Desperation

Its been a while since I talked about Steve's family, I think... lol I haven't really read my blog posts in a while.

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Round 1

The past few months especially have been the weirdest. Steve's mom wanted to buy a house a few months ago, she freaked out because she thinks that its the only time she can get a house so she's been desperate trying to buy one in North Van.

When she was told that she can't get one because she doesn't make enough income she asked Steve's sister and him to be co-signers for the mortgage, it still wasn't enough and it didn't get approved.

So since it wasn't approved she is forcing them to move out of their current apartment, why? We don't really know why LOL we were like yeah you couldn't get a house - but it doesn't mean you have to move... its kind of illogical and an inconvenience for everyone that you live with.

They should really stop letting his mom make decisions for their family. She's too impulsive and she doesn't really think ahead about how it affects other people.

I'm kind of worried about Steve co-signing a mortgage with his mom and sister (I'm not the only one) because I kinda had a goal to get a place for us within like 5 years (like a townhouse or an apartment) but him co-signing a 15 year mortgage with 2 other people would be difficult for us to get a place one day.

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Round 2

We thought since they didn't get approved his mom would stop looking at houses and actually look for a place to rent but nope!

The house they went to look at most recently is actually near my house and its a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom place and its a fixer upper (unfinished basement, roof needs replacing, flooring needs to be replaced), they want to renovate it and then sell it within 2 years.

They went and put an offer on that house and its about $679,000 for the house and the offer they put it was about $630,000? something like that and the owner of the house is refusing the offer because I guess they think the house is worth more? (its not lol) so they said $670,000 take it or leave it.

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Final Round

So here is where it gets fucked up for me and my family. Instead of looking for a place to move into next month they were just looking at houses, why? Priorities? lol its like yeah you can put an offer on a house but you won't always be able to move into it right away. So Steve's mom wants to come back and live at our house (for 2-3 months) and the only person she asked was my mom. She didn't ask what me or my dad wants and the thing is our mom doesn't make household decisions like that.

Of course she would ask my mom because they get along and she knew my mom would say yes. I told Steve that NO WAY that I will let that happen it was just absolute hell when she lived here, the suite they used to live in isn't even available for them to rent so the only option is the tiny little room near the garage and it really isn't big enough for 2 people and a dog.

So I talked to Steve about how its definitely not going to work, I explained to him how last time his mom lived here the utility bills were so high and I said it wouldn't matter if she paid for it this time around because she's just too loud and inconsiderate and then adding his sister and the dog? its just not going to work. It'll work out for her but it'll stress the shit out of everyone else in the house.

I go on practicum soon and I don't want to be woken up at 5AM because she decided to call someone in Korea and put them on speaker phone so everyone can hear or us hearing her argue with his sister or Steve. Or hear Monet excessively barking.

Its just not going to work plain and simple, I explained it to him and he told his mom that it isn't going to work, her reaction? SUPER PISSED OFF she absolutely hates my dad even though I told Steve that it was mostly my decision. But you know, she should have said something months ago instead of last minute like she always does.

At the end of the day its like if she's making all these decisions for her family, why is it that she has to drag my family into it? I mean its not like me and Steve are fully committed (no ring on ma finger! lol) I'd probably be a little more ok with it if that were the case (probably not though LOL) and if our roles were reversed his mom would not help us in any way.

Plus it'd be beneficial for Steve to live away from his mom and sister. I don't know why they are so dependent on him... laziness? Probably.

At this point his mom is on her own agenda and because we're not doing what she wants, she's super pissed off and its time she deals with her problems like an adult. 

*UPDATE BONUS ROUND*

I knew Steve would pussy out about living in our house. His mom won't let him move out for the next 2-5 years because he has to help pay for the mortgage because they finally got a place in North Van (its a town house in East North Van)

All his friends are even like "WTF why are you getting a mortgage with your mom? Don't get one!" his answer? "I have no choice" ... REALLY! YOU CAN SAY NO, fucking idiot! he's too scared of his mom.

