Over It

As most of you know, I love to bitch about my shitty parents.

I've really just had enough, they don't listen to reason and think they're the greatest thing ever and just put me down all the fucking time and I'm just done and over it.

I had the mentality of "when my parents get old I'll take care of them because they paid for my education and stuff" but FUCK THAT, they really think they can treat their kids like pieces of shit and then get rewarded for it when they get old just because they paid for education (only college nothing else).

They gave us NO LIFE SKILLS WHATSOEVER they just thought the government and the schools will handle it all. We don't know how to swim, ride a bike, drive a car or anything! I learned how to fucking cook in grade 11! Through a cooking program my school offered. At least Steve's shitty parents gave all of that to them but not our parents, I'm fucking learning how to drive like 10 years after Steve got his license.

Then my mom goes on to say "all of your cousins are better than you because they know how to do drive and do all these things and YOU DON'T" I'm like WTF, MAYBE ITS BECAUSE THEIR PARENTS LOVED THEM AND WANTED THEM TO SUCCEED IN LIFE. Seriously any time my mom had the funds to put us in a extra curricular class or program or anything that can help us boost our education or life skills she'd spend it all at the casino and my piece of shit dad didn't care he was just like "well as long as I'm feeding you, you'll be successful" What an idiot.

I feel so robbed out of my childhood and my life, all of my friends have supportive parents who pushed them into great careers and its given them great life skills and their parents supported them throughout their school careers and work lives and mine are just fucking crazy and abusive (mentally).

They're going to get the consequences of treating people like shit, their ultimate karma, loneliness but I guess they still have each other until one of them dies, I really will not ever forgive them for doing these things to me and Ashley, why should I? They''ll think they're right still because "they had us." I guess its the Asian mentality of "I had you so I'm right and you're wrong because I'm older than you" that bullshit.

I've wished death on my parents for many many years and now I just hope that it comes before I finish school so I can at least have some peace of mind instead of being a hermit at home and not talk to anyone that comes in the house.

I'm just going to try my best to graduate and get my ass out of this house for good and never see them ever again. My cousins, aunts, uncles can guilt trip me all they want about how I should take care of them because they "took care" of me and my sister but fuck that.

I am not rewarding abusers and nobody ever should if their parents treat them like shit.

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Sana: Pore Putty BB Cream

Japanese BB Cream!

I've seen this product on sale at T & T supermarket in Vancouver (specifically the metrotown location) but I never thought about buying it, plus they jacked up the price on this product so its a good thing I ordered it off Sasa.

 Its actually quite a small bottle

Only 30g.. its quite a small, cute bottle but a little goes a long way with this. 

 Oh man gotta do the nails.. lol

No pump >.< but it has a nice dispenser and also dispenses cleanly. The BB cream has SPF 50+  in it and it doesn't claim to have any anti-wrinkle ingredients or whitening effects but it is nice and creamy, as far as I know there's only one shade available on Sasa (I'm not entirely sure if there are other shades..) it has pretty good coverage (I would say its medium coverage but buildable)

 From makeup free, to bb cream on, to the end of the day

Ok! So I decided not to use primer with this BB cream because I wanted to test it without a primer, the first few hours were fine but throughout the day I felt my face become more and more oily (I have oily/combination skin) I did set the BB cream with powder. I feel like if you do use a mattifying primer this bb cream would be amazing. It covers my redness really well, as well as, a few blemishes I have on my skin.

I'll have to give it a go again with a mattifying primer hopefully I'll have better results at the end of the day.

If you don't have oily skin then I think this would be great for your skin :) give it a go!

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Nude Lips - Your lips but better?

 Nude colors aren't for everyone. 

Your lips but better? Not all nude shades work well I've experimented with some nude colors and most don't seem to work for me lol. I think they look nice and all but for some reason they just look so odd on me.

Here's how it went with the nude colors lol.. it ain't pretty.

Apocalips - #100 Phenomenon

I love the colored Apocalips lip lacquers but not a big fan of this, its easy to add too much of this on the lips and make your lips look crazy lol, especially with my skintone, I can work it if I put a little on for subtlety but I don't think it works that well for me, so I will not repurchase lol.

 Rimmel - Moisture Renew #642 Nude Delight

 Slightly darker than the Apocalips one but not by much. Much better than the lip lacquer but I was hoping for more pigmentation from this lipstick. But for a drugstore brand its worth the price. Moisturizing, a great nude for the winter time.

 Nyx - Butter Gloss BLG 05 Creme Brulee

Oh man this smells heavenly, I literally want to eat this lol. It really makes your lips better and feel moisturized. Nothing negative that I can say :)

Keep in mind that although I personally don't like nude colors on my lips it doesn't mean you won't either. I just prefer a subtle pop of color :P What's great about all these products here is that they're all affordable! Give it a shot and let me know how it went!

