In case your wondering why I'm pissed off its because I woke up early because they wouldn't STFU and let me sleep -____-' (I went to bed pretty late too like 2:30AM >.<) I get super grumpy when I'm sleep deprived lol.

Now to nap, I'm not sure how much of this will make sense... hahaha real blog post to go up later lol

Don't Forget To:

Follow me on Twitter!

Email me at StylePop101@gmail.com for future posts

Check out my Instagram @StylePop101

It Has Begun

OK Steve's mom is starting to piss me off now lol.

How fucking dependent are you going to be when you have kids AND a husband!?

Ok so... Steve's mom had like a job for two weeks at a sushi restaurant as a waitress and then she quit because she said it was "too overwhelming" I get that it could be for someone who hasn't worked in like 30 years but wtf you know your financial situation and she's got nothing else going on here! Does she really think that one day of not cleaning the house will result in the apocalypse? She only worked 4 hour shifts 3 times a week!

She also expects to be a care aid which is like 100x harder than being a waitress! wtf! I have a feeling that she's going to go to school, get her certificate or whatever and then quit because it'll be too stressful for her -__-'

**********

We went to the car dealership today because she's been pissing us off the past few weeks because she wanted Steve to find her a new car but HOLY CRAP she is so fucking picky! We found so many good options but she either didn't like the color or the mats in the car or some other stupid cosmetic reason. We test drove a 2010 Toyota Corolla S yesterday that was like BRAND NEW it looked so good, had low kilometers and like a small accident that only damaged the bumper (so nothing major) and it was priced at $14,800 (at the Mazda dealership in North Vancouver) so after tax and documentation fees and all that it was close to $17,000. The smart cookie that she is she offered $15,000 with tax included and everything. Even I knew that the manager wouldn't shave off like $2000 off of that like REALLY, they can easily sell that vehicle for the asking price! WTF

Today we went to the Toyota dealership because she wanted to take a look at some of the used cars there. Ok so she refused to buy mazda 2, mazda 3, honda civic because she didn't want to pay a lot for car maintenance and fuel and then what does she get? a fucking 2002 Audi A4.

My old manager's mom had one and something happened to the engine (the belt or something?) and then it messed up the whole engine so it was either buy a new car or get a new engine that was worth a new car, you tell me what he chose. Yet his mom was smart enough to get one, not only that maintenance on this car I expect will be expensive as well as gas.

Anyways after they buy the car she doesn't even fucking drive it! She makes Steve do it! like WTF!

Are you not getting a car for yourself? Why make your son do it? What's the point in having two vehicles if you aren't going to drive it? Are you that dependent on someone to do it for you?! Or are you just lazy?

I'm so frustrated! Such a lazy dependent woman! I blame Steve and his dad for enabling her to do all this crap!

**********

Here's something juicy but its a theory not fact but the puzzle pieces fit, I'll just have to wait and see how this plays out.

Steve's mom apparently told him some sob story about her getting abused by her dad right before she came here. Which may or may not have happened, I know its common in Asia especially old fashioned families like his. From what I've heard he's never raised his hand at her before but there's got to be a reason for him to do it. Even so Dr. Phil always says "a man should never raise their hand to a woman, its not a fair/equal fight"

However! If there was any reason for his dad to do it and the reason why she came here, I think, was because his mom was stealing money from his dad and secretly stashing it somewhere and he found out and then she fled the country.

So apparently his dad had full access to her bank accounts previously. Because well she didn't work and she needs money to spend right? What's the point in giving her cash all the time when he can just transfer it online straight into her bank account so she can withdraw it whenever she wants. But months before she came she changed all her passwords so he couldn't get access to them to see how much she was spending he was only allowed to deposit and she cancelled her smartphone too O_O Hmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since she came here her sister has been secretly sending her money. I thought to myself "If I knew Ashley had kids and a husband I wouldn't want her to send me money because well her family should come first even if they were super wealthy" I'm thinking that her sister has access to his mom's bank account and that his mom has actually been secretly stealing money from their dad these past few months which would make sense because she keeps shit talking about him to Steve (to which Steve believes his mom of course since they have a better relationship) she said that "he's been acting strange" but It strikes me odd that she came here for no reason and now she's doing absolutely nothing... no work, no school just nothing! Take care of her son? pfft yeah right more like alienate and dictate >.<

Not only that Steve is so stupid for enabling her he thinks she's going to just work and live on her own and be independent? He needs to get real.