So if we got married and etc, then its really up to me to deal with the big expenses (like buying a property, etc) but he won't be allowed to live with me unless he is contributing to mortgage/rent cause wtf, really!

Here we go again!

So we've been going back and forth about going to the states. I got the Ok from Steve on Friday about us going today and then this morning his fucking mom decides (last minute) that she wants a bunch of shit done and she's so fucking stupid she can't do it her fucking self so she has to make Steve do it. And of course the little puppet is doing what it is told and he wants to leave early to deal with his mom's stupid bullshit.

She knew full well that we are leaving today, she could have mentioned this shit yesterday, or the day before. Nope, she has to spring it up last minute because I guess her little mind processed the fact that she was going to be alone for a few days and she couldn't handle that.

I mentioned in August that his mom was getting pissed off because I wanted to visit my sister and since she wanted to go shopping in the states we might as well go for a visit, she absolutely, unequivocally knew that I won't be able to see her until December and Steve promised me that we would come down now.

Steve and I argued through text messages about why we have to come back early for the simple errands she can do herself and he told me "you won't understand because its a cultural thing" HOW IS IT A CULTURAL THING? EVEN MY KOREAN FRIENDS AT SCHOOL TOLD ME THIS IS ABNORMAL!!!!! and I understand full well your mom is incapable of doing anything beneficial for your family now, its official. Its no wonder why his fathers side of the family absolutely hates her, she contributes nothing but reaps the rewards.

She leaves to Korea on Thursday (hope she gets murdered) and the plan was to stay at Ashley's place till Wednesday morning, like fuck we literally see his mom everyday, Steve does everything for her everyday, HE DID HER FUCKING HOMEWORK FOR HER YESTERDAY! And he went to the store to get a duplicate receipt for her laptop that she lost and did her fucking banking, while she did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

How does she expect to care for geriatric patients when she can't even figure out youtube? or google?

Her view on homosexuality is absolutely horrid. She is extremely uneducated when it comes to homosexuality and sex. She said to me "Do all gay people have HIV?" "They're all mentally retarded right?" "they must have a mental condition" "does his dick not work?" "if you have anal sex you automatically get HIV right?" I was absolutely shocked when I heard these words spoken out of her mouth, she seriously flipped out when she found out Anderson Cooper was gay. When she told me all this I told Steve "your mom is absolutely ignorant when it comes to sex and homosexuality and we need to educate her" and he said to me "all Koreans think like that so whatever leave her alone" (<--WRONG!) and then she asks me to ask my homosexual friend's mom to help her get a job when she graduates, umm no fuck you, he owes you nothing especially after basically saying that he's mentally retarded.

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Every week since she started school its "amanda can you edit this for me?" or "can you write this for me?" and "can you read this and tell me what it means?" and she knows that I go to school full time for ACTUAL CREDITS THAT COUNT FOR SOMETHING not for some stupid program that finishes in 4 months with a practicum that is full of people who don't speak or write english well. Grades don't matter in this class she's taking, they're passing this girl that has failed every single exam that should be getting 20% So yeah I don't think it really matters if I edit her crap or not. If I don't do it, Steve ends up doing it.

So basically its like why even go to school if your not willing to do the work? She paid Steve $100 to do her 6 page project on elder abuse and I'm guessing that she didn't learn anything about that. She's like "I got an A" on random projects we did and its like no you didn't we did lol.

Basically we're leaving a day early now, which is fine I wanted to leave on Wednesday (the more time we can spend away from her the better) but a day early is better than nothing and really its not like Steve likes his mom at all, he even told me that. They don't get along, they barely talk to each other unless she wants him to do/give her something and they pretty much have nothing in common besides the fact that they are related. But he insists that he's the son and he has to do these things because its the Korean way and my friends at school (who are Korean) counter-argued that and said that they are the eldest sons and even their mothers don't do these things.

