Sunday, January 29, 2017

2017 So Far...

Its almost been a full month into the new year.

I'm finding most nights I'm staying up really really late, I go to bed at around 5 or 6AM. It really doesn't help when I have shifts at work that start at 6AM lol but I manage.

Its not that I'm preoccupied with a lot of thoughts, I'm not even thinking about Steve anymore so I'm going to rule that out, I haven't even talked to him in a long time.

Although, I've been thinking about someone else that I work with a lot lately lol. I see his name EVERYWHERE and I didn't know that it was such a common name.. even various variations of that name and yes I have a major crush on this guy LOL, the thing is I barely see him at work and rarely get to talk to him since its been so busy. Everyone keeps telling me to ask him out but I'm SO SHY! -___-' plus I don't even know if he's single or not so until I know I'm not going to do anything about it.

My best friend seems to think I'm going to end up with him, only because he does tarot cards and has said that he's popped up in my readings a lot recently, and I don't even know what to make of what he said anyway so I'll just let it all play out and see but I am keeping my options open.

But! I hope he's right! This guy is like the TOTAL OPPOSITE of Steve. He's so nice! and not cocky at all (at least not right off the bat like Steve was) their personalities are very different, I think he suits being a nurse very well, a great bedside manner and can be tough with patients who are problematic, which is why I was attracted to him while I was still dating Steve (Steve on the other hand would just treat people like he was more superior than him, which he still does)

Some of my friends have been telling me to try online dating. But I know its not for me, honestly, a majority of my friends have dated someone online and it never ends well, mainly because the guy they've been seeing is SUPER FUCKED UP in some way or my friends would go crazy and end up treating them like shit.... plus I'm not one to talk to some stranger over the internet and then meet them, I've got paranoia about that...

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We have a new girl at work that NOBODY LIKES. She's brand new and just came out of school but she's worked in a different department in the hospital for a number of years so she has racked up quite the seniority and people are worried that she'll get a full time position ahead of some people who have been working in the lab for a number of years.

She's not that bad, I mean, I'm sure I was just as bad when I first started BUT there's a difference between the two of us. When mistakes are made, she doesn't learn from them, not only that, she has a terrible bedside manner, so a lot of people get nervous when she has to poke them... we've also had numerous complaints from patients... I doubt she'll get fired, I highly highly doubt it. Maybe she'll get better? But its been a while and she hasn't gotten much better...

I also screwed up my back recently, no idea how that happened but I almost had a week and a half off of work to nurse it back to work.

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I have two long vacations coming up this year, one in April and one in December. Depending on school in December I really would like to go to Asia or something.

I've been itching to go somewhere for a while but the problem is I want someone to go with! Ashley is busy with working and school and most of my friends are broke and I've got no boyfriend to go with lol! I'll think about where I want to go in April.... if anywhere...

So far this year... is confusing LOL

Will update again at the end of next month!

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Goodbye 2016

Everybody has been saying that 2016 has been a super shitty year.

For me, I would agree lol.

The beginning of 2016 was fine, I went to Hawaii again in February, moved out of the house away from my crazy parents, bought a car. Then Steve and I broke up in May after being in a relationship for nearly 6 years, lost basically most of our mutual friends (more about this later), got my drivers license lol after buying the car, moved back home, I got a permanent part time position at the hospital so no more random shifts as a casual, grew closer to some friends that I never expected to have and I supposedly have a random crush at work lol!

There's probably more in there somewhere but I just don't remember at this point lol.

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True Friends:

After the break up with Steve, there were some friends who I knew I would stop talking to, the question was: When?

The one that hurt me the most was Steve's friend whom he's known since high school, I actually went to his brothers wedding and was kind of close with his mom, whom is really sweet, anyway... Over the 5 years I knew this guy I was closer to him as a friend than Steve was (ironically his name is also Steve, we called him Steve 2), I helped him move (more than like 3 times!), gave him relationship advice, supported him when he was looking for work, we went out to eat numerous times just Steve 2 and I and we even shopping together when no one else would go with him. When Steve and I would fight before the official breakup he would always tell me things like "I'll never choose a side" "You'll always be my friend" but that was a big fat freakin lie lol.

When it came to the point where I chose to move back home, over the 5 years I knew him I never asked him for any kind of favour, I asked him to help me move home. I figured I helped this guy so many times over the years the least he could do was help me out this one time. But no. Steve told him some crap about me and he chose to pick a side. When he didn't reply to me I knew right away that he chose a side. He just blatantly ignored me and didn't even say anything to me afterwards. I was pretty offended. Steve doesn't even consider Steve 2 a close friend or anything.