What are your thoughts?

Don't Forget To:

Follow me on Twitter!

Email me for future posts!

Check out my Instagram @StylePop101!

Blog Changes 2013

Ok so I wanted to make changes to this blog before the New Year and that totally did not happen. Now that school has started again its going to be delayed again! >.<

Plus! I haven't been able to post as much as I'd like now that Steve's mom is hanging around the house, obviously I don't want her to find out about the blog since I am (in the words of Spencer Rice) "besmirching her character" lol and he'll probably be super pissy about me writing about him too which I don't really care about, its not like I'm plastering their photos all over the blog anyways and giving out their full names.

So now whenever I am alone or get the chance to go to a coffee shop where there's wifi, I write posts. The self-righteous parent post was written when I was in a Tim Hortons with Steve while he was studying across from me lol and it took me an hour or two to write it, he didn't notice at all.

Sometimes I think Steve knows but I'm pretty sure he doesn't since he hasn't asked about it lol. Basically the only person that knows about this blog is Ashley and her husband LOL, I didn't want to tell my friends because if they read it they would know I'm talking about them lol and plus it seems some of their emotions are out of wack at the moment so I'm not sure how they would comprehend what I write.

Plus I don't think you people are actually reading the crap I write here lol. "Oh its a crap blog, don't want to read it" *presses the back button* sounds right yes? lol

**********

I guess this year I really want to focus more on beauty/makeup brands that aren't Korean (I've been featuring them a lot) but still affordable, feature some local stores and restaurants here in Vancouver, get in shape unless I get super lazy about it which I think I will lol, post more outfits and I will obviously vent like mad here.

What would you like to see featured?

Don't Forget To:

Follow us on Twitter!

Email me about things you would like to see featured!

Check out my Instagram @StylePop101

Check out Ashley's Blog too!

Holidays

Ah.. Christmas where to begin?

When Ashley and I were little we would hear so much about Christmas from our teachers and classmates at school as well as movies/tv shows. Every year we would put out soy milk and Chinese almond cookies for Santa hoping he would come and give us the gifts we wrote him for. We would stay up late hoping that we could see him... then our mom would yell at us for wasting soy milk and almond cookies lol.

We always had the shittiest Christmas, the only thing we would ever look forward to during the holidays was getting time off school and sleeping in. On Christmas day our parents friends would come over and give me and my sister a gift as well as something for my parents. Me and Ashley would open the gifts and get super excited because we actually got gifts on Christmas, we would play happily with our gifts for a few days until my mom and dad would take them away, re-wrap them and give them to their other friend's kids as Christmas gifts because they were too cheap and lazy to go out and buy their kids gifts (they did this a lot with a lot of our stuff, I miss my bear lol)

Every year after that we never really had a good Christmas, when we got a little older my dad gave me and Ashley $50 to go buy a game we could get on our PC, I remember Ashley getting roller coaster tycoon (best game ever!) and sim city for me. I don't think I've ever had a good christmas, we never had anything good because my mom would freak out over the smallest things or just hurl insults and me (call me stupid and crazy and fat) and when I would ignore her and be super pissy at her and she would be like "why are you being so mean to your mother? it's Christmas!" WTF right?

This year is probably not really an exception, Steve's mom decided to come and stay for a month at our house O_O (last minute) thanks for ruining my time with Steve! he's probably going to move out in February anyways and I had so many things planned for us to do and its like I shouldn't plan anything from now on because people just can't let me have something, I just don't know what to do anymore.

I can't think of a good Christmas I've had without either my parents ruining it or now Steve and his family ruining it.

I know some Korean families don't celebrate Christmas anyways (read about it here) so I get why his mom is coming because its not really a family holiday for them but still I want to spend some time with him, so I guess I'm not going to go on any dates (not like we did anyway!) we can't do it without her hearing us LOL, and I don't get to cook what I want either because she's going to fill the whole refrigerator with nasty Korean stuff that neither me or Steve will eat! I mean its so infuriating that I have my own place and I can't voice out what I want to say without some unreasonable person(s) freaking out at me. Steve's going to Calgary for like a week in February and its not like he's going forever! why the fuck do you have to stay a fucking month? I hope her plane explodes!