I have a feeling plans will change again real soon, will keep this updated as things progress throughout the day.

I hope to god Karma gets her.

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Money and Relationships

I wish Steve was more aware of what he does and says around people instead of blaming them when I point out some of his issues.

We went out for dinner last night with my good friend and her boyfriend from college at a Chinese restaurant. We went to the bank beforehand because I told him "Its a Chinese restaurant its probably cash only, you should take out some cash" and he says to me "Why would they have cash only? Most places accept debit/credit so I'm not taking out cash" so in my head I was like this is going to be complicated later.

Generally when I go out with my friends I like to take out cash if its an Asian restaurant (for some reason most of them here accept cash only) and its better to pay in cash if its a group of people because its easier to figure out who paid for what.

Anyways, we ordered a few dishes to share amongst ourselves and when the bill came it was $60 including tip it was about $66 so I put down $20, my friend and her boyfriend put down $40 and Steve just sat there and was like "do they accept debit/credit?" I was like "seriously? this is why you take out cash" and then he asks "Does this place accept American dollars?" >.< !!!!!!!!!!! yes because most family run restaurants accept foreign currency ...

So my friend and her boyfriend ended up having to pay the difference because I only took out $20 and put down all the change I could and we all left awkwardly. I did scold him in the car on the way home he said he'll pay the whole thing next time but I doubt he will and then he got SUPER defensive and said "if she would just check her phone when you asked if it was cash only we wouldn't have this problem!!" even so I wish he would just take responsibility or even thank them for the meal but that wasn't the only issue.

At some point in the dinner he said "I can hit my girlfriend whenever I want (he doesn't) but I choose not to" and we were all like silent and awkward because he wants to be a police officer and its something you probably don't want to say out loud in a public place, even if it was a joke. When I brought this up today he said "they're just closed minded" -___-'

Financially this isn't the first time something like this has happened with the same friend. We went out for dim sum once and the bill was $50 my friend only had a $50 bill and didn't want to use her credit card. I gave my friend $20 and Steve took the $50 and paid with his credit card, the whole amount so basically he didn't pay for any of the food and she was like wtf and said that she's never seen him pay for anything.

Most of the time when we go out with his friends one of his friends pays for him because he says he's totally broke, which isn't the case. He's just saving money for stupid shit LOL. I talked to his friend about that today and he said that he knows that he has no money and one day he'll pay him back -__-' does he really think that his girlfriend who lives with him doesn't know him at all? Then he said "the person who is most financially stable should pay" -___-' !!!!!!! Ok I must be dealing with really inconsiderate people. Even if you make more money doesn't mean you should pay for people who  make less money than you... if you choose to go out you should pay for yourself, its not the responsibility of others!

Argh its just giving me a headache and I know that when Steve gets home he's going to rage and break something and he'll blame it on others instead of taking responsibility. A lot of people don't like his cocky attitude (I can't blame them)

Don't get me wrong I like that he's confident (most of the time) but when he's around certain people it just triggers his douchebag side. The problem is talking to him about certain issues because he doesn't like to talk about serious topics.

So tell me, how would you go about this issue?

Poop.

*update* Now that I think more about it I wish my friend would have handled this situation better than she did. I mean she could have said something then and there (he did ask if there was an atm but they said nothing) instead of staring at him all awkwardly or even given us a heads up on this place being cash only since we've never been to this place before. I'm not sure what I want to do but Steve is still oblivious to people's feelings and he should town down his cocky attitude when its someone sensitive. So far its ended on bad terms since neither of them want to see each other ever again :(

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April Update Part 2

Sorry for the lack of posts lately...

So... Steve's mom and sister are here...

His sister brought her dog... and then I get the news that his mom wants his sister to concentrate on school so she's making us take care of her dog. FUCKING DID NOT EVEN ASK!!!!!!! Not only that the dog isn't house trained, its not spayed so she'll get her period or something and is super whiny if you leave! 