I find that pink works better on my lips than actual nude colored ones, will do a blog post on that later!

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Happy Birthday Ashley!

Sweet Asian haircuts

Yaaay! its Ashley's birthday today!

So much has happened this year! 

Ashley competed in her first show, learned how to drive and more! 

Hopefully next year will be even more awesome (well yeah cause Sailormoon comes out in a few months lol)

And I get to hang out with her in a few days :D

See you soon Ash!

P.S Ashley doesn't have a weird birth mark on her neck its just some random dirt stuck on this photo lol

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Mother's Day

So... mother's day is over, its not like we really celebrate it anyways.. at least at my house.
Its a constant reminder of how much I hate my mom and how evil never dies lol.

If some of you have read some of my random posts about my family you'll know that Ashley and I have a horrible relationship with our mom, we just hate her... I'll explain in a bit if you don't already know.

I thought of doing something for Steve's mom (just like cheap flowers or something lol) but she went out with her friends so w/e don't give a shit lol.

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Now a back story

Since we were little our mom treated us like shit.

She was supposed to pick us up from school when we were like in Kindergarten and grades 1-5 but most of the time she would be at the casino and she'd forget about us. I remember having to walk home from school at like 6 years old (ashley was 8) by ourselves because we waited for her at the school till like 5pm. By that time basically all the teachers went home, I guess people assumed we lived close by or something because we would just play at the playground, otherwise, I'm sure someone would've taken us home instead of leaving little girls under the age of 10 alone. We walked home by ourselves (we literally had to walk 45 minutes to get to our house) Worst part of it all was when we got home we either had no keys because our parents couldn't trust us with them (we had to wait hours for our mom to get home) or our mom was home and she would say "oh I totally forgot about you" like it was nothing. I know some kids can walk home at such a young age but most have nannies or babysitters to pick up your kids after class and it also depends on how far away the school and house are.

I remember shutting my finger in a car door when I was in grade 1 when I was getting out of the car and she yelled at me and said that I was stupid (I was a 6 year old kid, folks) and she didn't take me to see the school nurse or anything she just drove off and left to let the school take care of it (got more stories like this, should start a blog series on them lol)

When we hit middle school I think that's when we realized how big of a psychopath she really was and our relationship separated even further. I had a few "close" friends in middle school and we'd have sleep overs quite often (better than being at home). Eventually our mom would be like "you're only going to sleep at your friends house because you want to have sex with their dad because you're a slut" .... yeah this started when I was like 13 years old, I had it worse off than Ashley (I think... lol gonna have to ask her) and it was about the time when I would just stop listening to her because the shit she said was just plain stupid according to her: "if you don't wear a jacket and you breathe in the cold air, your stomach will absorb the cold air and you will develop cancer and die" LOL

When I stopped listening to her that's when she started saying that I was possessed by demons, I was a slut and I was a drug addict because apparently all white people do drugs so that's why I kept going over to my friends houses after school -___-' and I've never done drugs and didn't lose my virginity till I was in my 20's lol and I'm still with the same guy so yeah, I'm a slut lol. Not sure about the demon possession LOL :P

In High School we argued a lot, I went to my friends house a lot because his family understood what I was going through (his mom had a bad childhood too) stayed there overnight quite a bit (got accused of sleeping around when I left the house in anger but my friend is gay so w/e lol) I don't think Ashley ever went away like that but I did a lot.

fast forward to now and I barely talk to her and when we talk she asks the same stuff over and over or just puts me down. She knows that Steve's moving out with his stupid mom and she keeps saying to me "you know he's just going to find another girlfriend because why would he want you?" "he probably has another girl to sleep with" and when I counter argue (he's moving out cause his sister is moving back to the city and how would 4 people live in a 1 bedroom suite?) she would say "i know him better than you do" "you don't know him like I do" like wtf, really! I just want to punch her.

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Anyways I hope most of you will understand why I hate mothers day and why I don't celebrate it.

Steve's mom is always like "you shouldn't tell people things like that, you should protect your mom" like I give a shit, I've tried to explain it to her so many times about how much I don't care about it and stuff but she doesn't understand, she knows these stories but she still thinks my mom is a great mom. Steve's mom is like a lot of Asian moms who think that because they gave birth to you and paid for your education etc... they're a great parent and you owe them and you owe them big.

If or when I break up with Steve, I never ever want to date a Korean or Asian person ever again unless their family is like whitewashed LOL and I will not let them meet my parents whatsoever.

Otherwise I hope you all had good mothers days LOL and realize how some or most of you are lucky to have a non-crazy mom... hopefully... lol

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Another Sasa Haul

Another Sasa haul.. Went a little nuts this month lol

The main reason why I did another order was for the hair mask lol most of the other products are just filler.. lol.