Nothing good ever happens to me.

>.<

Don't Forget to:

Follow us on Twitter!

Send me an Email on products you'd like to see me try/buy

Check out our Instagram @StylePop101

Childish

So tonight I made a hot pot for dinner...

The whole day Steve was being a total asshole, kept asking me to clean things and
when I asked him to do stuff (like make rice) he would say "your not worth it"
and I was like WTF plus he was pinching and slapping me
(not hard but hard enough to kind of hurt) the whole day (on the arms and legs).

So when dinner rolled around I was already sleepy, I woke up at 6AM and I wasn't hungry or anything and Steve kept bitching to me about how he was hungry and he kept bitching to me
"make dinner, I'm hungry" bleeeeh so then I got up and made this weird hot pot thing LOL.

When I finished I went in the room and he was totally passed out on the bed but he got up to eat.
I didn't make him any dipping sauce (soy sauce and peanut butter with some hoisin lol) cause I figured he can do that himself, I fucking made dinner its the least he can do. Then he tried to steal mine and I told him to make his own and he threw his chopsticks and stormed off.

WTF.

He then said "How am I suppoed to know how to make the sauce!" and I said to him
"if you are going to act like a child and not ask politely then you don't deserve to eat"
he didn't say anything and now he's just sitting in the living room by himself reading lol.
I ended up throwing out a HUGE pot of noodles, tofu, sliced beef and pork, baby corn,
and enoki mushrooms, what a waste.

Woo the beginnings of an abusive relationship.

My friend told me my life is turning into the movie Enough (that movie with Jennifer Lopez, where her husband is a police officer and she gets physically abused) which now I can see, thank god he moves soon.

Another friend of mine warned me that if I date a Korean guy I should make sure he's not abusive because they have a reputation of being abusive. Boy am I lucky right?

I really think he would make the worst cop, he's too hot headed, impulsive and has a huge temper plus he could never take care of himself without someone there, when he moves out he'll have his mom or a room mate.

He'd probably a good soldier but not a good police officer.

Date Night Ruined

Steve and I haven't been out in ages for a date. Sure we go out and eat but the purpose is for sustenance not to be social and its usually take out or us eating out for 30 minutes. Sundays used to be our hang out day but lately he has been making plans with his school friends or working and we haven't had much time together.

I knew he had this Sunday off of work but then he randomly tells me he's going to some shooting range with some Korean people and then bowling with his classmates afterwards and I was kind of pissed off because its been like a few months since we actually went on a date.

I know he's moving out soon so I want to spend some time with him. I mean we live together and what not but we don't really hang out at home, we're in different rooms doing different things. The only time we hang out at home is if I ask him if he's hungry or when we're sleeping. So he promised me today that we would go out.

We went to the mall to grab dinner, a movie and look around and then he tells me about all these things he's got planned with other people this sunday and I ask him when the next time we're actually going to spend time together is, he says "well.. I'm not sure I'm busy with work and school stuff..." and I'm kind of like "... this seems ridiculous! I just want to spend some time with you before you move out because your mom is going to hoard all of your time and never let you see me." He just changed the subject and didn't answer me (He went to look at the stupid Ipod nano).

So I kept my distance with him tonight. If he doesn't want to make an effort why should I? I even told him that he just didn't say anything. I knew he was pissed off because he kept making a fist with his hand and I was like why are you pissed off? is this you trying? because its not working (in my head of course he'd probably punch me out if I said this out loud)

I don't understand why he can't just be honest with me its way better than being silent and making me even more confused.

Plus he fell asleep in the movie theatre!
what the hell! also Looper was a good movie, go watch it.

I'm at the end of my rope.
I guess it's just hard to let go.

Don't forget to:

Follow us on Twitter

Check out our Tumblr Blog

Also follow our Instagram at StylePop101

Midterms/Relationship rant

Very wordy post.