This is why you shouldn't date an Asian person who's family doesn't live in the same city... make sure they have their own place to live and that their mom isn't inconsiderate -___-'

Not only that we found out that his sister is going back to Korea in July and when she comes back she's going to bring their grandma here to visit minimum 1 month to a maximum of 6!!!!! WTF!!

They want to open a business here in Vancouver, specifically a sushi restaurant... I was like really? Do you know how many sushi restaurants are here?! I don't think they could stand apart from any other sushi restaurant not only that they don't have any experience with working in a restaurant, they want the dad to be a chef and he has never worked in a kitchen ever! I told his sister that they should just open a food truck, seems less risky than paying rent for an establishment and they can change the menu on a daily basis if they wanted to, at least that's what I would do.

For example look at Japadog, they started out with a few hotdog stands and now they have an actual sit down restaurant and they even have a Japadog restaurant in New York!

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Ashley and her husband came up to pick up their friends and we were going to go do the grouse grind but it was closed. So then we had the plan to go run on the seawall instead -____-'

Such a gorgeous day for a run!

But... I didn't end up running LOL, I walked instead. They totally just zoomed passed me.. T_T I need to exercise more lol. Its a good thing we went when we did because it started pouring rain right when we got back to Ashley's mother-in-laws house.

The reason why I didn't run was because I walked some stupid trail to the gym the other day and that took me an hour to get through and my shoes sucked butt plus it was pouring rain, not a good idea. My shoes were digging into the back of my foot and eventually the skin on the back of my foot ripped >.< Yay! lol. Before I got to the gym I was like "oh I'm so lucky my feet aren't wet from the rain" and then I walked into a massive puddle -___-' WTF! lol. My feet dried from being at the gym and then I went to meet my friends at the mall across the street for a cup of tea and I walk into ANOTHER giant puddle that soaked my feet >.< I was not impressed lol.

 When Ashley was here they took me to the foundation restaurant in Vancouver, which is a vegetarian dive like restaurant. Her husband ordered this giant platter which was $12 O_O

Since they're on a diet they don't order crappy food but this place has MASSIVE nachos that I want, so I'm going to go back with Steve and get them lol.

 Ashley's Curry

 I got some quinoa burger thing which was a little dry to be honest but tasted alright 

it was quite big

We also had dinner with Ashley's friends from Montreal that run this company which is worth checking out :D and we ordered tons of sushi >.< which I didn't end up taking a photo of (wish I did)

I always feel bad when Ashley's husband pays for me, one day I'm going to stick like $10,000 somewhere in their house LOL, like seriously I'll put it in one of his shoes or something, its a nice gesture and all but I always feel like a user >.< 

I'll pay you back one day!

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How To Be An Asshole 2012

LOL ok I have no idea why people have been super pissing me off for a while now, maybe because I haven't seen most of my friends in a while and I haven't been able to vent with them (or about them) plus I'm stressed because Steve hasn't cleaned or he cleaned the house really poorly lol but I've been quite on the edge O_O (his mom will say that I'm not a good girlfriend and can't take care of him or myself because I can't clean even though I haven't been home in like a month -__-' slut)

I think I'm an asshole to be honest lol maybe not I don't know.. but in my opinion I am, because I'm lazy lol. Sometimes when I have plans I forget and just take a nap without calling my friends LOL I guess that's pretty much it lol and I blog about how Steve's mom is a bitch... But lately this has been the crap that has pissed me off in the past year and I think you're a super big asshole if you do any of these things lol.

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1. Invite yourself unannounced to somebody's house, eat all their food, use up as many utilities as possible, stay for as long as you want without consulting them, make a mess and then demand that everyone do what you tell them to.

• This is what Steve's mom does! LOL, when she comes she acts like the queen of the world. Because we're younger than her she expects us to bend over backwards to every demand she makes, she hates me because I don't listen to her lol. I'll dedicate a nice blog post on her soon lol.