Though, I guess I should've seen it coming. Bros before hoes right? There apparently is some "Korean Code" according to a friend of mine where they'll stick together no matter what. -___-'

At the end of the day here's what it comes down to: You shouldn't be friends with lying people, if they cheat on their partners what makes you think they won't betray you? (Steve of course not Steve 2, story on that another time)

All I can do is wish him the best, I blocked Steve 2 on instagram and on facebook and his phone number as well. There's nothing he could say to me at this point to make me think he's a good friend. Nor, is there anything that needs to be said on my end. The friendship was done the moment he chose to side with Steve and not say anything to me.

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Random Crush?

I can't remember when exactly my staff Christmas party was, I'm pretty sure it was in November. Anyway, I was the designated driver for a few coworkers of mine which sucked but I had to work the next day in the morning -__-' so I couldn't drink that much. I only had a rum and coke. Anyway, for like a month another coworker of mine and I couldn't figure out what to wear lol and were hoping to at least chat with some single guys from work lol.

One of the nurses who came to the party, rarely works at our hospital but works at a much bigger hospital most of the time, he just picks up shifts randomly. He's worked at our hospital for a long time so everybody knows him. He got SO DRUNK at this party which was hilarious but then he randomly comes up to me and my coworker and says: "So! Don't think this is weird or anything, I'm asking everybody... but, nobody brought their girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands or wives, so what's your excuse? Where's your boyfriend?" (he was directly asking me LOL) I told him I was single and he FREAKED OUT.

Later that night he questioned another coworker of mine that works at the same hospital as him now, about my current relationship status, how long I've been single for and if I'm into Asian guys LOL. Her response: "She's only dated an Asian guy for like nearly 6 years, I'm pretty sure she's done with them" lol! He didn't get her joke right away because he was so drunk.

Supposedly he has a friend who is into me... or he could be lying and talking about himself but I don't know!

When we left, I wanted to thank the nurse who invited us lab folk to the party and Allan (drunk nurse) was sitting with her. He looked so frustrated lol and he turns to me and says: "Look, I have a friend, a really stupid friend, who thinks you're nice, cute and pretty but he's too shy to ask you out!" and then he started mumbling other stuff that I couldn't really make out (there was a point in the party where he was dancing and drinking a whole bottle of wine to himself)

Anyway, there is supposedly a guy named Alfred who's into me. BUT I'VE NEVER MET AN ALFRED AT WORK BEFORE. So I don't know if he told my coworker a random name or what but I have no idea who this guy is lol, she knows a guy named Alfred that's Asian and that has worked at our hospital but we don't know if this guy even works there still or not. Alternatively, it could be 2 other guys at work. All I know is, this guy is Asian and there are 2 Asian nurses I've worked with directly one is Anthony, he's pretty cute and he seems nice but I haven't directly talked to him before lol and then there's other Alan... who is so cute! I have like the biggest crush on this guy LOL, I'm really hoping its him but I'm too shy to talk to him more... Here's the thing... he also rarely works at our hospital, he works together with other Allan at the bigger hospital... here's to hoping its him! lol! That would totally make up for last year lol.

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He's leaving...

Steve goes off to depot for a few days. I'm still pissed off at the fact that the RCMP haven't given him a freaking psychological interview, seriously. There are a few things that seem so questionable that he put into his package that would seem like a big red flag for them... excessive force in a previous job, sexual assault... yeah...

Honestly, as much as I wanted him to get a job in policing, he's simply not ready still. He's still young, I would say give him a year or two to work on some things and mature and try to become more independent. He was literally gonna get a tattoo a few days ago, he was dead set on it, he wanted to get a tattoo before depot because after he's done the RCMP have to approve whatever he gets afterwards so... he went to the tattoo shop and they put the tracing thing on him to show him what it would look like on him and he paid a deposit. I seriously know him too well, he told his parents and he didn't end up getting it. His family is super conservative of course they would freak out. So in the end, he lost his $80 deposit because mom and dad said no LOL.

I just get a really bad feeling about him becoming a police officer... based on however many years I've had this blog, I hope some of you can get an idea of what kind of guy he is... and what kind of police officer he will be when he is done depot.

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2017 Plans?

For the past few years I think I wrote, get a drivers license lol. Now that I have that I'm thinking of something simpler... I think I would like to try to run in a marathon but! I would like to have a running buddy if possible lol and NONE of my friends exercise >.<

I have to big vacations in 2017, one in April and one in December and I'm hoping to go back to Asia this year... but I don't know yet.. depends on funds and who is available to come with me lol. Or! I could go to Hawaii again LOL I really miss it there T_T

Oh ya and I'm back at school again, I'm taking prerequisites to get into the nursing program and math starts next week.... I HATE MATH SO MUCH! I really hope I pass...

Anyways, I hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Years!