 Haruhada Collagen Moisture Cleansing Water

One of the top favorite products on Sasa, I wanted to get this cause I want to try using some more eye makeup but didn't really have a proper makeup remover for it so I purchased this! 

Super inexpensive (like $15) I didn't want to jump the gun on something like Bioderma that's double the price of this so its a good starting product and if it works well then that's good!

 Essential Rich Premier Honey Hair Mask

I've used the pink version of this before (the nuance airy one) but I heard this one is more moisturizing? I might be wrong but the pink one was good I just wanted it to be a little more moisturizing.

Essential Hair Serum

I've been using the Biosilk silk therapy oil stuff but I kind of think its not doing anything anymore lol but why not give this a shot so I ordered it.

 Heynature BB Cream

I was a little hesitant on purchasing this because it says "moist tightening" and since I have oily skin anything that says moist screams oily lol but maybe that's me. Not only that it was a bit on the pricy side (close to $30) I don't think I've spent that much on a BB cream before but we will see the end result.

Will write a post on this product later :P also there's only one color available (from what I saw) on Sasa.

Sana BB cream

I've never used a Japanese BB cream before and this one had 4/5 Stars based on its rating on Sasa but I ordered it anyway because it was like $15 lol. I know they sell this product at T & T at the Metrotown location but its like double the price >.< so yeah good deal on Sasa lol.

moop!

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April Updates 2014

I think its been a while since I wrote a monthly update blog post >.< (as far as I can remember)

Steve's mom finally got some work so its nice to get her out of the house and I guess Steve's been a little relaxed about it cause he doesn't have to put up with her constantly haha but she still annoys the shit out of him by calling him a lot lol especially when we're out, I guess its better than being physically around each other. She's worked for 3 weeks now and today she went to Montreal so I was like wtf? there really was no point in going there since Steve's sister doesn't graduate till September... I wonder why she went? But she's been gone one day and he's super relaxed lol.

In my previous post I wrote about how they were supposed to move out by this month but Steve told me (a week before the new tenant was supposed to move in) that they'll move out by June and that the manager at the building they applied for has a suite ready for them in June and that he has to go look at it etc etc... SO ANNOYING!

So messy lol

So I had it with their shit so I moved back upstairs lol and my room is a complete disaster at the moment since I kind of just dumped everything into the room, most of my clothes are still in Steve's room lol. He got mad at me for coming upstairs lol he said to me "why don't you just wait till I move out then go upstairs?" and he's been asking me to sleep downstairs with him ever since I came back up lol but I say no, I've taken a few nap downstairs but that's about it. I think all there's left is to move my desk upstairs and sort out my clothes.

I WANT IT

This is the cutest dog ever! I love pekingese dogs! I really wanted to take this little guy home but I just got sad cause its probably a puppy mill dog... I really really hate pet stores! Plus my mom takes care of dogs horribly I would have to wait to either move out or for her to die... to get a dog cause she takes care of them really really badly.

My parents are dog sitting again.. and they are super pissed about it because they really did not want to take care of this dog again. They had to take care of him for 3 months and last week they had him for three days and now he's here for a few weeks... its like why even have a dog? They're all mad cause this time my parents said no they don't want to take care of him but the people brought him here anyways... and my parents are doing it for free. I really want to bring this dog to the spca cause he's so psycho lol.. and he's attacked Monet in the past, he tried to bite her tail off >.< so yeah not a good dog to have around plus he's so noisy for the tenants that live downstairs. If its not Steve's mom that's making noise its another... like really!

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In other news I finally got my nexus card! yay! No more border wait for us! :D unless for some reason the nexus line is slow... then fuck lol. Me and Steve are going to the states next week and he's going to leave me there for a few weeks haha until Ashley and her husband come up to Vancouver for her birthday which means... lots of play time with her doggies! ^__^ and eventually a haul from the states lol.

I'm in dire need of a haircut lol its been nearly a year since I've had a cut and I have TONS of split ends, the problem is I don't really know where to go to get my haircut, I had a place in mind but the wait is too long and I don't want to go back to the place where I was getting my hair cut before cause the guy just does whatever he wants now.. like NO I DON'T WANT SHOULD LENGTH HAIR so annoying! It took me forever to grow it out and to have it nice and long..

Century egg and pork congee

I have no idea why but I've been SUPER craving congee lately. Me and Steve went to a late night congee house but its so far away T_T and I'm way too lazy to make some.. I guess I'm just going to have to wait, poop.

 Went nuts at a Korean snack restaurant

Its not often we go to Coquitlam to get Korean food but when we do... we go nuts! I guess this place isn't so great cause both me and Steve got diarrhea LOL but the food tasted good hahahaha. I like the fish cake soup especially, the broth is really lightly seasoned and comforting.

Anyways I guess that's all I can ramble about this month, otherwise I got the marks I wanted from school so I'm super happy and I'm doing a summer class that starts in June >.<

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