2. Only hang out with friends that have lots of money who are really inconsiderate or ones that can drive because you don't know how to and refuse to take the bus and never hang out with your good friends.

• This has been nagging me for a while. I have a friend who I consider a good friend or did but he/she has been blowing me off for other "friends" who have a lot of money that they want to take advantage of. Otherwise if that friend had no money whatsoever then they wouldn't hang out with them at all because that person is also not a good friend. I want to warn that friend but I know he/she will just say I'm lying because I rarely hang out with them but I know that they really do want to take advantage of them because they told me they are trying to O_O why am I friends with this person!? lol they just turn into another person when we are all together! such a suck up!

3. Do whatever the fuck you want and not think about the consequences later.

• This one probably appeals to most people lol but most of you won't do it because you would probably get arrested or murdered by some random people. I've come to the conclusion (with some help) that my mom is a crazy asshole lol (ok the people who haven't actually read anything I've written before about her go read it and come back!) Anyways she just doesn't give a shit about what she does (stealing, lying, destroying, speaking, driving) because she knows she can get away with it (and has) because she tells people either she doesn't understand English at all, pretends to be super retarded or she had surgery... This is a long story which I will post about, people have told me that I should write a tv show about her lol.

4. Listen in on other people's conversations and then rudely interrupt them and then give them unwanted advice they don't want to hear and then yell at them for ignoring you.

•  There is this random creepy guy that fucking lives near my house and everytime I wait for the bus or on the bus I'll be either with my friends or on the phone and he fucking just interrupts us to try to join in on our conversations like he's our new best friend, its really annoying and he's a fucking 70 year old man. He freaks out if we tell him to go away or if we don't say anything "your parents are pieces of shit because they didn't teach you idiots any manners" yeah I freaked out at this psycho a few times and tried to call the cops and I've seen him arrested a few times and kicked off buses, skytrains and the seabus. Steve told me he's seen him in the hospital psychiatric ward a few times too lol. In general I think its a asshole-y thing to do, fuck off and listen to music nobody wants advice from a stranger unless they ask for it.

5. Wal-mart (especially North Vancouver's Wal-mart)

• This happened to me a few months ago. I have one item in my hand (a box of tampons lol) and I've been waiting in the express lane for about 10 minutes because the cashier decides to have a long conversation with her friend that is buying 3 items (there's one other person ahead of me) Another cashier turns on their light and waves me over, I point to myself and say "are you talking to me?" and he says yes. So I start heading over there when the cashier I was in the line for in the beginning freaks out at me and says "You have to wait in the line with everyone else!" and I say "oh the guy over there waved me over" and then the security guard that was standing near the door comes up to me and says "nice try" I just got so fucking angry and the cashier that waved me over said "I waved her over" he was in shock lol the other cashier says "she has to wait like everyone else" to which the guy said "she was waiting she was after this woman". I was so pissed off, I waited 10 minutes in line for two people to buy 3-5 items each but the cashier decides to have a conversation with her friend instead of doing her job and then freaks out because some other cashier waved me over.. I was so angry I just left my one item and went somewhere else to buy it, I wanted to punch that security officer in the face for coming up to me like that, but he was like 65 years old and fat so.. yeah lol. But I am never shopping there ever again.

6. Go to a bus stop and push and shove people out of the way to get on the bus first even though you just arrived before the bus did.

• HOLY SHIT lol ok, Me and Ashley were in Hawaii and we were waiting for a bus for about 30-40 minutes, there's a nice line going and everything seems to be in order and not in chaos. Then the bus comes and a random Korean family pushes everyone out of the way and says "ken-chun-ah, ken-chun ah!" they keep screaming it at each other while they were pushing and buttered EVERYONE and made it onto the bus, and I'm like no its not alright! you can do that in Korea but not here WTF!!!!!!!! everyone was so pissed off and they knew it would piss people off too, its not like they weren't going to get a seat anyways and I don't see why they think they have a right to do this! bah! why so inconsiderate!?!