BRAIN EXPLOSION!
I totally procrastinated and am studying last minute for my exam.
I've crammed in 2 chapters of biology into my head already and I have 2 more to go and I feel so confused! I should become religious and stop believing in science because its just too much :P

*****

Last night I was studying really hard and was getting pissed off because the house was so messy. Steve came home from school and as soon as he did he just went onto his computer to play games. He has a midterm tomorrow (mine is today) so I asked him to clean the dishes because I was studying. It took him 6.5 hours to finally get up and wash them (he was playing sudden attack and an mmorpg with his friends during that time) at 2AM he gets up and does it. He knows if he doesn't do them I will eventually but I yelled at him lol.

I really don't ask for much around the house except take out the garbage because its heavy. In the past 6 months he's washed dishes 3 times so I'm kind of like wtf get up and clean! I have a midterm worth 30% of my mark!

Its no wonder his mom wants him to move out and become more "independent" (aka live with her so he can do all the errands for her)

 *****

It just blows my mind on how selfish some people can be. I usually buy the groceries and cook and clean and he does nothing (drive?) lol When I get overwhelmed I ask him to clean, it just takes a century for him to do it.  Its no wonder because he's used to his mom and sister doing all the housework.

His mom thinks that its the other way around and that he does everything and I just hang out... wtf. I remember when she came to visit last time and she got super pissed off at me because I turned off the lights she wasn't using in various rooms and it was like 10AM and she tells him that I have rage issues and that a normal person doesn't get as angry as much as I do.

I do things for a reason, I don't purposely go piss off people for no reason unless they piss me off first. Like the light thing, its 10AM!! who needs to turn on ALL the lights in the house when its nice and sunny out, what a waste of energy! open the curtain! she said that I had to consult her first before turning them off. Just who's house is this? your visiting! be considerate!

Plus the whole living situation thing, His mom is making him move out because she says she wants more control in the house and that when she stays here that she has no control and that my parents boss her around (err.. my mom just asks you if you want to go swim and my dad works all day) and that she says that Steve eats really unhealthy food because we have cans of soup (we don't eat them everyday wtf, we only bought them because they are cheaper in the states) Plus she's making him move right beside her best friend's place, convenient place for her right?

She says to me "You guys can date but marriage is not an option nor is living together 
(where was this a year ago when your son moved into our house? should've said something then!),
 your not Korean, you don't know Korean culture, You don't speak Korean. Marriage is about the joining of two families how are you going to do that if you don't understand Korean culture?" WTF then she bitched at me about not hanging out with his cousins when I was in Korea. Ok.. I hung out with them a few times and its my vacation too not just his. When my cousins were here Steve never hung out with mine, so fuck you!

Steve doesn't speak Cantonese and my parents don't give a shit. I grew up in Canada! I'm so freaking whitewashed! why do I have to put all the effort in to "become Korean" Shouldn't it be a mutual effort?

Seriously considering dating someone else if he doesn't do anything, who's mom does this? you would think she would be grateful because he pays like NO RENT and SHE STAYS FOR FREE.

I know his dad is unemployed right now and that she doesn't work so wtf. Go ahead and go out and pay $950+ for rent plus utilities lol. I know its eventually going to get to the point where his dad runs out of money and tells steve to quit school and work so he can pay the rent just like last time.

They're just excuses because they want full control of the kids. They want him to have a wife that will obey his family. In their family his parents happiness comes before their children's which apparently is normal for Koreans? according to his friend.

I remember chatting with his sister a few weeks ago and their mom wanted her to get rid of Facebook because their mom's friends daughter was engaged to this guy but he broke it off because his family found out that she had a previous relationship that was posted on Facebook. WTF who cares?! and that their mom wants her to break up with her boyfriend because he studies art again wtf! who cares? they don't mind when he buys her expensive things!

At the end of the day his parents just want to look good in front of other people. Its funny because they don't tell anyone his dad is unemployed and that her son lives with his girlfriend its better to be honest than lie to your "Friends."

Korean people is this normal?!
I heard from some of his friends this is really abnormal.
comment comment because I have no idea what to do/say anymore to get through to him!

rant rant rant rant...!
I'm so gonna bomb this exam!

PRIDE!!!