 Yep I was really angry lol

7. Get your friend to pay for dinner and then order as much food as possible or order the most expensive items.

• A few times my friends have taken me out to dinner because I've bought them something or let them borrow a few dollars but I always feel guilty when they do because I feel like they don't really owe me anything. I treated a friend to dinner a few months ago because I borrowed like $20 from him because I didn't have any cash on hand. He knew full well how much I owed him and he said "instead of giving me the $20 why don't we just go out and have a small lunch and you can pay?" I said ok and we went to a restaurant we go to often and we usually order the same thing (sandwich and soup that comes to about $15 per person) but he decides that day that he wants a pitcher of hard lemonade, 3 appetizers, soup and sandwich, a dessert as well as an extra entree to take home for dinner later. I was so angry, I didn't want to say anything because he freaks out over these things WTF. I know his situation with money is not so great these days but he also knows that mine isn't either. This was the first time he ever did it and I told him a few days later that I wouldn't be doing that anymore and that from then on we'd be paying for whatever we order ourselves and that I would just give him the cash instead he says to me "if you offer to pay then you should pay instead of making up excuses for others to pay for you" I was like fuck you! didn't talk to him for a month LOL.

8. When your friend goes on vacation demand a gift or give them money to buy you something you can easily get online.

• Every time I go on vacation my friend says to me "oh what are you going to buy me?" or "I'll give you money so you can buy me X" and it always pisses me off, I'll probably buy you something anyways but you shouldn't expect it, I want to relax when I'm on vacation. When I went to Korea in the summer my friend wanted me to get him some random stuff from there and converted money before even asking me. I was pretty pissed off because not only did he not ask me first and had converted the money (therefore he assumed I would just do it), I have to go out of my way during my vacation to find the store that sells the products he wanted and sacrifice luggage space for him -__-' I mean I didn't pay $1500 to travel halfway across the world to buy you stuffed animals and stationary >.< plus he could've bought all of that stuff online for the same price.

9. Talk down to people because you are older than them but not smarter

• I'm basically applying this to how Asian culture is. Just because you are older than the person doesn't mean that you are smarter and can fucking boss them around. I mean I would think we have passed all of that stupid crap by now but no, stupid Asian pride! get over yourselves! There are tons of super smart, successful people in the world who have accomplished so much. But stupid Asian people talk/look down to them (the Asian ones) because some of them are young, wtf! like my mom for example, my friend has her own successful business that she runs and she's 23 and my mom talks to her like she's deaf or has a mental handicap, its ridiculous! I no longer bring my friends home. For some reason I can never see Asian people overcoming this because they'll just say "its how it works in China/Korea/Vietnam or wherever and its been the culture for X amount of years" and its like ok you can keep your close mindedness to yourself and not evolve like everyone else. Yes I understand its rude not to be nice to your elders but when you haven't accomplished as much as the person your doing it to has then shut the fuck up you've done nothing in your life. Housewives don't count because anybody can fucking poop out a baby and many women work and take care of the family, I find them lazy.

10. Only talk about your own problems and refuse to listen to advice

• My friend always invites me out to go have a coffee with him or dinner/lunch but whenever we go out he only talks about himself and how his life sucks and when I try to steer the conversation to something totally different he manages to turn it around on himself. I've told him a few times that he's narcissistic and sometimes conceited >.< which he just says "bitch please" I even sometimes talk about my problems and he'll just be like "oh it'll be fine, doesn't matter" and then turn the focus back on him its like SERIOUSLY? and usually he'll ask me what he should do and I try to give him advice but he just refuses to listen to it or tells me its wrong, WHY ASK IF YOU REFUSE TO LISTEN!? 

So do you do any of these things? or know anybody that does? This is definitely the tip of the iceberg probably will do another one in 2013 LOL.

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